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MyHuntingForum Main => General Hunting Discussion => Topic started by: maineduckhunter on Sep 13, 12, 08:05:13 PM

Title: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Sep 13, 12, 08:05:13 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FIce%2520Fishing%2FDeer%2520Hunting%2F426735_478694668816029_894825924_n.jpg&hash=33ee6096a25d43bf6e3b3d4b06667b57)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FIce%2520Fishing%2FDeer%2520Hunting%2F554692_10151030569591003_1894666741_n.jpg&hash=924042530fd1383fc36e2abff8f60c28)
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: bogmanjr on Sep 13, 12, 08:07:07 PM
 ;D ;D 8) 8)
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: Raquettedacker on Sep 13, 12, 08:12:18 PM
Nice.. ;D
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: Raquettedacker on Sep 13, 12, 08:16:33 PM
Heres one for ya MDH..   ;D ;D

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi415.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp237%2Fraquettedacker%2Fimagejpeg9521.jpg&hash=a28ec5667db7b5d55e821fc4f9ee8698)
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: maineduckhunter on Sep 13, 12, 08:17:52 PM
Heres one for ya MDH..   ;D ;D

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi415.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp237%2Fraquettedacker%2Fimagejpeg9521.jpg&hash=a28ec5667db7b5d55e821fc4f9ee8698)
Yup seen that one!!  ;D
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: maineduckhunter on Sep 13, 12, 08:21:48 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FIce%2520Fishing%2FDeer%2520Hunting%2F156604_1518775006561_1150107772_31349111_4404269_n.jpg&hash=fb8ec7cb9017b3a372f5563ca6b68038)
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: eyehi on Sep 13, 12, 10:09:35 PM
Lmao......never seen that one
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Sep 14, 12, 03:41:20 AM
Lmao......never seen that one
X-2 :D :D
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: 30-30 on Sep 14, 12, 03:45:31 AM

          Me either
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: hunts2long on Sep 14, 12, 06:37:50 AM
MDH, you made my day. That is too funny....hunts2long
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: chuckrudy on Sep 14, 12, 07:29:17 AM
love the signs about the corn
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: Thestanimal on Sep 18, 12, 02:47:11 AM
Those are great!  LOL
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: maineduckhunter on Sep 19, 12, 08:57:30 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F483074_307258212714880_1522787631_n_zps124d4d9a.jpg&hash=f737d2f365a526de783628a1d3cee838)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Sep 19, 12, 09:06:52 AM
Good one MDH.... ;D
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: loonyone on Sep 19, 12, 09:07:11 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F483074_307258212714880_1522787631_n_zps124d4d9a.jpg&hash=f737d2f365a526de783628a1d3cee838)

that is my husband but same results....lol
Title: Re: A couple good ones!! :-D
Post by: Chucker on Sep 19, 12, 12:01:37 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F483074_307258212714880_1522787631_n_zps124d4d9a.jpg&hash=f737d2f365a526de783628a1d3cee838)

I've been know to resemble the guy in the chair....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Sep 19, 12, 03:35:33 PM
Thats all of us..
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Deposit on Sep 19, 12, 04:00:12 PM
yep ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Sep 26, 12, 08:11:19 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FIce%2520Fishing%2FDeer%2520Hunting%2F485758_436148583117886_2026510738_n.jpg&hash=486bf16381db6bac3ef137e25b1e677a)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Sep 26, 12, 08:16:54 AM
LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Sep 26, 12, 08:17:38 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FIce%2520Fishing%2FDeer%2520Hunting%2F485758_436148583117886_2026510738_n.jpg&hash=486bf16381db6bac3ef137e25b1e677a)

hysterical.......i hate when that happens
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Sep 26, 12, 08:17:41 AM
LOL! Now that one is good!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 01, 12, 09:03:57 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FIce%2520Fishing%2FDeer%2520Hunting%2F397198_10151220291594497_194114268_n.jpg&hash=00279893cf886b96f0ec92637c9aecb1)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 01, 12, 09:08:55 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 01, 12, 09:20:29 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FIce%2520Fishing%2FDeer%2520Hunting%2F525818_268256723271797_916995570_n.jpg&hash=3f6a2261fe0fba9a87b3edc2c486386b)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 01, 12, 09:29:12 AM
Oh....     Thats a good one....... ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Oct 01, 12, 09:39:41 AM
Funny MDH. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Oct 01, 12, 06:44:55 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FIce%2520Fishing%2FDeer%2520Hunting%2F525818_268256723271797_916995570_n.jpg&hash=3f6a2261fe0fba9a87b3edc2c486386b)

Those are the brand new signs for the NY youth season 


<ducks and runs>
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 02, 12, 07:28:39 AM
that is a good one too.....some of these are from bookface
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 02, 12, 07:35:16 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi894.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac142%2Fhuntin4christ%2FHunting%2Fimage0011.jpg&hash=136643eed32c8f90ea893d6b3032dc3f)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 02, 12, 07:36:37 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1222.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fdd491%2Fpaulzbor82%2FHunting%25202010%2FHunting.jpg&hash=5acf26afe541e66637797e6ec0d3317e)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 02, 12, 07:39:08 AM
that pretty good too.....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 02, 12, 07:48:40 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Squirrel on Oct 02, 12, 08:28:13 AM
haha good stuff
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 02, 12, 11:09:03 AM
Mighty Hunter.... ;D
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F299485_10151239292287324_436746636_n.jpg&hash=9847bca19f09ceba114ecc2d44387a46)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 02, 12, 11:09:19 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F189283_289090497873462_108235021_n.jpg&hash=118bd9814a6a30f05db6facc449312cb)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 02, 12, 11:11:17 AM
thats a good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Oct 02, 12, 11:35:53 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FIce%2520Fishing%2FDeer%2520Hunting%2F397198_10151220291594497_194114268_n.jpg&hash=00279893cf886b96f0ec92637c9aecb1)

I so copied this one!!!! LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 02, 12, 11:39:40 AM
I so copied this one!!!! LOL
HA Nice....you can copy any of mine!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 02, 12, 11:45:32 AM
Mighty Hunter.... ;D
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F299485_10151239292287324_436746636_n.jpg&hash=9847bca19f09ceba114ecc2d44387a46)

this it awesome/......missed it earlier....lmao
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Squirrel on Oct 02, 12, 11:46:50 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F189283_289090497873462_108235021_n.jpg&hash=118bd9814a6a30f05db6facc449312cb)

this is funny stuff
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 02, 12, 02:01:38 PM
That cat rug is great....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: walleymaster96 on Oct 02, 12, 02:26:04 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1191.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz466%2Fwalleyemaster96%2Fremake.jpg&hash=86ec52b7358e6c9a4197a8c384bf7352) haha
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 02, 12, 02:40:45 PM
 :o :o :o :o :o

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi410.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp190%2FFindStuff2%2FFunny%2FFunny%2520Signs%2Fsoccer_archery.jpg&hash=4a073984157b914e3e5a6a947cfa2635)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 02, 12, 02:56:08 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi257.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh239%2Famyiyq%2Ftothehunters.jpg&hash=7395fc685926bd400f7d813e288f53a5)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Squirrel on Oct 03, 12, 07:05:49 AM
hahaha ^^^^
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 03, 12, 07:13:36 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi257.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh239%2Famyiyq%2Ftothehunters.jpg&hash=7395fc685926bd400f7d813e288f53a5)
pita my a$$  more like dumb a$$
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 03, 12, 04:01:42 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi174.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fw94%2FGet_Organized%2FFunny%2520pix%2520and%2520signs%2520off%2520the%2520web%2Fduck-hunt.jpg&hash=965b995cd16ec0161342fd3e1a45fb83)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 03, 12, 04:28:24 PM

              Good 1 loony, & I know people that think that way! ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 03, 12, 04:48:36 PM
              Good 1 loony, & I know people that think that way! ::)

stupid is just that stupid......I can not help it that there are stupids out there...........sigh.....maybe we should have a stupid peoples hunt
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 03, 12, 06:16:56 PM
I have the best one ever for this thread but it is a guaranteed ban from the site so PM me if you are interested  ;D 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 03, 12, 06:21:43 PM
Inbox full Dom!   ;D  Good one!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 03, 12, 06:23:10 PM
Inbox full Dom!   ;D  Good one!



     Again?   I will clean some out...
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: bigb2004 on Oct 03, 12, 06:24:37 PM
I have the best one ever for this thread but it is a guaranteed ban from the site so PM me if you are interested  ;D 8)
Now you know we all are going to want to see it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 03, 12, 06:28:38 PM
PM sent to both of you 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 03, 12, 06:35:02 PM
Nice..... 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 03, 12, 07:08:42 PM
yep that one is band alright
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Squirrel on Oct 04, 12, 07:49:09 AM
send it over frank!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Oct 04, 12, 07:58:20 AM
I have the best one ever for this thread but it is a guaranteed ban from the site so PM me if you are interested  ;D 8)
Are you stealing my material? ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hickgtx600f4 on Oct 04, 12, 08:07:34 AM
some good stuff here.

send it over frank!

X2 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 04, 12, 04:51:31 PM
Are you stealing my material? ;D ;D

LOL, no it was not that one, I feel blessed you sent me that though, Perfect 10 son!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 04, 12, 04:54:30 PM
PM'S sent 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Oct 04, 12, 04:58:49 PM
Very nice loony ; Wat to many people out there that don't know what is what
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Squirrel on Oct 05, 12, 06:40:46 AM
haha that was a good one franky
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hickgtx600f4 on Oct 05, 12, 06:42:19 AM
the wife and i almost spit our food out on that one.  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 05, 12, 06:43:35 AM
Very nice loony ; Wat to many people out there that don't know what is what

What did I do?  What did I do?  I agree but what did I do? ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Oct 05, 12, 11:18:45 AM
I have the best one ever for this thread but it is a guaranteed ban from the site so PM me if you are interested  ;D 8)

PM sent AA.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 05, 12, 02:09:22 PM
Incoming Luke …
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Oct 05, 12, 02:19:05 PM
Perfect 10 son!
Cant deny that. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Oct 05, 12, 03:04:43 PM
haahhahahaa awesome one AA.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 06, 12, 06:38:59 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FIce%2520Fishing%2FDeer%2520Hunting%2F425929_10151147466334545_1273826784_n.jpg&hash=ffa2d59b791b6a7591dbc0574cedb7e2)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 08, 12, 07:11:39 PM
LOL, anytime
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: NYSporty on Oct 08, 12, 07:14:08 PM
I'll take that PM Capt.AA
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 08, 12, 07:23:14 PM
imcoming Jess 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: NYSporty on Oct 08, 12, 07:28:19 PM
An old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and his fishing pole walking down the dirt road. "Where you goin' with that pole?" he calls. "Gonna git me some fish with this here fishing pole!" answers the kid. Sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with a bucket of fish.

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some duct tape. "Where you goin' with that?" he calls. "Gonna git me some ducks with this here tape!" answers the kid. "You can't git no ducks with tape!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the tape strung out behind him and ducks stuck all over it!

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some chicken wire. "Where you going with that?" he calls. "Gonna get me some chickens with this wire!" answers the kid. "You can't get no chickens with wire!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the wire strung out behind him and chickens stuck all through it!

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some pussy willows.
"Now hold on just a minute wait for me to get my hat!!"
 

 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 08, 12, 07:30:19 PM
HAHAHA Awesome!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mookie on Oct 08, 12, 07:35:07 PM



   LMAO  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Blank Willow ...... Robin ...... Only 1 thing on my mind Howard _________  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Oct 08, 12, 07:39:50 PM
That was good...
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: NYSporty on Oct 08, 12, 08:02:16 PM
Ya I got censored on mff for that one but i figured id see how long till that happens here lol girl part willows just don't have the same punch.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 08, 12, 08:03:35 PM
LOL!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mookie on Oct 08, 12, 08:04:46 PM



    Where is you know who at  ::) ::) ::) ::) Only one person corney enough to get offended by that  ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 08, 12, 08:07:29 PM
I would venture to guess somewhere in the Adirondacks ::) :P ;D 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Oct 08, 12, 08:15:36 PM
Southern.....there is a difference....foothills they are called..... 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 08, 12, 08:19:30 PM
OH................ ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 09, 12, 07:13:56 AM
lol that was funny...like that one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 09, 12, 07:48:59 AM
Oh... ::) ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 09, 12, 11:44:11 AM
 ;D 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 09, 12, 12:13:19 PM
Southern.....there is a difference....foothills they are called..... 8) 8) 8)




      I live in the foothills... 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hunts2long on Oct 09, 12, 07:49:16 PM
So do I. They are BIG foothills....hunts2long
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Oct 10, 12, 03:59:48 AM
Not me Like looking down on every thing from these mountians ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 12, 12, 12:15:51 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F183461_10151261405945797_256275768_n.jpg&hash=74730c1b4cd92776f01b61b0f99ee871)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 12, 12, 12:17:20 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F10512_10151085829866658_186600921_n.jpg&hash=87bc7bf65b4cc5bdd2d0e3bf4fa6dfce)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Oct 12, 12, 12:19:36 PM
haha nice MDH.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Oct 12, 12, 04:43:03 PM
Hehehe that is good MDH  ;) ;) ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Fat Boy on Oct 12, 12, 04:52:24 PM
Those are all funny...keep 'em coming.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 15, 12, 12:23:13 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F229572_10151112077678105_1144993550_n.jpg&hash=28be56d7e6029387eb7f05dbb1fd7b7c)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Oct 15, 12, 05:02:24 PM
Don't tell Harrie - I see spots on that one!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Oct 16, 12, 12:08:06 PM
Couple people saw this one already.

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-snc7%2F424689_399340230135895_485938673_n.jpg&hash=af1bacff5503c3b676dac7eaf72470a2)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 16, 12, 12:16:13 PM
lol I wouldnt steel that one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: adkRoy on Oct 16, 12, 01:00:21 PM
Sent to me by a friend.


A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: NYSporty on Oct 16, 12, 01:19:00 PM
There was a bunch of guys out at there hunting camp playing cards and drinking one guy Bob really over did it and was plowed.
The next morning Bob wouldn't budge from his bunk so they all left him to sleep it off and took to there stands.
 At lunch time the guys are all heading back to the cabin and find that Bob has fallen asleep while going to the bathroom in the woods.
One of the men runs back to where they gutted a deer and took the gut pile and placed it under Bob's bare butt and they continue on to the cabin.
A while later the guys are all at the table eating when Bob bursts through the door yelling "You guys are never going to believe what happened to me!"
"I went out to go to the bathroom and fell asleep when I woke up I had pooped all my guts out but with the grace of god and these 2 fingers I got them all back in."  :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Oct 16, 12, 01:31:59 PM
hahahahaha gross.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 16, 12, 01:35:55 PM
another hahahaha and gross..............lmao
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 20, 12, 09:32:30 PM
Took a picture of this Monsta' today!!!  :P
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F545399_505929006091386_1602894987_n.jpg&hash=2876f13106849cdb4f875aa40b2a1522)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Oct 21, 12, 06:28:21 AM
Be careful - the bulls get aggressive this time of year!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 21, 12, 06:40:12 AM
That's right! And they will bury your nuts! You know like acorns and stuff ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Oct 21, 12, 07:03:02 AM
Took a picture of this Monsta' today!!!  :P
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F545399_505929006091386_1602894987_n.jpg&hash=2876f13106849cdb4f875aa40b2a1522)
He needs another year. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 21, 12, 03:54:16 PM
He needs another year. ;D

oh I love this ......squirmoosels
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 21, 12, 11:48:01 PM

                    My brother sent this pic to me, he wanted to know what this sign meant!
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fgunfire-jpg_231535.jpg&hash=dc74247408a0056bc4b7198fa254a1df)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Oct 22, 12, 12:23:47 AM
                    My brother sent this pic to me, he wanted to know what this sign meant!
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fgunfire-jpg_231535.jpg&hash=dc74247408a0056bc4b7198fa254a1df)
Hehe Must not know what gunfire is all about.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Oct 22, 12, 12:27:30 AM
oh I love this ......squirmoosels
I aim to please. ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Oct 22, 12, 03:51:58 AM
oh I love this ......squirmoosels
He is kinda cute ; But I'd mount him on the wall ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 22, 12, 05:22:22 PM
Hehe Must not know what gunfire is all about.
                Dave, he was a banker, he never hunted. ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Oct 22, 12, 06:14:31 PM
I need to meet him a banker OH yes I do  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 22, 12, 06:36:15 PM
He is kinda cute ; But I'd mount him on the wall ;D ;D ;D ;D

me too....love to have that on my wall.....
but could my wall hold him up?
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: NYSporty on Oct 23, 12, 02:20:48 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi37.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe98%2Fjallyn968%2Fbikerdeer.jpg&hash=cca40f7f652f63ecc12b7a4360321e53)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Oct 23, 12, 02:44:50 PM
hahahhah that is awesome NYSporty...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: bigb2004 on Oct 23, 12, 02:54:03 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1133.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fm598%2Fbigb2004%2F_facebook_-1334130194.jpg&hash=39c430d563bf28e89d7da4a1e70dbe19)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 23, 12, 03:53:29 PM
 :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o lol wasnt expecting that.. ;D ;D ;D...lol lol lol  :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o  even the squirrel is laughing
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 23, 12, 04:00:17 PM
HAHA, both those are PIMP! 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: eyehi on Oct 23, 12, 10:01:35 PM
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o lol wasnt expecting that.. ;D ;D ;D...lol lol lol  :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o  even the squirrel is laughing
Lmao.....wasnt expecting that either....both those are good  :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 24, 12, 04:41:53 AM

             I agree w/everyone both are great. But I have to give props to the guy on the bike, that would be pretty hard to do. 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Oct 24, 12, 05:48:34 AM
             I agree w/everyone both are great. But I have to give props to the guy on the bike, that would be pretty hard to do. 8)

I saw a kid down in Chenango County once pulling a deer behind a mountain bike on a sledge made of two small trees - pretty clever.  Had a decent deer on it too, so he was having a pretty Happy Thanksgiving that day.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: bigb2004 on Oct 24, 12, 01:02:53 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1133.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fm598%2Fbigb2004%2F_facebook_-643650921.jpg&hash=82e2826a008af6d0f1e69b4e05b99229)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 24, 12, 06:52:38 PM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 24, 12, 07:53:41 PM
guess I better run and hide.......loony out of here
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Oct 26, 12, 06:07:34 AM
And you think you're having a bad day.....


