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Comic Relief!!
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Topic: Comic Relief!! (Read 985510 times)
jamison1
Forked
Posts: 61
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2220 on:
Mar 31, 2015, 07:48:43 PM »
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,929
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2221 on:
Apr 02, 2015, 08:20:25 AM »
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping
trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay
down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his
faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell
me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it
tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially
billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a
quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful
and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a
beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke."Watson,
you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent."
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,275
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2222 on:
Apr 02, 2015, 10:03:39 AM »
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,929
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2223 on:
Apr 03, 2015, 07:52:50 AM »
An attorney was frustrated that lawyers had such a reputation
for dishonesty. He decided to have is little say in defense of
lawyers even after his death and added to his will that his grave
stone was to be clearly marked HERE LIES A LAWYER
AND AN HONEST MAN!
Problem was, everybody concluded there must be two people
buried at that spot!
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,275
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2224 on:
Apr 03, 2015, 07:58:30 AM »
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chuckrudy
10 Pointer
Posts: 1,259
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2225 on:
Apr 03, 2015, 11:27:30 AM »
good one
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no information
30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,929
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2226 on:
Apr 05, 2015, 05:22:31 AM »
Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in
Europe; as it happens, in Transylvania.
They're driving a rental car along a rather deserted
highway. It's late, and raining very hard. Bob can
barely see 10 feet in front of the car.
Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts
to control the car, but to no avail. The car swerves
and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes
his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the
passenger seat and sees his new wife unconscious,
with her head bleeding.
Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows
he has to carry her to the nearest phone.
Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging
down the road. After a short while, he sees a light.
He heads towards the light, which is coming from an
old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks.
A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the
door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob
Hill, and this is my wife, Betty. We've been in a terrible
accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I
please use your phone??"
"I'm sorry," replies the hunchback, "but we don't have a
phone. My master is a doctor. Come in and I will get him."
Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the
stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I
am not a medical doctor. I am a scientist. However, it is
many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had basic
medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them
down to the laboratory."
With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs,
with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table
in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own
injuries; so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.
After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried.
"Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion."
Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail.
Bob and Betty Hill are no more.
The Hills' deaths upsets Igor's master greatly. Wearily,
he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses
his pipe organ. For it is here that he has always found
solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting
melody fills the house.
Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. As the music
fills the lab, his eyes catch movement. He notices the
fingers on Betty Hill's hand twitch.
Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise! He is
further amazed as Betty sits straight up! Unable to
contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.
He bursts in and shouts to his master:
(Don't page down unless you have a strong stomach...)
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You sure you want to know?
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O.K. You asked for it......
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"Master, Master!... The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,275
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2227 on:
Apr 05, 2015, 06:05:17 AM »
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,929
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2228 on:
Apr 06, 2015, 05:28:26 AM »
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that
crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great
white throne. God addresses Al first.
"Al, what do you believe in?"
Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and
that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more
freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll
all die."
God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, I can live with
that. Come and sit at my left,"
God then addresses Bill Clinton. "Bill, what do you
believe in?"
Bill Clinton replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think
people should be able to make their own choices about things and
that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do.
I also believe in feeling people's pain."
God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, that sounds
good. Come and sit at my right."
God then addresses Bill Gates. "Bill Gates, what do you
believe?"
Bill Gates said, "I believe you're in my chair."
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,275
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2229 on:
Apr 06, 2015, 06:48:40 AM »
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joe snag
Non-typical 13 Pointer
Posts: 3,311
I will Stand and Salute the American Flag always
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2230 on:
Apr 06, 2015, 07:45:06 PM »
Wasn't Hillary on the plane too !!!!!!!!
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,929
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2231 on:
Apr 06, 2015, 08:13:09 PM »
Quote from: joe snag on Apr 06, 2015, 07:45:06 PM
Wasn't Hillary on the plane too !!!!!!!!
Not this time, it was men only, I don't think she qualifies.
Logged
30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,929
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2232 on:
Apr 07, 2015, 04:10:23 AM »
The latest proposal to drive the Taliban and Al Qaeda out of
the mountains of Afghanistan is to send in the ASF (Alabama
Special Forces.) Billy Bob, Bubba, Boo, Scooter, Cooter and Junior
are being sent in with the following information about the Taliban:
1. The season opened last weekend.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. The hate beer, pickup trucks, country music, and Jesus.
5. They don't like barbecue.
6. They were responsible for Dale Earnhardt's death.
We estimate it should be over in just about two days.
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,275
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2233 on:
Apr 07, 2015, 07:24:03 AM »
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chuckrudy
10 Pointer
Posts: 1,259
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2234 on:
Apr 07, 2015, 05:41:25 PM »
good one.
Logged
no information
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