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-mp-4nQzKJAk%2FUIIl0Rd_SII%2FAAAAAAAAE1o%2FdW_cj4PZQCc%2Fs1600%2Fblog_deer_hung.jpg&hash=58e8ed38790ebd164422fe5f7c09bf61)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 26, 12, 06:13:00 AM
OH......... :o :o :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Oct 26, 12, 06:16:07 AM
Wonder if that was preceded with the age old statement.....here....hold my beer... 8) 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 26, 12, 06:40:32 AM
And you think you're having a bad day.....


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-mp-4nQzKJAk%2FUIIl0Rd_SII%2FAAAAAAAAE1o%2FdW_cj4PZQCc%2Fs1600%2Fblog_deer_hung.jpg&hash=58e8ed38790ebd164422fe5f7c09bf61)
               OH, that hurts :(
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 26, 12, 06:46:29 AM
Is that the view from mdh's tree stand? ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 26, 12, 06:48:23 AM
I dont have any of them thingees however I have fantom OOOOOOWWWWEEEEEE's
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Oct 26, 12, 07:16:34 AM
oh wow..............ouch. haha

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 26, 12, 07:57:13 AM
Is that the view from mdh's tree stand? ;D
At least it didn't get away!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Oct 26, 12, 09:55:42 PM
Oh, poor bastudh!!! Kill him now!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 27, 12, 04:26:17 AM

               

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F557837_429859647072143_1842418615_n_zpsc00a7ed6.jpg&hash=45f07acf62baed91c54387f33cdd939b)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 27, 12, 08:01:12 AM
like that one 30 30 that would be mee in a tree lol lol....to afraid to  look up or down lol lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 27, 12, 06:05:50 PM
like that one 30 30 that would be mee in a tree lol lol....to afraid to  look up or down lol lol

             Here's another 1 for ya loony!
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F577246_429538650437576_1607503854_n_zps86ffdfaa.jpg&hash=2a8e40a89a8ec069b4a579e0b15d680e)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Oct 27, 12, 06:27:55 PM
LOL!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 27, 12, 07:28:35 PM

              Got another 1!
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F66256_429582657099842_1042224257_n_zpsf43eadb4.jpg&hash=b47aaf01602a70508aede188dbac7d2a)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Oct 27, 12, 07:31:16 PM
Good ones 30-30. ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 27, 12, 07:37:04 PM
Good ones 30-30. ;D ;D
               Does the last 1 remind you of some of the dates you've been on recently! hehehehehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 27, 12, 07:38:52 PM
Good ones Jeff..
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Oct 27, 12, 07:40:14 PM
               Does the last 1 remind you of some of the dates you've been on recently! hehehehehe
No that one would be way better. ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Oct 27, 12, 07:48:48 PM
Merry XXXmas!!!

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-snc6%2F230855_10151191504278686_1544600976_n.jpg&hash=efacdeb56634e42ab3d37b23da101ba7)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 27, 12, 08:29:15 PM
              Got another 1!
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F66256_429582657099842_1042224257_n_zpsf43eadb4.jpg&hash=b47aaf01602a70508aede188dbac7d2a)
GREAT ONE!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 27, 12, 08:29:40 PM
Merry XXXmas!!!

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-snc6%2F230855_10151191504278686_1544600976_n.jpg&hash=efacdeb56634e42ab3d37b23da101ba7)

WOW!!!  :o ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 29, 12, 04:35:44 PM

          A sign in my fast food restaurant! ::)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F409188_431200186938089_1688281511_n_zps1d651706.jpg&hash=d201ae2aec057e1688a894706f80a4f4)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Oct 29, 12, 05:27:13 PM
              Got another 1!
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F66256_429582657099842_1042224257_n_zpsf43eadb4.jpg&hash=b47aaf01602a70508aede188dbac7d2a)


You been on a few have you hehehe Got a gin mill in the area that is nice :) :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 29, 12, 05:41:44 PM
You been on a few have you hehehe Got a gin mill in the area that is nice :) :) :)

I havea gin mill right around the corner from me
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Oct 29, 12, 05:47:00 PM
I havea gin mill right around the corner from me
[/quote  IDon't get to one to often got a 10 mile drive
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 29, 12, 05:49:10 PM
I havea gin mill right around the corner from me
[/quote  IDon't get to one to often got a 10 mile drive

I got to one tonight for a few
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 30, 12, 05:40:18 AM
               Hey Dom this could be your truck! ;D
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F374090_431854550205986_535907299_n_zpsd3d75659.jpg&hash=2022bbe0bcc3cc2b4e5b248707f4a558)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Oct 30, 12, 05:41:25 AM
That's a bad bass machine!!! 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 30, 12, 05:43:34 AM
I want one..... ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 30, 12, 05:43:53 AM
           Good morning Scott, I hope you had an uneventful night!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 30, 12, 05:45:18 AM
I want one..... ;D ;D
                Start saving you pennies! :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 30, 12, 07:02:30 AM
that is a basss asss vehicle........nice wrap
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Oct 30, 12, 07:07:37 AM
I want one..... ;D ;D


You would look good sitting behind the wheel  ;) ;)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 30, 12, 07:28:26 AM
new breed of fish in the tank....new ginnie fishies
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Oct 30, 12, 01:47:40 PM
new breed of fish in the tank....new ginnie fishies


That sure would be a good big one to catch  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 30, 12, 01:56:59 PM
That sure would be a good big one to catch  ;D ;D
[/quote

yeah raquette -== ginniefish instead of pigs
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Oct 30, 12, 02:37:50 PM
I want one..... ;D ;D
Trade in Mindy's BMW for one. ;) ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 30, 12, 03:06:45 PM
Trade in Mindy's BMW for one. ;) ;D ;D


    That would go over like a fart in church.............................................Besides Tyler thinks hes getting the Bmer next year. 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 30, 12, 03:29:30 PM

    That would go over like a fart in church

Confusious say..........he who fart in church.....................sit in his own pew..................
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Oct 30, 12, 05:32:01 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ash3%2F561951_530652456948220_1942109160_n.jpg&hash=d566eac18838c76188f9bccc2f85608a)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Oct 30, 12, 05:37:27 PM
Pretty sure this might have been posted at one time or another..

 
    (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh6j6M_EEe8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Oct 30, 12, 05:46:40 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fth00.deviantart.net%2Ffs51%2F200H%2Fi%2F2009%2F271%2F9%2F9%2FFunny_Sign_by_dazhuko.jpg&hash=ad24b788dbcbdf1f3439f64c614d3571)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi35.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd168%2Flauriainna%2FFunny%2520signs%2FFunnySign2-2006.jpg&hash=c9ce893abd95762afcd09abed39d9957)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mookie on Oct 30, 12, 05:51:26 PM
Pretty sure this might have been posted at one time or another..

 
    (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh6j6M_EEe8)
Once you go buck LMAO
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: bucksnort on Oct 31, 12, 08:49:34 PM
just got this in an email :

        DEER CAMP
         
        Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
         
        Ron's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

        Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.

        "Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

        "Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.

        She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.

        And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

        So, Here I am.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: eyehi on Oct 31, 12, 09:52:24 PM
Thats great bucksnort......im gonna print that one  8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 01, 12, 04:47:41 AM

              Good 1 Logan. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Nov 01, 12, 05:05:45 AM
Can relate to that one.... 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hunts2long on Nov 01, 12, 05:13:09 AM
Can relate to that one.... 8) 8) 8)

So, you are into the cuffs and ropes.....hunts2long
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: peddler on Nov 01, 12, 05:16:52 AM
Can relate to that one.... 8) 8) 8)

Scott, I never woulda thunk it !!!!

Peddler  :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Nov 01, 12, 05:41:54 AM
LOL....yeah there is a dark side.....but probably would choose the deer camp.... :o :o :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: peddler on Nov 01, 12, 05:53:38 AM
LOL....yeah there is a dark side.....but probably would choose the deer camp.... :o :o :o

At my age me too !!!!!

Peddler  8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: bucksnort on Nov 01, 12, 06:47:53 AM
LOL....yeah there is a dark side.....but probably would choose the deer camp.... :o :o :o
i like a good time just as much as the next guy.........but....... i woulda chose deer camp too......
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 01, 12, 09:02:42 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-11-01at100151AM.png&hash=9b0e57cad65c078feec31b88651108c8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 01, 12, 09:04:04 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-11-01at100312AM.png&hash=21b921f665a6160ad04bd734dceef7de)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Nov 01, 12, 09:06:32 AM
 ::)  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Nov 01, 12, 09:23:53 AM
Oh.....   ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 01, 12, 09:26:22 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-11-01at100151AM.png&hash=9b0e57cad65c078feec31b88651108c8)

check this one too
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Nov 01, 12, 12:00:21 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-11-01at100151AM.png&hash=9b0e57cad65c078feec31b88651108c8)

I couldn't help hearing Julia Child's voice when I read that one  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 01, 12, 12:32:57 PM
I couldn't help hearing Julia Child's voice when I read that one  ;D ;D

Oh god i so agree however now i wont stope hearing her
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 01, 12, 04:24:25 PM

           lol loony, you got some good 1's today! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Nov 01, 12, 05:52:09 PM
           lol loony, you got some good 1's today! ;D
X2. ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Nov 01, 12, 06:29:54 PM
Yep shes on fire... ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: NYSporty on Nov 03, 12, 02:55:04 PM
&feature=related

This guy likes his fish.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: bucksnort on Nov 03, 12, 04:44:33 PM
&feature=related

This guy likes his fish.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f94WI-0chv4&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f94WI-0chv4&feature=related)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: bucksnort on Nov 03, 12, 04:46:38 PM
just almost had beer comin out my nose,thats awesome
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 03, 12, 06:23:22 PM

              That's funny sporty! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 04, 12, 05:50:31 AM


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F576308_431571930234248_284879128_n.jpg&hash=0d47ff6e184d8951b4daab4bdc85a189)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Nov 04, 12, 05:58:41 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Nov 04, 12, 06:08:16 AM
Good stuff guys and gal!!! Good to start the day with a laugh.....keeps some of the tears away.... :P :P :P
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 05, 12, 07:09:09 AM

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F576308_431571930234248_284879128_n.jpg&hash=0d47ff6e184d8951b4daab4bdc85a189)

awesome...love it
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Cornbread on Nov 05, 12, 11:30:54 AM
This one has been around a while but it is still funny :)

How to rope a deer:

I  had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet a way), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back.

They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education in deer.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.

At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing up out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.

I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.

Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

Thats how you rope a deer.....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Cornbread on Nov 05, 12, 11:42:35 AM
Another older one but a good one :)

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little bad-arse long bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40-horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough SOB.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place.

Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasn't any fire danger. I'll put it this way- a set of post hole diggers and a 3 ft. hole and you had yourself a well.

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether). The light bulb went off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner...

Let's face it to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of dads muzzle loader Pyrodex . At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie... 1 lb Pyrodex and 16 oz. ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker, you know? You know what? Heck with that. I'm going back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a second can of Pyrodex and dumped it too.

Now we're cookin'. I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and let fly. As I released I heard a swish as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH CHIT!, he just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a '***' look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of Pyrodex and into the can............ HOLY CRAPPOLAH!

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 friggin' decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you, there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 foot above the ground as far as I could see.

It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FREAKIN' DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big sweet-gum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That mother got up and ran off. So here I am, on the ground, blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-shirt shredded... My dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE GOLL DAMIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185s 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know- I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. Then I felt another sharp pain, blacked out, woke later...... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me some more.

Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again?!!...... Gee thanks, Mom

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had been griping about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle-loaders a week or so later. And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the beating....... Or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Nov 05, 12, 11:53:15 AM
Good ones Cornbread. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Cornbread on Nov 05, 12, 12:10:35 PM
and people wonder why I am always single :)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2F541231_3474401352451_1149532326_n.jpg&hash=805aedb8855079d93ee9f245eb40233b)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Cornbread on Nov 05, 12, 12:25:06 PM
A few of the funny images I have kept over the years:


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Fawkward-moment.jpg&hash=a7f70e6c0597072642972445fe0b4f2d)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Fcured.jpg&hash=524415975220102f650baef4972b698e)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Fs583421674_2841201_6630990.jpg&hash=576a92e8a431bbdf64d29e0c390b34d5)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Fs583421674_2841222_3546853.jpg&hash=196db908ab3ea58e9817495ca2c8028f)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Fs583421674_2841243_7639278.jpg&hash=978e6c3522979f13509f1fafab7108ed)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2F15152_237768691674_583421674_4762659_2147610_s.jpg&hash=a37e8ddea6834ba5eb19176f7ac3edd5)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2F18555_308698756674_583421674_5131467_4971310_s.jpg&hash=28b4d240d85067b243cd142ff56efc3e)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2F22155_336012796674_583421674_5238993_2860142_s.jpg&hash=37256d44c387d87b27c4a561a204fd37)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2F24539_419011011674_583421674_5712036_3831842_s.jpg&hash=94c9542018d341fdc513ce67c281a292)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2F24539_419011046674_583421674_5712042_1803515_s.jpg&hash=7a025221637a7d82dc6a15146cc77251)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2F39870_457177956674_583421674_6721910_6072739_s.jpg&hash=e68f90d5602ae0a2ddfefd2a0f555fdf)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2F163849_10150131173476675_583421674_8327845_1942865_s.jpg&hash=edb720b8b0495d703323f5ff89c75aa9)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2F226071_10150328312296675_583421674_9931450_2311312_s.jpg&hash=22476c3865a5e57e8675b7025f4ec053)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2F227489_10150260439861675_583421674_9289547_7859224_s.jpg&hash=6a1dc68c27044b9e44d64f1413a963dc)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2F294632_10150371699916675_583421674_10363039_1077710267_s.jpg&hash=adc96b67177c8c871f722419bee8460d)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2F308357_10150371699861675_583421674_10363037_993965518_s.jpg&hash=09039bbe9bfcf15f1c290567ead8aae0)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2F320592_10150354128491675_583421674_10213619_2641003_s.jpg&hash=200090db2c8465dd291e0f9c02505cdd)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Fs583421674_2854320_2431106.jpg&hash=03671df35778dd2af8c0919860783935)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Nov 05, 12, 05:00:35 PM
LOL! Those are great! Love the Chris Farley one! He was the man!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Nov 05, 12, 06:48:35 PM
OMG!......LMAO.......because there's a bear in the way!!!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 05, 12, 07:44:13 PM
too funny and some are old some are from facebook but most are just funny
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 06, 12, 05:38:58 AM
And you think you're having a bad day.....


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-mp-4nQzKJAk%2FUIIl0Rd_SII%2FAAAAAAAAE1o%2FdW_cj4PZQCc%2Fs1600%2Fblog_deer_hung.jpg&hash=58e8ed38790ebd164422fe5f7c09bf61)
Remember this 1, well here is the other side of the story!
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FFunnydeerpictures2.jpg&hash=5d36e69227a8f351b297e39dbb55bed2)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Nov 06, 12, 05:52:47 AM
Those are good...
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Nov 06, 12, 07:11:33 AM
Those are awesome...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 06, 12, 05:38:59 PM

          I've got a couple more!
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fmisconstrued_beaver_hat.jpg&hash=c484cbfde9174917f905cf97160b34ee)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F239042692691701850_46JoE1R3_c.jpg&hash=93ea4b17f4c429f601e5863996b6b5e9)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 07, 12, 06:31:59 AM
lol i love both of these 30 30.......thanks lmao
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Nov 07, 12, 07:21:42 AM
I like the bar one.... ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Nov 07, 12, 07:29:29 AM
haha good ones 30-30.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: NYSporty on Nov 07, 12, 01:47:30 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi37.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe98%2Fjallyn968%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F599191_515807521776622_1794572222_n.jpg&hash=debf33a28ce29d2e2a58662908730169)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Otto on Nov 07, 12, 03:12:56 PM
A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could find on ice fishing.

For weeks she read and studied, hoping to become an expert in the field. Finally she decided she knew enough and out she went for her first ice fishing trip. She carefully gathered up and packed all the tools and equipment needed for the excursion. Each piece of equipment had its own special place in her kit.

When she got to the ice, she found a quiet little area, placed her padded stool and carefully laid out her tools.

Just as she was about to make her first cut into the ice, a booming voice from the sky bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!"

Startled, the blonde grabbed up all her belongings, moved further along the ice, poured some hot chocolate from her thermos, and started to cut a new hole.

Again the voice from above bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!"

Amazed, the blonde was not quite sure what to do as this certainly was not covered in any of her books. She packed up her gear and moved to the far side of the ice. Once there, she stopped for a few moments to regain her calm. Then she was extremely careful to set everything up perfectly--tools in the right place, chair positioned just so. Just as she was about to cut this new hole, the voice came again.

"There are no fish under the ice!!"

Petrified, the blonde looked skyward and asked, "Is that You, Lord?"

The voice boomed back, "NO THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE SKATING RINK!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Nov 07, 12, 03:28:56 PM
Good one. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Nov 07, 12, 03:31:07 PM
Oldie but always a goodie Otto.... ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 07, 12, 06:46:13 PM

          A connoisseur of beer. ::)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F00759-funny-cartoons-deer.gif&hash=3ad0fb870fc04bd00989fb276c36cafb)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: eyehi on Nov 07, 12, 07:41:36 PM
          A connoisseur of beer. ::)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F00759-funny-cartoons-deer.gif&hash=3ad0fb870fc04bd00989fb276c36cafb)
Now i understand my problem.....save the budweiser for the celebration  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 08, 12, 04:04:49 AM

         There's another 1 that is simular that was posted earlier!
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fcartoon.jpg&hash=d02ee177d89c7f2a04debdbe3c7b7fcb)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Nov 08, 12, 06:24:43 AM
Ok this made me laugh this morning so I am sharing... ;D ;D

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi588.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fss324%2Fhuntny30%2F305514_448259945210459_2139093074_n.jpg&hash=dfd687e58e1ca8d962804c360b606f5d)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Nov 08, 12, 07:24:49 AM
Ok this made me laugh this morning so I am sharing... ;D ;D

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi588.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fss324%2Fhuntny30%2F305514_448259945210459_2139093074_n.jpg&hash=dfd687e58e1ca8d962804c360b606f5d)

hahaha yeah that one is awesome.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Nov 08, 12, 08:11:46 AM
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too.

"Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something ... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

"Yeah, but we're getting farther from the truck," the other added.

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Nov 08, 12, 08:16:30 AM
 What is the defination of a non-typical Whitetail?
  One that stays off the Highway!      ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 08, 12, 08:36:39 AM
RAQUETTE.....these are blondie jokes.....i swore you had dark brown hair
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Nov 08, 12, 08:36:52 AM
Found this on a site -

A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said, "Stay here and be very QUIET. I’ll be across the field." A few minutes later, the father heard a bloodcurdling scream and ran back to his son. "What’s wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be quiet." The son answered, "Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. I didn’t move a muscle when the skunk climbed over my shoulder. I closed my eyes and held my breath when the wasp stung me.
 
I didn’t cough when I swallowed the gnat. I didn’t cuss or scratch when the poison oak started itching. But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said, ’Should we eat them here or take them with us?’ Well, I guess I just panicked."

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 08, 12, 08:45:07 AM
funny lewkie
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 09, 12, 03:25:00 PM
          I almost felt this way today, everytime I looked up on a ridge or just a knoll I saw a deer. I couldn't tell if they were Bucks or Does, they took off too fast! >:(
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Funtitled.png&hash=2a2587347fd9797d71b9aebb385c6c6b)
     
          I never thought of looking in the trees! ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 09, 12, 06:05:03 PM
thats funny.....gonna happen to me for sure
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Nov 10, 12, 04:10:16 AM
thats funny.....gonna happen to me for sure

Now you're going to have to get up in a tree to find them!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 12, 12, 07:34:50 AM
Now you're going to have to get up in a tree to find them!

yes I will but at least it will be them in the trees and not me.....lol ....saturdays finally getting here to try it out....I will remember to look up instead of out and about.........lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Nov 13, 12, 10:18:30 AM
 ;) ;D
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_OzXJuNyMIKE%2FSkgpQV8rkjI%2FAAAAAAAAA5A%2FLhmAomuZGWk%2Fs400%2FBL_HORIZONTAL_beardly1_woman_sm.jpg&hash=7a16f3e64d88448659daf5ccf5c37266)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Nov 14, 12, 09:03:06 AM
Two holiday ones for you.....


A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "like heck they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."



I’ve had requests for my Tequila Christmas Cake recipe so I thought I'd share it here. Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!!!!)

1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 14, 12, 09:05:06 AM
I have seen both of these.....these are just funny....lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Nov 15, 12, 06:34:26 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F542752_463399720365016_529519994_n.jpg&hash=bf12dbdf8d893ab2ca55676d96943c35)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 15, 12, 06:39:00 PM
that one is awesome
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: eyehi on Nov 15, 12, 07:16:09 PM
that one is awesome
x2 awesome
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Nov 15, 12, 07:42:30 PM
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success.

Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull.

They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him."

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?"

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 15, 12, 08:20:31 PM
OMG.....thats a good one too......lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Nov 15, 12, 08:26:03 PM
Not hunting but funny... ;D

Two guys from Daniels County are quietly sitting in a fishing boat sucking down beer when suddenly Mel says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months."

Earl sips his beer and says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."    ;D ;D ;D ;D



    Two old fishermen were sitting on a bridge catching a few crappies when a hearse went by.  The first man put down his rod and removed his hat. After the hearse was gone his friend said "Bill that was real nice showing respect for the dead like that". To which Bill replied "It was the least I could do, we would have been married 40 years next month"


   World's Shortest Fairy Tale...... ;D ;D ;D ;D

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing a lot and hunting a lot and played golf a lot and drank beer and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

THE END
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Nov 15, 12, 09:31:02 PM
Good ones! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Nov 16, 12, 05:34:28 AM
 :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi415.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp237%2Fraquettedacker%2FPETAad1.jpg&hash=03d8ce9b6d52bae25650e8d2d041c701)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Nov 16, 12, 06:02:30 AM
Thought you were posting an ad for some Asian restaurant thanksgiving dinner..... :o :o :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 16, 12, 06:45:09 AM
that sounds like a chinese din din.......whats for dinner.....................chin din din
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: OTIS on Nov 16, 12, 06:58:59 AM
Thought you were posting an ad for some Asian restaurant thanksgiving dinner..... :o :o :o

 ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miBKPwVtxFU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miBKPwVtxFU)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Nov 16, 12, 07:11:58 AM
;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miBKPwVtxFU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miBKPwVtxFU)

That was the first thing I thought of, too  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Nov 16, 12, 09:22:40 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-snc7%2F428236_2766210563585_1724059580_n.jpg&hash=299c2047643ba2075239e6e526a5f35e)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 16, 12, 09:23:18 AM
I love that one CaptJJ.....one of my favorites
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Otto on Nov 16, 12, 09:31:58 AM
I love the moose one!  Brace yourself!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Nov 16, 12, 09:44:02 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F408097_461624217209233_1462087910_n.jpg&hash=a46a5d04fb4273cf2dfd07dcb6113332)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Nov 16, 12, 09:49:48 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F47425_10151115551666658_1517338896_n.jpg&hash=9fc645f16a3c9d59b20e50962a999aba)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Nov 16, 12, 09:53:46 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F378279_10151033846616658_1818500079_n.jpg&hash=3f1b27e2417adc274ae4aa231434634d)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Nov 16, 12, 09:57:25 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F391272_10150982004536658_380451495_n.jpg&hash=8f670d43603e16b60e9469facff86a43)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Nov 16, 12, 10:09:20 AM
haha some more good ones here...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 16, 12, 10:18:26 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-11-16at111119AM.png&hash=a7311787e5e384dbfeee676990fe5831)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-11-16at110930AM.png&hash=9edbef7788cd7df1eff1eb2a833cd40a)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-11-16at111008AM.png&hash=bc08cdb53ef3ca26bfd4c2584e5e6c56)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Nov 16, 12, 10:19:27 AM
hahahhaha nice loony.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 16, 12, 11:51:22 AM

              Very good loony! :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 16, 12, 06:05:15 PM
             i know this isn't you loony, you won't get up in a tree stand!

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fbgh-rm-151.jpg&hash=32bf1351853e8966a21de2576d2b42ba)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 16, 12, 06:44:10 PM
             i know this isn't you loony, you won't get up in a tree stand!

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fbgh-rm-151.jpg&hash=32bf1351853e8966a21de2576d2b42ba)

lol I practiced in the state land so I can climb about 8 feet without freaking out.......so it is now me...........however no higher than 8....I was gonna surprise everyone with a picture of me in the tree but dont think I can take a pic of myself and climb.....so yep I climb a tiny bit but no more for this year,,,,,,found a nice spot down in tiaoghanau (spell) down near erieville............hope i get there before everyone else does
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 16, 12, 08:00:24 PM

           Good luck down there loony! :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 16, 12, 08:04:55 PM
           Good luck down there loony! :D

thanks and good luck up there 3030
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 17, 12, 05:27:31 AM
                         Not really funny, just thought you all would enjoy! ;D

               
           http://lovedbdb.com/nudemenClock/index2.html  (http://lovedbdb.com/nudemenClock/index2.html)

             When the clock starts running click on it & it will change to a digital clock
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 18, 12, 04:21:52 AM


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F8620_hunting_cartoon_JAC.gif&hash=13465d754491c0d65db83d4940421675)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 19, 12, 08:35:23 AM
Happy Thanksgiving everyone ;lol

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-11-16at22701PM.png&hash=b6adcb2e0e2883a2db5f9efd73972ad1)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 19, 12, 08:37:15 AM
                         Not really funny, just thought you all would enjoy! ;D

               
           http://lovedbdb.com/nudemenClock/index2.html  (http://lovedbdb.com/nudemenClock/index2.html)

             When the clock starts running click on it & it will change to a digital clock

OMG you are too funny......click on the d......and it goes digital.lmao
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 20, 12, 08:25:09 PM

           Its getting close to Thanksgiving, I thought I'd start it off!
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FThanksgiving-CARTOON.jpg&hash=0017058b805187b1cdaee13c684e2856)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 20, 12, 08:42:56 PM
thats a good one 30 30.....i am so glad I am human
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: eyehi on Nov 20, 12, 09:21:21 PM
Nice one 30-30....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 22, 12, 04:45:19 AM

                 Check this out!

                           
[ Invalid YouTube link ]
 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Q3scnR5GKGk)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 22, 12, 04:21:25 PM
I can see me participating in that...........lol too funny
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 23, 12, 03:50:47 PM

       This happened to me once, but it was a doe staring @ me! ::)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fpriorities.jpg&hash=d74b4b0c9ad1c9cec7ec153adfb9331d)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mookie on Nov 23, 12, 04:10:54 PM
       This happened to me once, but it was a doe staring @ me! ::)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fpriorities.jpg&hash=d74b4b0c9ad1c9cec7ec153adfb9331d)
That remind's me of my 1st deer .... Only Dad's pants were dropped and I shot LMAO .....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 24, 12, 04:29:19 PM

           This could have been me the other day, when it was warm!
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fhunter-falls-asleep.png&hash=fc700df90ed9634a3c971223a5cb660e)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: The 3Ps on Nov 24, 12, 05:38:27 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1212.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc459%2FThe3Ps%2Fmerrychristmas.jpg&hash=4c637d09907c0c21a5d0190d7c74dd78)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 dan on Nov 25, 12, 05:27:36 PM
And you think you're having a bad day.....


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-mp-4nQzKJAk%2FUIIl0Rd_SII%2FAAAAAAAAE1o%2FdW_cj4PZQCc%2Fs1600%2Fblog_deer_hung.jpg&hash=58e8ed38790ebd164422fe5f7c09bf61)





ouch.....bet that hurt
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 25, 12, 07:00:58 PM
       This happened to me once, but it was a doe staring @ me! ::)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fpriorities.jpg&hash=d74b4b0c9ad1c9cec7ec153adfb9331d)

looks just fine to me...................... ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 25, 12, 07:45:36 PM
looks just fine to me...................... ;D ;D ;D
It would! ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: bigb2004 on Nov 25, 12, 07:55:51 PM
Naughty trees (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1133.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fm598%2Fbigb2004%2F_facebook_2048924834.jpg&hash=626c470c84b59ab8839130a3f5276aaf)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 26, 12, 07:26:03 AM
Naughty trees (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1133.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fm598%2Fbigb2004%2F_facebook_2048924834.jpg&hash=626c470c84b59ab8839130a3f5276aaf)
I have seen versions of these but the second one just looks mighty dopy to me......almost happy.....lol naughty trees......not like they dont get that in the winds but this is just to much
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 dan on Nov 26, 12, 11:15:45 AM
sorry Raquette but this is the worlds shortest fairy tale

Once apon a time, a man named Bryan went hunting and shot a deer.
the end.....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Nov 28, 12, 07:57:08 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzG3Q3zsqgA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzG3Q3zsqgA)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Nov 28, 12, 09:52:20 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzG3Q3zsqgA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzG3Q3zsqgA)
HA HA that is Great!! I'd probably scream like a little girl too!!  :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Nov 28, 12, 09:58:33 AM
We were thinking it was risky and that someone could easily have kicked her.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 28, 12, 11:07:09 AM
OMG that is way to funny....something i am known to do....hahahahahhaha
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Nov 28, 12, 11:25:36 AM
Football and the Blonde

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 28, 12, 11:53:58 AM
funny capt jj..........hope your not the blonde he was talking about
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Nov 28, 12, 01:07:02 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzG3Q3zsqgA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzG3Q3zsqgA)

hahaha seriously I would lose it if someone did this to me...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 28, 12, 01:09:19 PM
funny capt jj..........hope your not the blonde he was talking about
I'm leaving that 1 to you loony, I wouldn't touch it. ha ha
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 28, 12, 01:16:18 PM
I'm leaving that 1 to you loony, I wouldn't touch it. ha ha
as you can see for the most part I usually dont need to much help in this catagory...lol I get myself in so much trouble that it is unbelieveable.....................no touch needed and only having fun
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Nov 28, 12, 01:16:41 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2F74196_10151170781198723_1870963518_n.jpg&hash=8de0aa8b1e2e8f329c3f27cb70a76984)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Nov 28, 12, 01:21:38 PM
I know they are stupid pictures but I just find these awesome.....lol stupid is my middle name
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 04, 12, 10:01:50 AM
As we approach the last few days of southern hunting........This is what we dont want to happen when walking to our stands

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-12-04at103348AM.png&hash=6590b9d9d6ab7abd8f8585dcfb1bd297)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 05, 12, 06:09:39 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F575958_454032227952309_365615580_n.jpg&hash=41d8e96aa5563c7f42045a7e01186ee5)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 05, 12, 06:09:58 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F553548_416984874990378_1191237283_n.jpg&hash=a3fd1dee67f8ec6ff6960898eed7fdb1)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 05, 12, 06:10:16 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F542632_505966826092182_1782016083_n.jpg&hash=172d6b99af1cadce0b4c9b574125e143)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 05, 12, 06:10:38 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F531704_447319418623590_1608264301_n.jpg&hash=c9dd221adec1899ef28135d42e50dc54)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 05, 12, 06:11:02 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F530112_464786570210208_1063026577_n.jpg&hash=304259157bc6e76cd6548d11a6bee680)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 05, 12, 06:11:19 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F487338_453005688054963_2119959489_n.jpg&hash=c768e0330e85048cfadef6e4f8ab50a0)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 05, 12, 06:11:43 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F486220_507788112576720_871031167_n.jpg&hash=c3ed4b4513ce9eae78b3c86dbc684b56)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 05, 12, 06:12:02 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F431676_492520340770164_344613234_n.jpg&hash=c2cc88ce1af604c4bb20396d447839a8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 05, 12, 06:12:23 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F292392_459009154121283_1427625347_n.jpg&hash=d04ecde6b96ec14292de6ffa7d2b3a88)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 05, 12, 06:12:48 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F197863_508102912545240_89980648_n.jpg&hash=2c5af8191fa16c9b7be3c7d1e0a106af)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Dec 05, 12, 07:17:01 AM
haha awesome guys...the food chain one is great.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Dec 05, 12, 08:28:25 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1189.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz439%2Ffishnmachine1%2F308685_1969649861408_1847821901_1333130_344077780_n.jpg&hash=c95757ed5e28f62bdf609dae9b062eb9)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Dec 05, 12, 10:20:48 AM
Good ones! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Dec 05, 12, 12:51:43 PM
Good one fishnmachine............ ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: NYSporty on Dec 05, 12, 01:31:58 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi37.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe98%2Fjallyn968%2F8-Lsxy-J2USjqOdtLuf1ZQ2.jpg&hash=973368ae2fbd1f5db1f01a43486c0a5d)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Dec 05, 12, 01:37:39 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi12.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa246%2Fbrizejellicle%2FFunny%2520Pictures%2Fdeerhunting.jpg&hash=dd11c1e12720dbb76452c69bfc52b884)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 05, 12, 01:39:42 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi37.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe98%2Fjallyn968%2F8-Lsxy-J2USjqOdtLuf1ZQ2.jpg&hash=973368ae2fbd1f5db1f01a43486c0a5d)

I want one.....this was a great one...lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 05, 12, 01:40:19 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi12.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa246%2Fbrizejellicle%2FFunny%2520Pictures%2Fdeerhunting.jpg&hash=dd11c1e12720dbb76452c69bfc52b884)

good one raquette
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Dec 05, 12, 01:40:41 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1230.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fee483%2FwildcherryG1RL%2Ffunnydeer.jpg&hash=0946393c699dd2b9a782df232dfaf315)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 05, 12, 01:42:14 PM
whatchew on fb again?
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Dec 05, 12, 01:43:03 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi583.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fss279%2Fpeacegirl163%2Ffunny-pictures-deer-under-trampolin.jpg&hash=e34bde5837ed3ca0608ebfbc8a654768)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 05, 12, 01:43:45 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi583.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fss279%2Fpeacegirl163%2Ffunny-pictures-deer-under-trampolin.jpg&hash=e34bde5837ed3ca0608ebfbc8a654768)

fb again for sure
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Dec 05, 12, 01:44:53 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1129.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fm518%2FWwerita%2FHunting-funny-deer.jpg&hash=c8f8bf35c83d6a193b513433831ddfa3)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Dec 05, 12, 02:26:40 PM

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fimage007.jpg&hash=5cf2804e688f14b255e21100c185f061)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Dec 05, 12, 08:30:28 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1189.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz439%2Ffishnmachine1%2Fsnow_camo.jpg&hash=95883ab67c6ff63d93344b8b61d3c8c5)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Dec 05, 12, 08:33:33 PM
That's not you is it? ;D ;D Good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Dec 05, 12, 08:51:08 PM
Lol! Nope. Not me. I wouldn't have fit in my ex's...or current's for that matter.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: bassranger on Dec 06, 12, 07:23:19 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi272.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fjj170%2Fbassranger420%2F60_4542_s_rt__558881286826789750750.jpg&hash=0c87cabf04b2e0ed1fb2dbf1414c84dd)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Dec 07, 12, 12:47:41 PM
  http://thepossumdrop.com/     (http://thepossumdrop.com/)
  http://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/250702/     (http://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/250702/)
 
 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-YYL1629GA)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Dec 07, 12, 04:54:24 PM
(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/16103_10151111924421371_475835148_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Otto on Dec 09, 12, 06:39:17 PM
'Three SCOTTISH Kick Rule' 

A Glasgow lawyer went duck hunting in rural Aberdeenshire . He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.   As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Scotland and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.".   The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Mintlaw. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.   The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!  His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.    Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn." 

(I love this part) 

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck." 

When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear.    When you're intelligent, you know which half. 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Dec 09, 12, 06:42:43 PM
LOL Good One!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Dec 09, 12, 07:11:41 PM
 :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Spikes on Dec 09, 12, 07:29:00 PM
This happened to me in a dream once..  ;D
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1051.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fs431%2FDowneastah4%2FMoose1.jpg&hash=a2bfa68f040f4ae1580b77ca4d1179ef)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Dec 10, 12, 03:29:29 AM
(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/16103_10151111924421371_475835148_n.jpg)
Good one Chucker
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Cornbread on Dec 10, 12, 08:29:35 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2FHeros.jpeg&hash=c4b693f070f6c78ec46e3e9cd21c9d31)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Dec 10, 12, 08:41:31 AM
Lol!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Dec 10, 12, 09:31:54 AM
Thats great Cornbread...  I just watched Rambo a couple of weeks ago....   Not First Blood but Rambo....  It was made a couple of years ago. and at 60 something Sly was awesome.............
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Dec 10, 12, 11:04:20 AM

           X2 Cornbread, that was really a good 1. Just shows how we are digressing as a society! ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 12, 12, 05:59:26 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F480597_10151349834375797_775445403_n.jpg&hash=1a731120ce9446dc4d827d1ec4e2b50f)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 dan on Dec 12, 12, 06:35:15 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F480597_10151349834375797_775445403_n.jpg&hash=1a731120ce9446dc4d827d1ec4e2b50f)


not with us............Muzzel loader 1 BANG       ML2      BANG......Afew mins later.......BANG      BANG
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 12, 12, 08:09:49 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F548653_453511524708762_999566946_n.jpg&hash=f0fb3cd5d18eb540c8594b076567b928)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Dec 12, 12, 08:54:38 AM
LOL! I like that one.....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 12, 12, 01:24:00 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F182309_499801250051649_1777859523_n.jpg&hash=f3db86a4ac9aeaad5571eddfde6f23ae)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 12, 12, 01:44:36 PM
both are awesome.......lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Dec 12, 12, 02:57:21 PM
http://www.biggamehunt.net/cartoons/july-2010-0 (http://www.biggamehunt.net/cartoons/july-2010-0)

Loony? haha

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 12, 12, 03:38:11 PM
http://www.biggamehunt.net/cartoons/july-2010-0 (http://www.biggamehunt.net/cartoons/july-2010-0)

Loony? haha

Luke

yes this is me but and i repeat but.........I do go to 8 ft or less now..........llol lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 12, 12, 09:06:55 PM
http://www.biggamehunt.net/cartoons/july-2010-0 (http://www.biggamehunt.net/cartoons/july-2010-0)

Loony? haha

Luke
Yup that used to be me!! But I got over it!!  ;D  A safety harness helped that!!  8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: OTIS on Dec 13, 12, 06:49:25 AM
yes this is me but and i repeat but.........I do go to 8 ft or less now..........llol lol

Do you bring a tape measure with you?

LOL!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 13, 12, 07:00:02 AM
Do you bring a tape measure with you?

LOL!

no but I count my climbing steps.....and if I can reach it with my hands thats high enough.......lol so yeah maybe I bring my measuring arms......believe me it is within my reach so 8 is probably wrong more like 7 my guess.....lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Dec 13, 12, 07:37:57 AM
no but I count my climbing steps.....and if I can reach it with my hands thats high enough.......lol so yeah maybe I bring my measuring arms......believe me it is within my reach so 8 is probably wrong more like 7 my guess.....lol
You were high enough, you got a nice deer from that height, didn't you!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Dec 13, 12, 07:57:29 AM
You were high enough, you got a nice deer from that height, didn't you!

Ya she did!

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 13, 12, 08:16:39 AM
You were high enough, you got a nice deer from that height, didn't you!

I sure was....and i am still flying high.........but my feets are grounded for the moment....at least until Saturday
Title: Timmy's Letter to Santa
Post by: Chucker on Dec 13, 12, 09:42:01 AM
 Dear Santa,
 
 How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 5 for Christmas. I hope you remember that on Christmas Day.
 
 Merry Christmas,
 
 Timmy Jones
 
 ~~~~~~~~
 
 Dear Timmy,
 
 Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.
 
 Merry Christmas,
 
 Santa Claus
 
 ~~~~~~~~
 
 Mr. Claus,
 
 Seeing that I have fulfilled the "Naughty vs. Nice" contract requirement, set by you, I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
 
 Respectfully,
 
 Tim Jones
 
 ~~~~~~~~
 
 Mr. Jones,
 
 While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well, that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.
 
 Very Truly Yours,
 
 S Claus
 
 ~~~~~~~~
 
 Now look here, Fat Man,
 
 I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you're just disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat a$$; when you get here, I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want.
 
 WHATEVER I WANT, MAN!
 
 T-Bone
 
 ~~~~~~~~
 
 Listen Pizza Face,
 
 Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal? I got your $hit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your a$$ and then walk it dry.
 
 Chew on that, Petunia.
 
 S Clizzy
 
 ~~~~~~~~
 
 Dear Santa,
 
 Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.
 
 Timmy
 
 ~~~~~~~~
 
 Timmy,
 
 That's what I thought, you little bastard.
 
 Santa
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Dec 13, 12, 09:45:24 AM
LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 13, 12, 09:58:55 AM
lol thats what I thought too
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Dec 13, 12, 10:04:55 AM
HAHA, S. Clizzy
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Dec 13, 12, 10:17:17 AM
hahah that one is great. Don't mess with Santa...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Dec 13, 12, 11:18:32 AM
        I only wish! ::)

              (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Frandy_120.jpg&hash=f64c17aa8146ba3977c90ecef93c10a6)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 13, 12, 11:23:35 AM
        I only wish! ::)

              (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Frandy_120.jpg&hash=f64c17aa8146ba3977c90ecef93c10a6)

HA HA that's how it used to be!!  :'(
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 13, 12, 12:15:22 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-12-13at10120PM.png&hash=57607a3238df904484ccc1f953b0be0b)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-12-13at10126PM.png&hash=40f12ecb96e28e22ddf10a4ca463928d)
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(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-12-13at10000PM.png&hash=6dfed7dd8d4d0a3548af540ad11e91df)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-12-13at125157PM.png&hash=fba4382ab8f9bf8197b699b779fc0fd2)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-12-13at125838PM.png&hash=d8305119257a22d52e28d53d25c36a83)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1238.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff482%2FDoreen_Kirley%2FScreenshot2012-12-13at124349PM.png&hash=f3e05675d7129961a418ec179de0aeb3)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Dec 13, 12, 12:36:30 PM
Good ones loony...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Dec 13, 12, 01:55:57 PM

               Good job loony. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Dec 13, 12, 02:25:00 PM
Good ones.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 13, 12, 08:46:39 PM

not with us............Muzzel loader 1 BANG       ML2      BANG......Afew mins later.......BANG      BANG
This better!!  ;D
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F534116_440505949342285_562507329_n.jpg&hash=575ca08723c12da06b0419cd14ec47c4)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 13, 12, 09:13:01 PM
yes maineduckless.............it is better
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: eyehi on Dec 13, 12, 10:10:40 PM
This better!!  ;D
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F534116_440505949342285_562507329_n.jpg&hash=575ca08723c12da06b0419cd14ec47c4)
This is one of the best ones i have seen  8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Spikes on Dec 14, 12, 04:36:11 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1051.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fs431%2FDowneastah4%2F399312_10151354561990797_1061688321_n_zps83ffb362.jpg&hash=81c3fc8c78d03e0229a1bf6e8dcd705f)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 17, 12, 07:49:51 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F32410_455495641177017_595606534_n.jpg&hash=fd598242435f0fae4637ecebde379f48)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 20, 12, 09:27:06 AM
Took me a second to get this one.... ;D
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F312562_10152362277610529_332073850_n.png&hash=a72d66d14faf5ee52d7516740d1d7d42)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Dec 20, 12, 09:33:06 AM
Haha good one MDH...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 20, 12, 11:58:30 AM
love it...lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Dec 20, 12, 12:04:39 PM
(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/393100_504452476253040_497986535_n.jpg)


(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/380741_10151187393188564_1552725331_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 20, 12, 12:06:12 PM
lol phew I thought we were doooooomed
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: peddler on Dec 20, 12, 12:55:37 PM
The Mayans did that calendar because they knew Obama was going to be re-elected !!!!!

Peddler  8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Dec 20, 12, 01:54:37 PM
Wife's Diary....Husband's Diary


Wife's Diary:

  Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made
  plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was
  shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was
  upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no
  comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested
  that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but
  he didn't say much.

  I asked him what was wrong; He said, "Nothing." I asked him
  if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't
  upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry
  about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He
  smiled slightly, and kept driving.

  I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say,
  "I love you, too." When we got home, I felt as if I had lost
  him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me
  anymore. He just sat there quietly and watched TV. He
  continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence
  all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes
  later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was
  distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell
  asleep -- I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure
  that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a
  disaster.


  Husband's Diary:

  Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 600RevX on Dec 20, 12, 02:00:30 PM
 ;D HaHa!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Dec 20, 12, 02:12:51 PM
Haha yeah I have heard that one hunt..hilarious.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Dec 20, 12, 05:41:05 PM
OMG! It's been a h*ll of a day and I needed a good laugh. Thanks MDH, Chucker, and hunt; you didn't let me down!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Dec 21, 12, 07:28:28 AM
A good sign that hunting season is over...

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi588.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fss324%2Fhuntny30%2FSeasonover.jpg&hash=49d4f1bcba41b53e788103c5c44646f1)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 21, 12, 07:35:23 AM
love it....thanks for sharing
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Dec 21, 12, 07:40:25 AM
A good sign that hunting season is over...

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi588.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fss324%2Fhuntny30%2FSeasonover.jpg&hash=49d4f1bcba41b53e788103c5c44646f1)

haha nice hunt...GO PACKERS!

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Dec 21, 12, 09:19:06 AM
A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed. As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do.
 
Because she was so worried, she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was. In a calm voice, the husband said "Honey, you remember the jewellery store we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"
 
The wife choked up and started to cry and said "Yes, I remember that jewellery store". He said "Well, I'm in the bar right next to it".
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: NYSporty on Dec 21, 12, 09:27:40 AM
I was driving home from shopping last night and this girl went by me texting on her phone.
Well it made me so mad at the next redlight I rolled down my window and through my half full beer at her car. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Dec 21, 12, 09:22:41 PM
Not sure it's filed under humor, but I laughed. Don't pick a fight with a guy older than you assuming he won't fight back, and beat you down  ;D.

http://youtu.be/jjjObYp-P-E (http://youtu.be/jjjObYp-P-E)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mookie on Dec 21, 12, 09:28:20 PM
Not sure it's filed under humor, but I laughed. Don't pick a fight with a guy older than you assuming he won't fight back, and beat you down  ;D.

http://youtu.be/jjjObYp-P-E (http://youtu.be/jjjObYp-P-E)
I love that one lol  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: eyehi on Dec 21, 12, 10:16:34 PM
Pinky didnt think that one thru....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Dec 22, 12, 06:13:04 AM
I liked it also  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 23, 12, 04:12:00 PM
Awesome video.    Funny
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: The RodFather on Dec 25, 12, 09:45:07 AM
Hahaha this is all some really funny stuff!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Dec 29, 12, 10:36:35 AM
(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/23409_10151581205872166_1128885746_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: The RodFather on Dec 29, 12, 10:39:29 AM
That is funny it is like those commercials about dose xx. Good one chucke.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Dec 29, 12, 01:31:01 PM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: HARVEST BOON on Dec 29, 12, 04:35:48 PM
Good stuff Chucker!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Dec 29, 12, 04:38:26 PM
Nice one Chucker  hehehe :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Dec 29, 12, 10:31:45 PM

          Chucker, you are the most interesting man in the world. ha ha  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Dec 31, 12, 07:29:01 AM
Good one chucker...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Dec 31, 12, 10:53:22 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-prn1%2F47673_10152346356285034_1122010655_n.jpg&hash=db12d072bb6fc8281cb59ae1b2915d14)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Dec 31, 12, 02:08:22 PM
hehehe Nice JJ ; I like my plump chicken  :P :P
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Dec 31, 12, 03:43:55 PM
Saw this on FB and figured I'd share.

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-snc7%2F418645_531737710178478_2127408562_n.jpg&hash=eda5fa10214d40e8a7f83cc2814ed33a)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Dec 31, 12, 03:54:53 PM
Lol so did I.....--
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Jan 02, 13, 09:15:26 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-snc6%2F178965_565434430148636_1130418957_n.jpg&hash=f25dc41e67ec72b20757160a6adf4751)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 03, 13, 03:58:42 AM
Hehehehe nice Steve  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 03, 13, 04:12:20 AM

           I like that 1 Steve. ;)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mschott on Jan 04, 13, 01:55:17 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi644.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fuu168%2Fmschott00%2FIMG950345.jpg&hash=82eb96841ccbd81d942c7aef086509d4)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Jan 04, 13, 01:58:14 PM
Good one.....   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Jan 04, 13, 03:24:01 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi644.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fuu168%2Fmschott00%2FIMG950345.jpg&hash=82eb96841ccbd81d942c7aef086509d4)

Hahahaha good one man.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Jan 04, 13, 03:36:19 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-snc6%2F178965_565434430148636_1130418957_n.jpg&hash=f25dc41e67ec72b20757160a6adf4751)
LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Jan 08, 13, 10:03:44 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F64982_10151177679531059_2074145567_n_zps7ce14f26.jpg&hash=ac702f0f8cd92b46cd3e4c43ca8b6c40)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Jan 13, 13, 08:31:54 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassets.amuniversal.com%2F2788d3703a3e01300bde001dd8b71c47%3Fwidth%3D900.0&hash=61fdb02dc6e233c07d2a1dc7314cffcb)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 13, 13, 03:44:22 PM
hehehe Nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 13, 13, 04:52:44 PM


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fthin-ice1.gif&hash=661e5256edc181e22e696a6491e63d2e)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Jan 14, 13, 06:26:49 AM
Funny....Was thinking about Tyler yesterday...he wants to get fishing bad......but don't worry to much about him going on unsafe ice....he watched me go in one morning walking out....went through a live well....covered with snow....scared the crap out of him....I wasn't skeered at allll..... ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Jan 14, 13, 06:36:25 PM
(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/37097_10151184572771954_1677177842_n.jpg)



Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jan 14, 13, 06:50:12 PM
Can you get the Irish flu shot daily
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Jan 14, 13, 06:51:54 PM
If an apple a day works, why not?
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Jan 15, 13, 08:09:08 AM
 On his 74th  birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.
> The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby
> reservation
> who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile
> dysfunction.   After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation,
> handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for.
>  The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder,
> warned,
> "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and
> then say '1-2-3.'"   When you do, you will become more manly than you
> have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."
> The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How
> do I stop the medicine from working?"   "Your partner must say
> '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not
> work again until the next full moon."   He was very eager to see if it
> worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the
> medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.   When
> she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"  Immediately,
> he was the manliest of men.   His wife was excited and began throwing
> off her clothes and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"   And
> that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a
> preposition,
> because we could end up with a dangling participle.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 15, 13, 10:26:32 AM

         LMAO, Scott. Good 1
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Cornbread on Jan 15, 13, 01:48:38 PM
A woman came to a preacher that was awful looking. Her hair was all torn up, she was overweight and looked terrible. she said, "Oh, Reverend, what can I do? My husband has started to drink."

The preacher looked at her and said, "Madam, if I was married to you I'd start drinking too."


************************************************

Ole  was talking about his marriage to his friend, Sven.  You know, Sven, I never knew what happiness was until I got married, then it was too
late.

************************************************

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?""
The mother replied, "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

************************************************

"So, Ole, I see you got a sign up that says, 'Boat For Sale.' But you don't own a boat, Ole. All you got is your old John Deere tractor and your combine." "Yup, and der boat for sale."

************************************************

Sven and Ole went out duck hunting, and they worked at it for a couple hours and finally Sven says: "I wonder why aren't we getting any ducks, Ole?" "I don't know. I wonder if we're throwing the dog high enough?"

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Jan 15, 13, 03:18:19 PM
Nice ones Cornbread...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 16, 13, 03:54:11 AM
Nice ones Cornbread...

Luke
That works for me corn bread hehehe....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jan 16, 13, 04:58:20 PM

Venison vs. Beef: The controversy is FINALLY settled..!

 Controversy has long raged about the relative quality and taste of venison and beef as gourmet foods. Some people say venison is tough, with a strong "wild" taste. Others insist venison's flavor is delicate. An independent food research group was retained by the Venison Council to conduct a taste test to determine the truth of these conflicting assertions once and for all.

First, a Grade A Choice Hereford steer was chased into a swamp a mile and a half from a road and shot several times. After some of the entrails were removed, the carcass was dragged back over rocks and logs, and through mud and dust to the road. It was then thrown into the back of a pickup truck and driven through rain and snow for 100 miles to the nearest bar. After several hours of "bragging time", it was transported to a tree behind a house where it hung out in the sun for a day.

It was then lugged into a garage where it was skinned and rolled around on the greasy floor for a while. Strict sanitary precautions were observed throughout the test, within the limitations of the butchering environment. For instance, dogs and cats were allowed to sniff and lick the steer carcass, but most of the time were chased away, along with the pesky flies, when they attempted to bite chunks out of it.

Next, a sheet of plywood left from last year's butchering was set up in the basement on two saw horses. The pieces of dried blood, hair and fat left from last year were scraped off with a wire brush last used to clean out the grass stuck under the lawn mower.

The skinned carcass was then dragged down the steps into the basement where several inexperienced but enthusiastic and intoxicated men worked on it with meat saws, cleavers, hammers and dull knives while watching a football game on a small TV. The result was 375 pounds of soup bones, four bushel baskets of meat scraps, three badly cut and bleeding fingers, and a half dozen steaks that were an eighth of an inch thick on one edge and an inch and a half thick on the other edge.

The steaks were seared on a glowing red hot cast iron skillet to lock in the flavor. When the smoke cleared, rancid bacon grease was added, along with three pounds of onions, and the whole conglomeration was fried for twenty more minutes.

The meat was gently teased from the frying pan and served to three intoxicated and blindfolded taste panel volunteers. Every member of the panel thought it was venison. One volunteer even said it tasted exactly like the venison he has eaten in hunting camps for the past 27 years.

The results of this scientific test conclusively show that there is absolutely no difference between the taste of beef and venison...!!
 



Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Jan 16, 13, 08:00:25 PM
that just sounds to gross to eat............I might be changing to vegin if I have to eat that..................URGH
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Jan 17, 13, 03:31:30 PM
Lol! That must be true, 'cause I just read it on the internet!!  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Jan 18, 13, 07:48:56 AM
Lol! That must be true, 'cause I just read it on the internet!!  ;D
everything you find on the internet is true.......... :-X
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Jan 18, 13, 07:56:18 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fic.pics.livejournal.com%2Fbabydoc3%2F9337123%2F11965%2Foriginal.png&hash=8414fcbe00d89056aa603898f49d1388)

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Jan 18, 13, 11:40:46 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fic.pics.livejournal.com%2Fbabydoc3%2F9337123%2F11965%2Foriginal.png&hash=8414fcbe00d89056aa603898f49d1388)

Luke

LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Jan 18, 13, 06:43:29 PM
I'm not sure if this one is funny or depressing...

(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/66421_560307160665172_36377241_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Jan 18, 13, 07:52:17 PM
But it holds seven shots at getting it right.....to bad they can't shoot....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 19, 13, 02:43:53 AM


                     (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F317965_526480757372966_1705324368_n.jpg&hash=32479b9b9c01f02a68c37d25918238e0)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 19, 13, 06:50:50 AM
(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/37097_10151184572771954_1677177842_n.jpg)


  Hehehehe   Bet  I remember to take my flu shot now  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: peddler on Jan 19, 13, 07:59:56 AM
  Hehehehe   Bet  I remember to take my flu shot now  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

A little Jameson " NEET "

Peddler  8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 20, 13, 08:11:03 AM
         This is pretty cool. 8)  My father had a saying "Don't believe anything you hear, & only half of what you see"
                  http://www.youtube.com/v/Uh0CMcLiRkw%26feature%3dshare (http://www.youtube.com/v/Uh0CMcLiRkw%26feature%3dshare)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Jan 20, 13, 10:01:32 AM
Wow! Cool card trick.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Jan 20, 13, 02:48:34 PM
(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/487197_10151166213276710_1535347243_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jan 21, 13, 10:39:30 PM
TOP-11 "ONLY IN AMERICA " OBSERVATIONS -- BY A CANADIAN*

1) Only in America could the rich people - who pay 86% of all income taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all.

2) Only in America could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General, and roughly 18% of the federal workforce is black while only 12% of the population is black

3) Only in America could they have had the two people most responsible for our tax code, Timothy Geithner, the head of the Treasury Department and Charles Rangel who once ran the Ways and Means
Committee, BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

4) Only in America can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

5) Only in America would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege while we discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just 'magically' become
American citizens.

6) Only in America could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country's Constitution be thought of as "extremists."

7) Only in America could you need to present a driver's license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

8) Only in America could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company
( Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).

9) Only in America could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year - for total spending of $7-Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn't have nearly enough money.

10) Only in America could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 a plate campaign fund-raising event.

11) Only in America can a man with no background, no qualifications and no experience ... and a complete failure at his job ... be reelected.


I'm not sure this is really funny. >:( ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Jan 22, 13, 05:16:30 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi267.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fii311%2Fphrotojoe%2Fgun1.jpg&hash=96c1f63bfd4c9702abe47fe72750470c)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Jan 22, 13, 05:40:39 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi267.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fii311%2Fphrotojoe%2Fgun1.jpg&hash=96c1f63bfd4c9702abe47fe72750470c)

Too bad they're not pointing the other way, and some of them were left loaded   ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 22, 13, 06:24:44 AM
Too bad they're not pointing the other way, and some of them were left loaded   ::)
X-2   Should be that way for sure ....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Jan 22, 13, 06:45:40 AM
The only funny thing about the Chinese photo is that today the U.S. spends over half of it's money to them.....so as they burn guns to keep people from taking over the government, they are laughing all the way to the bank...with your money...
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Jan 22, 13, 12:33:36 PM
makes me sick too.........we need those back here where they will be put to good use......
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 22, 13, 07:23:20 PM

      (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fsecuredownload-3.png&hash=246df8618c5fa2980e682834d18afa60)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: tubeslinger on Jan 22, 13, 07:37:51 PM
Good one!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hunts2long on Jan 22, 13, 07:57:18 PM
      (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fsecuredownload-3.png&hash=246df8618c5fa2980e682834d18afa60)
I knew things were improving. Twenty missed work for the Million Man March a few years ago...hunts2long
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: eyehi on Jan 22, 13, 09:37:38 PM
      (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fsecuredownload-3.png&hash=246df8618c5fa2980e682834d18afa60)
Lmao...... Nice one......
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Jan 22, 13, 09:39:19 PM
I knew things were improving. Twenty missed work for the Million Man March a few years ago...hunts2long
LOL I wont comment but trust me I know what you mean. ;)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jan 23, 13, 10:14:55 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ash3%2F601302_524151437619320_1151692900_n.jpg&hash=5a7fa7d87c99fcf8fd13cad239fb6c4f)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Otto on Jan 24, 13, 08:22:01 AM
A guy asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"
The girl replied with a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed.  After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said:
"I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"
The guy then responded with a loud voice. "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? ARE YOU CRAZY?!"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered in her ear:  "I study law, and I know how to screw people".
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mookie on Jan 24, 13, 08:23:34 AM
A guy asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"
The girl replied with a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed.  After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said:
"I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"
The guy then responded with a loud voice. "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? ARE YOU CRAZY?!"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered in her ear:  "I study law, and I know how to screw people".
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jan 24, 13, 08:37:48 AM
so true
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 24, 13, 01:26:52 PM
Right on with that  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 24, 13, 04:33:39 PM

            Good 1 Otto, ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Jan 24, 13, 06:19:59 PM
Just occurred to me... Know why you don't hear a lot from Obama supporters on the internet....????
 
He hasn't hooked up the free internet in the subsidized home..and the free cell phone isn't 4G....There has been some trading of food stamps to lobbyists to try to help this program along....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Jan 24, 13, 07:05:53 PM
(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/424572_409323875819184_219853897_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Jan 24, 13, 07:51:21 PM
Made me laugh...had a young man in the store today in shorts....asked him if the draft was causing frozen nuggets....got a huh???
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Jan 24, 13, 08:27:09 PM
I saw a guy walking on the road yesterday with no coat - just a backpack over his t-shirt.   :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Jan 28, 13, 05:40:34 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-prn1%2F397444_4225312347680_1409519997_n.jpg&hash=b15da5bb46c47c13e0f649fb4bcfeeeb)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Jan 28, 13, 05:26:47 PM
True Story--I went in Walmart to return a curtin rod,the girl at the counter was all upset telling another employee that she thinks a guys is going to return to the store and shoot them because of an Item they would not take back,then she told me the story-I asked her why don't all you employee's carry guns,she said no-oh no--then you wouldn't have nothing to worry about I said --and then i said I don't have to worry about that myself...!!!!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 28, 13, 05:33:35 PM

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=eryxAcsTcOA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=eryxAcsTcOA)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Jan 28, 13, 06:42:00 PM
(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/71819_10152448855815371_1821564674_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Jan 28, 13, 06:43:16 PM
haha Chucker that is good.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Jan 29, 13, 05:54:41 AM
It's all up to interpretation, right?  ;)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Jan 29, 13, 02:56:56 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi267.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fii311%2Fphrotojoe%2FMoron.jpg&hash=b93a8b8611b49908f9dbe048e5a40ae2)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jan 29, 13, 02:59:57 PM
would be real easy
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 29, 13, 03:52:54 PM
Nice Chucker
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Jan 30, 13, 06:19:03 AM
And as the delusional anti gun crowd would say...If they banned all us citizens from owning guns....they wouldn't need all those guns around them to protect them....next will be throwing knives....and sling shots.. ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jan 30, 13, 10:12:39 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ash3%2F537270_10151239067775911_2144533725_n.png&hash=a0adf55273a2e2d4f0f616ad20efae34)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: ramrod on Jan 30, 13, 10:16:11 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 30, 13, 10:28:26 AM



                  hehehehe 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Jan 30, 13, 01:10:30 PM
   After being married for thirty years, a wife asked

her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while, then said,
"You're an alphabet wife ..... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks ... "What the hell does that mean?"

He said,"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous,
and Hot".

She smiled happily and said ...
"Oh, that's so lovely, but what about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"
 ;D ;D
 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mookie on Jan 30, 13, 01:16:56 PM



    Good one  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 30, 13, 03:42:21 PM

           Yea Dom, that is a good 1, but how many men would really say that to their wife's face! ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Jan 30, 13, 03:57:13 PM
           Yea Dom, that is a good 1, but how many men would really say that to their wife's face! ::)


     Well I couldn't post the end of it about his doctors visit to see if he could get something reattached.... :o :o :o     ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Jan 30, 13, 05:09:28 PM
For peddler  ;)

(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/150963_333537290097069_1834421405_n.png)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Jan 31, 13, 09:06:58 AM
LOL this one cracks me up...anyone who has met my wife could see this...


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi588.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fss324%2Fhuntny30%2Fhaha.jpg&hash=122d9970c6030122e6a63cf68d705e3a)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: peddler on Jan 31, 13, 12:06:43 PM
For peddler  ;)

(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/150963_333537290097069_1834421405_n.png)

Chucker, I like it !!!!!

Peddler  :o :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Cornbread on Jan 31, 13, 01:16:28 PM
           Yea Dom, that is a good 1, but how many men would really say that to their wife's face!

I would, but then again I have been divorced twice :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: peddler on Jan 31, 13, 01:19:19 PM
I would, but then again I have been divorced twice :)

Me three !!!

Peddler  8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Jan 31, 13, 01:28:00 PM
I would, but then again I have been divorced twice :)

Not married here...but I will be at some point I am assuming...and I know I wouldn't be able to say it to her face...haha

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: peddler on Jan 31, 13, 01:45:52 PM
Not married here...but I will be at some point I am assuming...and I know I wouldn't be able to say it to her face...haha

Luke

Stay single if your that afraid of her, HO HO HO !!!

Peddler  8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jan 31, 13, 02:18:36 PM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Jan 31, 13, 02:49:06 PM
Stay single if your that afraid of her, HO HO HO !!!

Peddler  8) 8) 8)

hahahaha definitely not afraid of her...but don't want to be a jerk...haha

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Jan 31, 13, 03:12:11 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Xoe5Vjl90-o (https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Xoe5Vjl90-o)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Jan 31, 13, 03:26:34 PM
hahaha that is awesome.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 31, 13, 03:27:11 PM



                 heheheh  at least he got his coat washed   ; Good one Hunt  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jan 31, 13, 06:23:34 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-52hWBg_0HHI%2FTe-3laYY_SI%2FAAAAAAAAAH4%2FTBImJ6wxoAk%2Fs1600%2Ffunny-celebrity-ooh-a-dollar.gif&hash=b41379f8fe943b7a799c2eac377a74ca)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 31, 13, 06:40:27 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Xoe5Vjl90-o (https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Xoe5Vjl90-o)
             Sorry Scott, I posted that on the 28th.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Jan 31, 13, 06:42:00 PM
             Sorry Scott, I posted that on the 28th.

Ohhh didn't see it...I got it in my email and thought it was funny... :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 31, 13, 06:57:23 PM
Ohhh didn't see it...I got it in my email and thought it was funny... :o
            It's no big deal, I've done the same thing myself.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Jan 31, 13, 06:59:58 PM
            It's no big deal, I've done the same thing myself.

It is wrong... I unintentionally poached your comedy... ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 31, 13, 07:11:30 PM
It is wrong... I unintentionally poached your comedy... ;D
             Nah, it's hard to read everything that's on here.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: huntny30 on Jan 31, 13, 07:14:09 PM
             Nah, it's hard to read everything that's on here.

No Doubt...
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 31, 13, 07:28:03 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-52hWBg_0HHI%2FTe-3laYY_SI%2FAAAAAAAAAH4%2FTBImJ6wxoAk%2Fs1600%2Ffunny-celebrity-ooh-a-dollar.gif&hash=b41379f8fe943b7a799c2eac377a74ca)


            hehehe     Awesome JJ   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Feb 01, 13, 09:47:23 AM
Is that your imitation of yourself Mr Greenie
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 01, 13, 02:26:59 PM
Is that your imitation of yourself Mr Greenie
  Green stamps to be had , I go for them  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Feb 04, 13, 09:44:53 PM
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
 
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'
 
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'
 
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
 
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
 
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.
 
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
 
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
 
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides
 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Feb 04, 13, 10:13:44 PM
LOL very funny...."old married couple".....I resemble that.... :P
Title: 1st date conversation
Post by: Wyoming Larry on Feb 05, 13, 12:25:45 AM
A First Date Conversation

Lady: Do you drink?

Man: Yes

Lady: How much a day?

Man: 3 six-packs

Lady: How much per six-pack?

Man: about $10

Lady: And how long have you been drinking?

Man: 15 years

Lady: So 1 six-pack cost $10 and you have 3 six-packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800, correct?

Man: Correct

Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 a year, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years… that puts your spending at $162,000 correct?

Man: Correct

Lady: Do you realize that if you hadn't drank, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man: Do you drink?

Lady: No.

Man: Where's your Ferrari?
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 05, 13, 06:42:20 AM



       hehehe   ;D  Very good Nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Feb 06, 13, 11:17:21 AM
Funny Wyoming Larry. ;D



That's how the fight started ;D ;D


One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a

Christmas gift...The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.


When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the

gift I bought you last year!"


And that's how the fight started.....


______________________________ __


My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were

in bed.


I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'


'No,' she answered..


I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'


She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'


So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."


And that's when the fight started...


________________________________




I took my wife to a restaurant....The waiter, for some reason, took my

order first.


"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."


He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"


"Nah, she can order for herself."


And that's when the fight started.....


_______________________________



My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and

she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at

a nearby table.


I asked her, "Do you know him?"


"Yes", she sighed,


"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we

split up those many years ago, and I hear he

hasn't been sober since."


"Oh my!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that

long?"


And then the fight started...


________________________________



When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me

that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to

take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something

more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her

point.


When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,

busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing

scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the

house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her

a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as

well sweep the driveway.."


The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.


______________________________



My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.


She asked, "What's on TV?"


I said, "Dust."


And then the fight started...


________________________________



Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and

slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked the boat up to the van and

proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing

50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and

discovered that the weather would be bad all day.


I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into

bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation,

and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."


My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid

husband is out fishing in that?"


And that's how the fight started...


_______________________________



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about          3

seconds."


I bought her a bathroom scale.


And then the fight started......


______________________________



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for

Social Security.


The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify

my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at

home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go

home and come back later.


The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.


So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.


She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and

she processed my Social Security application.


When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the

Social Security office.


She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten

disability too.'


And then the fight started...


________________________________



My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not

happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old,

fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'


I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."


And then the fight started........


________________________________



I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!


The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up

at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'


So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'


That's how the fight started.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 06, 13, 11:35:33 AM

    hehehe   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Feb 06, 13, 12:10:40 PM
Haha nice drobs...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Feb 06, 13, 01:49:29 PM
all good ones
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Feb 06, 13, 02:14:09 PM
Lmao
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Feb 06, 13, 05:56:39 PM
During a recent morning mass in New York City, a little old Italian lady made her way to the front and out of character prayed rather loudly this.

Dear Lord, this has been a tough two or three years ...you have taken
my favorite actor Patrick Swayze, my favorite musician Michael
Jackson, my favorite salesman Billy Mays, my favorite actress
Elizabeth Taylor, my favorite singer Whitney Houston, and, now, my
favorite announcer Dick Clark. I just wanted you to know that my
favorite politician is Barack Obama.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 06, 13, 06:03:55 PM
During a recent morning mass in New York City, a little old Italian lady made her way to the front and out of character prayed rather loudly this.

Dear Lord, this has been a tough two or three years ...you have taken
my favorite actor Patrick Swayze, my favorite musician Michael
Jackson, my favorite salesman Billy Mays, my favorite actress
Elizabeth Taylor, my favorite singer Whitney Houston, and, now, my
favorite announcer Dick Clark. I just wanted you to know that my
favorite politician is Barack Obama.
             Good one Dave, LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Feb 06, 13, 06:19:56 PM
Oh ya--
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Feb 07, 13, 09:09:36 PM
Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years.

Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up,  firewood gathered, and  dinner cooking on the fire, sitting having a cold beer.
                                                         
"Shoot Ron, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"
                                                         
"Well, I've been here since last night.
Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked,  'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.

She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well she's been reading 50 Shades of Grey......

On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes!  She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I  did.   
                                                           
And then she said, "Do whatever you want."   
                                                           
So, Here I am!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Feb 08, 13, 05:36:25 AM
(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/604019_484864978215983_171735534_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Feb 08, 13, 06:11:13 AM
LOL.....always good to start the day with a chuckle...'er..... ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Feb 08, 13, 06:15:38 AM
Friend had this on FB.

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-snc7%2F600966_468764283182501_1950384276_n.jpg&hash=7aac471ba202050f1bc551dbe5da64a4)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: OTIS on Feb 08, 13, 07:03:23 AM
Utoh!  I'm wearing assault boots now!!! :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Feb 08, 13, 07:09:19 AM
Wait, I'm confused.....  Does that mean the WWII German jackboots I used to wear for re-enactments are OK now?
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 08, 13, 07:46:04 AM
 

                   Nice   hehehe     They will probably ban them with the Assault name in them
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Feb 08, 13, 07:49:42 AM
No more wearing Camo in public !!! whats next..
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Feb 08, 13, 07:55:06 AM
I'm actually wearing camo work boots right now. They take them off my cold dead feet  ;D.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Feb 09, 13, 05:40:50 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ash3%2F563046_488872211169524_763444395_n.jpg&hash=fb60adc187ffddaa8f4406999661eb13)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Feb 09, 13, 06:53:23 PM
Good luck getting a kid today to ride that around the yard.....I would have loved to have one of those when i was 11-12-13.....I had 6 lawns to mow every week....one yard was over two acres....with a garden to weed and take care of.....To do it the way the older ladies that lived there wanted, took 12-14 hours....but they paid well and had some awesome tea and cookies...LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: professor finessor on Feb 09, 13, 07:40:40 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 10, 13, 07:45:15 AM
Good luck getting a kid today to ride that around the yard.....I would have loved to have one of those when i was 11-12-13.....I had 6 lawns to mow every week....one yard was over two acres....with a garden to weed and take care of.....To do it the way the older ladies that lived there wanted, took 12-14 hours....but they paid well and had some awesome tea and cookies...LOL


   I Loved little old ladies back in the late 60 s & early 70 s  myself they sure new how to treat you to   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Feb 10, 13, 08:02:40 AM
Friend had this on FB.

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-snc7%2F600966_468764283182501_1950384276_n.jpg&hash=7aac471ba202050f1bc551dbe5da64a4)
LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 10, 13, 06:50:17 PM

           (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F543556_336660199785761_199951440_n.jpg&hash=6324ef19bebc9628954889eb9609cdf6)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Feb 10, 13, 10:02:02 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmmyhasptymouth.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F02%2Fhouse-thumb.jpg&hash=4053275534ac9e30b2ec65cc57054c6b)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chimo on Feb 11, 13, 04:31:35 AM
^^  Lmao!  Those newspaper clips are great! 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Feb 11, 13, 05:47:48 AM
I like the pullout text on the mausoleum one - "we had no idea anyone was buried there"   ::) ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: aquaassassin on Feb 11, 13, 06:03:17 AM
Lol!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: upstatehunter on Feb 11, 13, 06:14:48 AM
So comforting to know we are an educated mass.... :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 11, 13, 06:56:38 AM

                 ;D ;D 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 13, 13, 03:45:33 AM

              (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F72391_422202004532349_78034351_n.jpg&hash=b91fc233a5ed2e19eea468ffa2431fa4)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 13, 13, 06:31:48 AM

 

                 hehehe    Married guy's don't far to well   ;D ;D    Nice Jeff
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Feb 13, 13, 06:37:49 AM
LOL Good ones!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Feb 13, 13, 07:12:26 AM
hahaha I will keep that pic in mind 30-30...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: OTIS on Feb 14, 13, 07:20:58 AM
IT'S WORSE!  :-*
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Feb 15, 13, 08:50:48 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi247.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fgg137%2FdrobertsinMaryland%2F208469_124092524334821_100002022227646_180922_517576_n_zpsd2e3d91b.jpg&hash=71bf8a1b43302fbdb3e2802afcda8382)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Feb 17, 13, 08:43:32 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-snc7%2F426038_270571906407047_505252807_n.jpg&hash=0877e936b850f6be187709d76a7e1324)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: bucksnort on Feb 17, 13, 09:45:25 AM
buddy sent me this not sure if you already saw this but made me lmfao

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL0_urmlmOI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL0_urmlmOI)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Feb 17, 13, 10:31:13 AM
Good ones.

We use to go to Lancaster County, Pa. the land of the Amish and Mennonites.  Well... back in the day in my late teens a few friends and i use to go Yonnie bopping !!!  There are alot of Mennonites (Yonnies) that live in the northern part of the county and they very often ride bicycles as a mode of transportation.  I had a CJ5 Jeep then and would take the top off, get a broom stick wrap and tape a towel around the end of it and off we would go looking for our "victims".   Yonnie bopping consisted of driving around with our "weapon" ( broomstick)  until we found a Yonnie riding their bike along the roadside. we then would move in for the "kill" and ride up alongside of them and while on the fly smack them with the broomstick and knock them off their bikes.  We never did it to any women or girls though.  Our best day was 11 Yonnies.  It was hilarious back then looking back in the rearview mirror seeing them laying along the road, but now i see it as a real bonehead way of treating people and sorry i was ever a part of it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: peddler on Feb 17, 13, 10:53:14 AM
Good ones.

We use to go to Lancaster County, Pa. the land of the Amish and Mennonites.  Well... back in the day in my late teens a few friends and i use to go Yonnie bopping !!!  There are alot of Mennonites (Yonnies) that live in the northern part of the county and they very often ride bicycles as a mode of transportation.  I had a CJ5 Jeep then and would take the top off, get a broom stick wrap and tape a towel around the end of it and off we would go looking for our "victims".   Yonnie bopping consisted of driving around with our "weapon" ( broomstick)  until we found a Yonnie riding their bike along the roadside. we then would move in for the "kill" and ride up alongside of them and while on the fly smack them with the broomstick and knock them off their bikes.  We never did it to any women or girls though.  Our best day was 11 Yonnies.  It was hilarious back then looking back in the rearview mirror seeing them laying along the road, but now i see it as a real bonehead way of treating people and sorry i was ever a part of it.

Drobs, I think we can all say something along those lines and it takes a man to admit his mistakes Well said.

Peddler
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hunts2long on Feb 17, 13, 01:38:34 PM
So you were the one....lol....hunts2long
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Feb 17, 13, 03:43:07 PM
The day after his wife disappeared In a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.
 
"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife", said one of the troopers.
 
"Tell me! Did you find her?", Wilkens exclaimed.
 
The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"
 
Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."
 
The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay ."
 
"Oh my God!", exclaimed Wilkens.
 
Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"
 
The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five-pound king crabs and 6 good-sized Dungeness crabs clinging to her, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."
 
Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, then what the He||'s the great news?"
 
The trooper replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Feb 17, 13, 08:33:51 PM
Thanks Peddler. I really do feel bad about that now. Sometimes you wish you could go back and change things but that I can not. :(

Good one Raquette. ;D ;D Wonder what they get tomorrow. hehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 18, 13, 03:26:23 AM



       Nice one Dom  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 18, 13, 03:53:45 AM

        Excellent one Dom. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Feb 20, 13, 12:32:31 PM
Last week I purchased a burger at a fast food restaurant for $1.58. The counter girl
 took my $ 2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my
 pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3
 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register.
 
I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters,
 but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the
 transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the
 1950s:
 
1. Teaching Math In 1950s
 
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5
 of the price. What is his profit?
 
2. Teaching Math In 1960s
 
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5
 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
 
3. Teaching Math In1970s
 
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
 $80. Did he make a profit?
 
4. Teaching Math In 1980s
 
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80
 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
 
5. Teaching Math In 1990s
 
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
 inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
 preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20.
 What do you think of this way of making a living?
 
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the
 birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no
 wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok. )
 
6. Teaching Math In 2009
 
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la
 producciones es $80. Cuanto
 dinero ha hecho?
 
7. Teaching Math In 2013
 Who cares, just steal the lumber from your rich neighbor's property. He
 won't have a gun to stop you, and it's OK anyway cuz it's redistributing
 the wealth.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Feb 20, 13, 12:48:05 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Feb 20, 13, 01:36:14 PM
Another good one CAPTJJ.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 24, 13, 06:12:33 AM

        A woman goes into Wal-mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-mart associate standing there with dark glasses on. She asks, "Excuse me sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am I'm blind, but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it all on the counter anyway.

He said "That's a 6' graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It's a good all around rod and reel, and it's $20." She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for, so I'll take it."

He walks behind the counter to the register. And in the meantime, the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed, but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was she. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."

She asks, "But didn't you say it was $20?"

He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20, the duck call is $3, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!"

   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 24, 13, 06:26:49 AM
                   ;D ;D;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: peddler on Feb 24, 13, 06:31:53 AM
 :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o :o

Peddler  8)  8)  8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Feb 24, 13, 08:25:58 AM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Feb 25, 13, 10:57:47 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-prn1%2F11418_242199149250197_1863276427_n.jpg&hash=080bc396fbfbfad40ee568807a95f0d6)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Feb 25, 13, 05:49:49 PM
Funny CaptJJ. ;D

A Muslim, communist, and a illegal alien went into a bar. The bartender then said "Hello Mr. President".
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 02, 13, 06:18:14 PM
Red Neck Stew
 
The US Department of the Interior had to change the wording on the metal bands they used to tag migratory birds. Seems these bands used to have the address of the Washington Biological Survey abbreviated as "Wash. Biol. Surv." One day they received a letter from a hunter in Alabama:
 
Dear Sirs:
 Last week I shot one of your birds. It might have been a crow. I followed the cooking directions on the leg tag. Let me tell you, It was AWFUL!
 
The bands are now marked "Fish and Wildlife Service."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 03, 13, 06:02:31 AM


                 8)   Nice JJ ; I got to get me one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 03, 13, 09:47:32 AM
            Fishing with a hand granade!
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F184460.gif&hash=e4fa37cf7ad9d28585831eccdcb94209)
Through it! Don't drop it!-Dumb ass!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Mar 03, 13, 09:49:33 AM
OMG.......  Rocket scientists...     :o :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Mar 04, 13, 05:50:33 AM
They obviously didn't figure out the three second fuse, either  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 04, 13, 03:42:06 PM
Got me some rims and low profiles:

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwhitetrashrepairs.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F03%2F8208.jpg&hash=f42afce9d3a1fd55d16a2ca19855d311)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Mar 04, 13, 06:14:24 PM
(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/62451_558299770857705_661850267_n.png)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Mar 04, 13, 07:12:08 PM
Funny stuff fellas. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 04, 13, 11:34:41 PM

            Hillbilly Birth...
 
Deep in the back woods, of Letcher County Kentucky, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, 'Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!'
 
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. 'Whoa there', said the doctor, 'Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think theres another one coming.'
 
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. 'Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!' Said the doctor.
 
Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby 'No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems theres yet another one coming!' cried the doctor.
 
The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, 'You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?'
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 05, 13, 04:02:37 AM





        Nice guy's  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 05, 13, 10:34:12 AM


            Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all.

One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages However, he wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
 
And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
 
 
 
 
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.

He got an A.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Mar 05, 13, 10:44:24 AM
haha good ones guys...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 05, 13, 12:46:40 PM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Mar 05, 13, 02:02:02 PM
Redneck Door Bell..

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi415.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp237%2Fraquettedacker%2FRaquettedackers%2520album%25202%2Freneck_doorbell1_zpsdc2e696f.jpg&hash=84ab24f62e6f4c9ff5de8b40bf551ef0)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi415.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp237%2Fraquettedacker%2FRaquettedackers%2520album%25202%2Fredneckdate1_zps12a64deb.jpg&hash=8d148219ee8bf51cd06f70ee7f317749)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi415.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp237%2Fraquettedacker%2FRaquettedackers%2520album%25202%2Fredneck20cell20phone1_zps36004e7a.jpg&hash=232a6e6d509cf998a29069af3846a6db)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi415.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp237%2Fraquettedacker%2FRaquettedackers%2520album%25202%2Fredneck_weather_station1_zps335c2326.jpg&hash=2433d9b5b194063a3dcf121f080011c1)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi415.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp237%2Fraquettedacker%2FRaquettedackers%2520album%25202%2Fredneck_mailbox1_zps07443b43.jpg&hash=50eeb57184ffef849c9b61c473008a8a)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 05, 13, 02:32:42 PM
like them all
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 05, 13, 04:00:12 PM

                Great ones Dom! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 05, 13, 04:52:23 PM



       Love them DOM   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Mar 05, 13, 08:18:29 PM
I want the doorbell......lmao......lol.....make me one dirty old man
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: eyehi on Mar 05, 13, 08:20:19 PM
Good stuff dom !
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 06, 13, 08:24:24 AM


An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
 
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
 
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water.
 
The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. The friend saw everything but did not say a single word.
 
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"
 
"I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 06, 13, 04:01:44 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi267.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fii311%2Fphrotojoe%2Fnra2-1.jpg&hash=77ab47adefe93f0c2df6e4c6d338912c)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi267.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fii311%2Fphrotojoe%2Fnra.jpg&hash=68ed0c272a473fa9e69de416581006b7)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 06, 13, 04:50:02 PM
Well said Joe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 06, 13, 05:17:02 PM
Well said Joe



  X=2   Numbers nobody wants you to now about ...
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Mar 07, 13, 06:29:57 AM
BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR THEY LET IN THE LIGHT!
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought
he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every damn minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck- is-the-room- spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand
times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
  28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.   
29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Mar 07, 13, 09:45:11 AM
Good stuff guys. I just got that one in an email Raquette. ;D


I was hunting up in Oregon once and became "Temporarily orientationally challenged". After a couple of days, I ran out of food so I shot a medium sized bird. Turned out it was a Spotted Owl. After I ate it, a fish and game warden found me and promptly arrested me for killing a protected species.

I was taken before a local judge where I pleaded 'Guilty" with an explanation. I explained to the judge about being lost and hungry. Fortunately, he understood and dismissed the charge. As I was leaving, the judge asked me what it tasted like. I told him it was some where between a California Condor and a Bald Eagle.........*
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 09, 13, 07:18:50 PM

        (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fsecuredownload-6.jpg&hash=cc6d15a492531a5a8d6207a14a58b765)
        (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fsecuredownload-7.jpg&hash=be01a68867f691376248ccceff2ae997)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 09, 13, 09:53:03 PM



                  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Mar 10, 13, 07:27:56 AM
This was posted on shanty..  ;D
 
   (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JiYjgfp9GM)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 10, 13, 07:40:09 AM
This was posted on shanty..  ;D
 
   (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JiYjgfp9GM)


  hehehe   ;D ;D 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 10, 13, 07:53:22 AM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 10, 13, 07:27:43 PM

            That's funny Dom. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 11, 13, 06:00:47 PM
            That's funny Dom. ;D


 
  Did you find out what bait he wanted ; I say the yellow one think he is afraid  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Cornbread on Mar 11, 13, 06:39:38 PM
The kitchen jokes never get old :)


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Foccupy-woman-kitchen-protest-best-demotivational-posters_zps3ba2f789.jpg&hash=2a5bd20c3d3ab7be95877328fdd7ec1a)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Fdemotivational-posters-nice-try_zps1b4f97da.jpg&hash=630a52b5f070016046921f5f9b2c336c)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Fdemotivational-poster-e5sh8r7edv-LOOK-OVER-THERE_zpsb4bb9034.jpg&hash=f5b823246144446dd93d13a1bb7f6f9b)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Fdemotivational_nid_1912_zps7d6dd2e2.jpg&hash=fed5b0dd19d1ce33858590264992366d)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Mar 11, 13, 07:12:05 PM
The kitchen jokes never get old :)


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Foccupy-woman-kitchen-protest-best-demotivational-posters_zps3ba2f789.jpg&hash=2a5bd20c3d3ab7be95877328fdd7ec1a)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Fdemotivational-posters-nice-try_zps1b4f97da.jpg&hash=630a52b5f070016046921f5f9b2c336c)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Fdemotivational-poster-e5sh8r7edv-LOOK-OVER-THERE_zpsb4bb9034.jpg&hash=f5b823246144446dd93d13a1bb7f6f9b)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy27%2FAndyTheCornbread%2Fdemotivational_nid_1912_zps7d6dd2e2.jpg&hash=fed5b0dd19d1ce33858590264992366d)

thems fighteng words cornbread......lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 12, 13, 10:17:22 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-prn1%2F11718_620378144655374_1091781023_n.jpg&hash=b36be65a1f604e6c173a006c17d7bf8d)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Mar 13, 13, 06:47:53 AM
this is a good one capt.........he tax tax tax our snacks snacks snacks
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 13, 13, 09:03:28 AM

      He ran on the platform of CHANGE, & that's what he's doing changing America to a Socialist Democracy! >:(
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 14, 13, 06:31:12 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-prn1%2F11718_620378144655374_1091781023_n.jpg&hash=b36be65a1f604e6c173a006c17d7bf8d)







             ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: adkRoy on Mar 15, 13, 03:27:37 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi3.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy62%2FadkRoy%2Fdeer%2520pictures%2Fhunters_zps1ad9ba38.jpg&hash=db1d1029d77719dc6d9bd6e30cdbc805)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Mar 15, 13, 03:50:19 PM
Nice Roy lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Mar 15, 13, 04:12:08 PM
Good one.... ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: The 3Ps on Mar 15, 13, 04:53:52 PM
Know how to keep a blond busy for a few hours?...Just write please turn over on both side's of a piece of paper! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 16, 13, 07:03:12 AM





         Nice one Roy  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 16, 13, 07:17:35 AM
         
            That's it Roy, you got us all pegged. ha ha ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 16, 13, 11:00:43 AM
We still need paper  ;D : http://vimeo.com/61275290 (http://vimeo.com/61275290)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 16, 13, 11:20:06 AM

          Good JJ, she put him in his place! hehehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 16, 13, 11:30:55 AM

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FsecuredownloadCA2V7XKK.jpg&hash=8521871fee12c9702432b44689f9bd73)                                                                                                  Now that's a big ass balloon!!!”

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 16, 13, 11:52:32 AM
When I clicked on "NEW" the page went right to the last post and I could only see the top 1/3 of the picture till I scrolled down...... :o....... ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Mar 16, 13, 12:11:04 PM
Good ones. :)

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship. Little Sally led off. "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30" she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very good", said the teacher.
Little Debbie was next. "I sold magazines" she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events." "Very good, Debbie", said the teacher.


Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467", he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" Toothbrushes", said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes", echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?" "I found the busiest corner in town", said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample."


They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog poop!" Then I would say, "It is dog poop. Wanna buy a toothbrush? I used the President Obama method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it's free and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth."


Little Johnny got five stars for his assignment. Bless his heart
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 16, 13, 02:59:22 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fevolutionforum.info%2Fyabbfiles%2FAttachments%2Fhead_up_your_ass2_002.jpg&hash=030bc05df657fc66f4373ec552e04da7)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 16, 13, 03:28:48 PM


             That looks like it might be a fun ride Jeff  ;  With all that hot air    ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 17, 13, 07:13:10 AM
Jeff,,,can't stop laughin,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,;,;,;;,;;;;,;,,
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: bucksnort on Mar 17, 13, 08:15:32 AM
great stuff guys!! too funny!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Mar 19, 13, 08:07:38 AM
Another one from my friend off FB.

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ash4%2F320107_456946454382996_1349921686_n.png&hash=920086c801d79a8d41558644267891f9)

Obama goes to a school to talk to the kids and to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and Obama asks him his name.

"Stanley," responds the boy.

"And what is your question, Stanley?"

"I have 4 questions: First, why did you go to bed the night of the Benghazi raid and only talk to your cabinet one time when you KNEW Americans lives were on the line? Second, why are you President when we still have no clue where you were born? Third, what REALLY happened to all of the money you gave to green energy corporations that are now bankrupt? Fourth, if I don't do my homework I get punished ... why haven't you submitted a budget to Congress when the LAW says you were supposed to submit one by the first Monday in February?

Just then, the bell rings for recess. Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Obama says, "OK, now ... where were we? Oh, that 's right: question time. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.

"Steve," he responds.

"And what is your question,Steve?"

Actually, I have 6 questions. First, why did you go to bed the night of the Benghazi raid and only talk to your cabinet one time when you KNEW Americans lives were on the line? Second, why are you President when we still have no clue where you were born? Third, what REALLY happened to all of the money you gave to green energy corporations that are now bankrupt? Fourth, if I don't do my homework I get punished ... why haven't you submitted a budget to Congress when the LAW says you were supposed to submit one by the first Monday in February? Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And sixth, what the heck happened to Stanley?"

This story was posted by, Tom Riley, at: www.facebook.com/tom.riley.39904

Thanks Tom!

~ Tom R.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Mar 19, 13, 08:09:36 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FsecuredownloadCA2V7XKK.jpg&hash=8521871fee12c9702432b44689f9bd73)                                                                                                  Now that's a big ass balloon!!!”

thats not a big ass balloon....thats the burning bush!  :o :o :o ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 19, 13, 12:43:19 PM

thats not a big ass balloon....thats the burning bush!  :o :o :o ;D
[/quote]
            You're funny loony! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 19, 13, 04:01:19 PM




               ;D ;D hehehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Mar 19, 13, 05:13:08 PM
im awesome like that 30 30 and greenie....lol just fell out of me....lmao
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 19, 13, 05:30:06 PM
This is close.  ??? Any volunteers?  :o ;D

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.firstrespondernews.com%2FResources%2FPictures%2FNews%2FWeb%2FArticleImages_Thumb%2F121012125-B.jpg&hash=6911b4edeef5cbdd1b7f6a2efcfcd8c7)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Mar 19, 13, 05:50:39 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F179088_628197863872834_798773661_n_zpsd266f0fc.jpg&hash=9ab69a233974f8f999964cc5693df7db)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 19, 13, 06:06:25 PM
so cute
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 19, 13, 08:00:04 PM

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

 The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he 
entered it in the race again and it won again.

 The local paper read:

 PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

 The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity 
that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in 
any other race.

 The next day the local paper headline read:

 BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
 This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the 
Pastor to get rid of the donkey.

 The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby 
convent.

 The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the 
following headline the next day:

 NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.

 He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid 
of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:

 NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

 This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the 
Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains 
where it could run wild.

 The next day the headlines read:

 NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day.

 The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion
 can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.

 So be yourself and enjoy life.

 Stop worrying about everyone else's ass, "take-care of your own" 
you'll be a lot happier and live longer!



Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 19, 13, 08:03:56 PM
Always CYA. ;) ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 20, 13, 03:35:36 AM



         ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 20, 13, 07:11:08 AM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Mar 20, 13, 10:58:46 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F392923_350416178397909_1512248474_n_zps8d9a36b9.jpg&hash=63cbac4f746a689954880fe33ae676bf)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Mar 20, 13, 11:38:24 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F390188_427978953954354_1871622894_n_zps86082a95.jpg&hash=b163377581bbbfc971813434a9adcbb7)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Mar 20, 13, 11:40:53 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F390188_427978953954354_1871622894_n_zps86082a95.jpg&hash=b163377581bbbfc971813434a9adcbb7)

its call doescenties.....lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 20, 13, 04:12:52 PM
Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?" "No," the second guy says. "Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says. "Oh," says the second guy. A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?" "See what?" the second guy asks. "Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there." "Oh." A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?" By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!" And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 20, 13, 05:32:29 PM



     Hehehehe   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Mar 21, 13, 05:12:57 PM
(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/551942_10200432774133565_469751276_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 21, 13, 05:18:46 PM



                 OK I sure will ; that is WY I'm slicing one up right now    ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Mar 22, 13, 05:29:28 AM
(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/253709_10151325199971956_126558527_n.png)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Mar 22, 13, 06:42:27 AM
hahaha that is a good one.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 22, 13, 08:20:31 AM
might get crowded
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 22, 13, 05:15:53 PM
(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/253709_10151325199971956_126558527_n.png)



    hehehe You got me caught with that one  hehehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Mar 22, 13, 07:00:11 PM
I saw a similar one with a box trap with a jug of maple syrup inside  ;)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 22, 13, 09:50:21 PM
I saw a similar one with a box trap with a jug of maple syrup inside  ;)

That's for short Vermonters. :o ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 22, 13, 10:40:42 PM
From a CT newspaper:
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ash3%2F601318_4876075174893_293303526_n.jpg&hash=390e1fd639ff68ba13471f34053c7164)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 23, 13, 04:42:51 AM

            You know JJ Donald Martin is right, I have a rifle leaning in the corner behind my bedroom door, & it hasn't tried to kill me or my girlfriend once. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 23, 13, 03:01:45 PM

     
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
 
 
"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."
 
 
 
 
 
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine.
 
 
 
 
 
"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: drobertsinMaryland on Mar 23, 13, 03:31:05 PM
Funny stuff fellas.

Plumber camo. ;D
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi247.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fgg137%2FdrobertsinMaryland%2F525380_10151469522753827_389079505_n_zps473a4c21.jpg&hash=d5ad76873465321c0debd9882491bbbd)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 23, 13, 04:37:49 PM
almost looks reel. nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 23, 13, 05:14:22 PM
Don't need to see the part that is real. ::) ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Mar 24, 13, 06:15:15 AM
Rough translation on the shirt is "more attractive than you think"   8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 24, 13, 07:40:40 AM
That's for short Vermonters. :o ;D ;D



     hehehe I now I got those little short French legs  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 24, 13, 08:53:02 AM
     hehehe I now I got those little short French legs  ;D

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 24, 13, 10:56:31 AM
So fitting this year.  ;D

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ash4%2F2785_460037217403104_1454462718_n.jpg&hash=1c246da5d4c13d23b0e81c9308ed04bb)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 24, 13, 11:17:09 AM




              hehehe     Boy I sure like that one JJ   ;D   I'd comment farther but I can't    :-X :-X
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Mar 24, 13, 04:31:08 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi431.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fqq34%2Fhesseltine32%2F8A03D92E-84AD-438C-89FD-6C6E77B436B1-6465-000005253F01E386_zpse73dd933.jpg&hash=09e8dca56ccd05619590eada35cda3a2)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 25, 13, 04:12:24 AM





            ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Mar 25, 13, 07:29:04 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi431.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fqq34%2Fhesseltine32%2F3FAB1767-74EC-4014-8D78-BB8C23C3C14E-6988-000005ECD6BFE0DE_zpsb84ac8d4.jpg&hash=862c2dec8d97fcfb4c30aa1a507058aa)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Mar 26, 13, 06:39:16 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ash4%2F484736_523475277690713_108649138_n.jpg&hash=f43bc9cae39ad5ab1d3205923a0f5493)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Mar 27, 13, 06:19:47 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F601112_466645426741930_1728656778_n_zpsdd9ec184.jpg&hash=3b0dee93608fc56cc0665dccd33cd941)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 27, 13, 06:12:35 PM




                 ;D   ;D   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Mar 27, 13, 07:30:14 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi431.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fqq34%2Fhesseltine32%2F09A9B80C-9683-44F7-B25F-CCDA4ED36D93-9046-000007736607BF4E_zps0fffbd54.jpg&hash=5a4cbe945b8e631ce55efde3eafcda53)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Apr 05, 13, 05:52:51 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F537164_454310084643276_1967632722_n_zps53c94382.jpg&hash=759869676f0dc95c1a8a3ece61a2ceb6)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Apr 05, 13, 09:48:26 AM
A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper. The Doctor asks: "What's the problem? The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason, and it scares me." The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that.

When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or goes to bed and falls asleep.

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor, looking fresh and reborn. The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water.

I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?" The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick..."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 05, 13, 03:45:35 PM



       hehehe    Nice     ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Apr 05, 13, 03:56:45 PM
lol that is steriotypically bad.........................lmao
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 06, 13, 01:15:34 PM

   An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Apr 06, 13, 01:34:25 PM
Good one.... ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Apr 06, 13, 02:28:02 PM
Haha good one 30-30
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 06, 13, 05:26:06 PM



                     :) :)  Nice   Jeff
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Apr 06, 13, 05:49:30 PM
A Cowboy was going deer hunting.. His blonde wife said she was going with him.. That they never did anything together.. So, they went.. He put her in a stand by herself..
Later in the morning he heard her shoot.. He went over to her stand and she was pointing her rifle at a guy with a cowboy hat on..

The guy was telling her, Mamm, you can have the deer you shot.. I just want to take my saddle off of him!

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 07, 13, 05:31:57 PM

      Blonde paint job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 07, 13, 06:00:32 PM
nice 8) 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 08, 13, 11:35:31 PM

         Three blondes were sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden came up behind them, tapped one on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses." "But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river." The warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, he left. As soon as he was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?!"

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 09, 13, 04:19:33 AM




           ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Apr 09, 13, 11:11:14 AM
Nice 30-30 lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 11, 13, 09:20:50 PM
A blonde goes into a near by store and asks the clerk if she can buy the T.V. in the corner. The store clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day and asks the same thing, and again he said he doesn't serve blondes.
 
Frustrated, the blonde goes back home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
 
Sure the clerk would sell her the T.V. by now, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
 
To her astonishment, this clerk also says she doesn't serve blondes as well.
 
The blond asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I'm a blonde?"
 
The clerk looks at her and says, "That's not a T.V.- it's a microwave
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 12, 13, 04:05:38 AM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 12, 13, 03:37:07 PM

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,"I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked,"Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy!  I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband.

That's against the law!  I'll lose my license!  They'll throw both of us in jail!

All kinds of bad things will happen.   Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different.  You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

 

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Apr 12, 13, 03:38:22 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Apr 12, 13, 04:52:30 PM
Haha  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Apr 12, 13, 06:46:43 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F559584_350529165048431_44158385_n_zpsa09899b3.jpg&hash=c6d49e4274e4b3b57caafb7e2bd479b5) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/559584_350529165048431_44158385_n_zpsa09899b3.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Apr 12, 13, 06:59:50 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F554990_612785302083812_1985028416_n_zps01b87750.jpg&hash=8ffbfd7baf62d08122ba083510c43d6f) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/554990_612785302083812_1985028416_n_zps01b87750.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 13, 13, 08:10:32 AM


              ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Apr 13, 13, 11:34:18 AM
Nice duck hunter
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Apr 14, 13, 11:37:40 AM
http://youtu.be/I03UmJbK0lA (http://youtu.be/I03UmJbK0lA)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 14, 13, 04:01:00 PM

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 15, 13, 03:14:47 AM
During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders. The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to his star football player, "You are such a big, burley guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman? She is no bigger than your hand." "That's right, Coach," replied the lineman. "But, she's much better!"

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 15, 13, 04:01:46 AM
hehe      ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Apr 15, 13, 12:33:26 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F554990_612785302083812_1985028416_n_zps01b87750.jpg&hash=8ffbfd7baf62d08122ba083510c43d6f) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/554990_612785302083812_1985028416_n_zps01b87750.jpg.html)

That's funny. ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 15, 13, 08:05:16 PM


                  Golf  Panties....

The Swede's wife steps up  to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind  blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

 

'Goodness,  woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?', Ole demanded.

'Well' she said, 'you don't give  me enough housekeeping money to afford any.'

The Swede  immediately reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency,  here's a 50. Go and buy yourself some  underwear..'

 

Next,  the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also  blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. 'Blessed Virgin Mary,  woman! You've no knickers Why not?'

 

She replies,  'I can't afford any on the money you give me.'

 

Patrick reaches into  his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 20. Go and buy  yourself some underwear"!

 

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife  bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she,  too, is naked under it.

 

'Sweet mudder of Jaysus,  Aggie! Where ta friggin hell are yer drawers?' She too explains, 'You dinna  give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.'

 

The Scotsman reaches  into his pocket and says, 'Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb....  Tidy yerself up a bit.'
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Apr 16, 13, 05:48:35 AM
Haha that's a good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 16, 13, 04:02:52 PM


A man was washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized they were stranded on a deserted island.

 After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds. The breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

 As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.

 But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

 A few weeks passed by and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze. Perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get those "feelings" again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn't had sex for months.

 Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

 He said, "take the dog for a walk."
 


 


 


 


 


 



 

 

 
 
 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 16, 13, 04:25:40 PM
Like it. :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 16, 13, 05:17:28 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Apr 16, 13, 07:45:17 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F537995_10151544259702365_421349032_n_zpsc1582fd8.jpg&hash=4f3e87b369122a60ad0546d876009b67) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/537995_10151544259702365_421349032_n_zpsc1582fd8.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 17, 13, 08:02:29 AM
nice. :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 17, 13, 03:31:56 PM
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single
hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing
respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their
playing time standing up.

Roberts looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to tell the
wife?" They draw straws. Rippington, who is always a loser,
picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle,
don't make a bad situation any worse than it is.

"Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will ever
meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me."

Rippington walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door,
the wife answers, asks what he wants.

Rippington says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards."

She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!"

Rippington says, "I'll tell him."

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Apr 17, 13, 05:10:15 PM
HOW TO TELL TIME IN ITALIAN...      ::) ::) 8) 8)
 

  
 (http://youtu.be/mHyRCeKxhss)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 17, 13, 05:20:04 PM
HOW TO TELL TIME IN ITALIAN...      ::) ::) 8) 8)
 

  
 (http://youtu.be/mHyRCeKxhss)
             Now that's funny! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 17, 13, 05:23:48 PM
HOW TO TELL TIME IN ITALIAN...      ::) ::) 8) 8)
 

  
 (http://youtu.be/mHyRCeKxhss)
;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Apr 17, 13, 06:29:37 PM
Hahahahah that was awesome.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Apr 17, 13, 06:31:54 PM
That's funny right there
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Apr 17, 13, 06:36:54 PM
lol lol italian clock
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 18, 13, 01:44:40 PM
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.


 The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.


 At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: "How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 18, 13, 04:59:47 PM
ok  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 19, 13, 05:59:22 PM




 








The Gay Cowboy...
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.


For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick
up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.


Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."


He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.


"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told
and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."


(P.S. - I didn't see it coming, either)
 
 

 















 
   









Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Apr 19, 13, 06:28:48 PM
Haha  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 21, 13, 07:39:31 PM
             A young man tutored his sweetheart math,
 he thought of it as his mission,
 he kissed her once then once again and said
 "There, that's addition!"
 She took it upon herself to return the pleasant action,
 she kissed once and once again,
 smiled and said "and that's subtraction!"
 Now she'd learned the basics without too much complication,
 they kissed each other once, then twice,
 and said "that must be multiplication!"
 Meanwhile the young lady's father
 had this 'lesson' in his vision,
 he kicked that boy ten foot out the door and said
 "Then that is long division!"

Read more: http://www.ajokeaday.com/ChisteDelDia.asp#ixzz2R9FB8WRu
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 22, 13, 03:57:16 AM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Apr 23, 13, 11:19:21 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F44307_610118932348743_1889880291_n_zps77ee74d2.jpg&hash=dcc059357ffcb7fcfcc2b91929e5d8f3) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/44307_610118932348743_1889880291_n_zps77ee74d2.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 23, 13, 05:55:08 PM



I'm ready    ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 23, 13, 06:36:06 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F44307_610118932348743_1889880291_n_zps77ee74d2.jpg&hash=dcc059357ffcb7fcfcc2b91929e5d8f3) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/44307_610118932348743_1889880291_n_zps77ee74d2.jpg.html)
              Only on camera it is! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 23, 13, 08:10:48 PM

       Bill and Hillary Clinton go to a Yankees game together. They had VIP seats in the first row. All of a sudden, a secret service agent comes up to Bill and whispers in his ear. A few seconds later, Bill grabs Hillary and throws her out onto the field! The SS agent comes running back to Bill and says, "Mr. President, sir, I think you misunderstood me. I said throw out the first pitch."

   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Stuck-on-Seven on Apr 23, 13, 08:23:24 PM
A man is sunbathing on a nude beach when he sees a little girl coming, he quickly covers up with a towel. The little girl walks up and asks "Whats underneath the towel Mr." He replies "it's my pet bird" the little girl gives him a confused look and walks away. The man decides to take a little nap, when he wakes up he's in the hospital and the little girl is in his hospital room. He asks her "What happened to me, why am I in here?" The little girl replies, "Well while you were asleep I decided to check out your pet bird, and that was the nastiest, ungliest bird I've ever seen so I crushed its eggs, snapped its neck and lit its nest on fire!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 23, 13, 08:28:03 PM
The out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a lake near a tiny hamlet.

 The young wife, stunningly built, decides to give the local town folk a thrill by sun bathing in the nude.

 "That's OK with me, honey," says her husband. "I'll go get some wood for the fire."

 About thirty minutes later, the husband returns to the campsite and finds his wife in tears. One of her breasts has been painted green, the other red and her ass is blue.

 "What on earth happened to you dear?" he asks.

 "Some of those rednecks from town came over and told me they don't allow any nakedness around these parts. Then they gave me this paint job!"

 "Damn those trouble-makers! I'll fix them!" the husband shouts.

 He rides into town and finds the rednecks in a bar.

 "Who is the SOB who painted my wife red, green and blue!" he shouts.

 A huge redneck, about 6'-8," steps forward, a shotgun in his hand. "I did it," he bellows. "What you got to say about it?"

 The husband answers meekly, "I just wanted you to know the first coat of paint is dry."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 24, 13, 03:53:15 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 24, 13, 05:49:45 AM
 LAUGHED SO HARD I COULDN'T BREATHE!!!!

 After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

 Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart

 Dear Mrs. Woolf,

 Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":

 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
 minute intervals.

 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
 women's restroom.

 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
 voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of
 chips.

 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
 children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.

 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
 crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
 Emergency Medics were called.

 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

 10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

 11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly
 humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
 through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.

 And last, but not least:

 16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
 awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
 here.'

 One of the Staff passed out.

 I wonder if I'll have to go along on many more shopping trips?













Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 24, 13, 06:23:36 AM
1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, every day is even better.



2. F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind & body.



3. F***ing refreshes you.



4. After F***ing don't eat too much; go for more liquids.



5. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol level.



SO, REMEMBER ...



6. FISHING is good for your health and soul,
And may the Good Lord cleanse your FILTHY Mind!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: PSC13 on Apr 24, 13, 08:28:26 AM
Haha good one 30-30 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 24, 13, 06:14:20 PM

 

       hahahaah   You hit that  right on that one 30/30 , But I even found out from a 74 year old guy that it still get's
       R*** K Hard   So that means you still have a few more years a head of you old man     ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Buck Chaser on Apr 25, 13, 05:48:26 AM


       hahahaah   You hit that  right on that one 30/30 , But I even found out from a 74 year old guy that it still get's
       R*** K Hard   So that means you still have a few more years a head of you old man     ;D ;D ;D ;D
That's way to much info!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: OTIS on Apr 25, 13, 07:54:08 AM
Number 1, randomly putting condom and tampon boxes in other peoples shopping carts, has been a looooooong time favorite of mine.  Especially when I get to see them check out... 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 26, 13, 05:39:06 AM

               
The Wednesday night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand.

Puzzled, the pastor said, "I don't get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were  unable to make it to service because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer.

One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked. They're all safe..."

 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 27, 13, 05:51:36 AM
hehehe  Jeff   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Apr 30, 13, 12:17:46 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F321350_10151612021397931_1865270104_n_zps1e564c99.jpg&hash=14a72953e30b08cc01270466a200d7a1) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/321350_10151612021397931_1865270104_n_zps1e564c99.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Apr 30, 13, 04:01:22 PM
Haha nice duck hunter
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 30, 13, 05:42:29 PM





                       ;D ;D  Nice Nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hunts2long on May 01, 13, 09:51:36 PM
GLOVERSVILLE — Sno Cone Joe has been harassing rival Mr. Ding-A-Ling, city police say...This was in the local paper today......hunts2long
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 02, 13, 04:03:49 AM



    hehehe   It must be Mr. Sno Joes turn selling Snow cones being so nice out ; Must have thought nobody wanted Ring Dings     ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on May 02, 13, 06:06:28 AM
Just saw that on the news too ::).
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on May 02, 13, 09:06:37 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F270851_10152781043575273_69407229_n_zpsb4566693.png&hash=2cc6c63368821da146319c99c9dfab02) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/270851_10152781043575273_69407229_n_zpsb4566693.png.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 02, 13, 12:11:26 PM

        (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FthCAC9ZSND.jpg&hash=1a0ab493c6d4bb8a4084fb044b055671) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/thCAC9ZSND.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 02, 13, 05:54:24 PM





               You sure I'd shoot and ask ????     Later Jeff   ;D ;D               
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on May 03, 13, 12:46:38 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F11829_10151567106733486_85262369_n_zps2cc30c2c.jpg&hash=3bffb95efa78bae394fb35915edeb959) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/11829_10151567106733486_85262369_n_zps2cc30c2c.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 03, 13, 02:43:30 PM

          I see a lot of pain when she pulls the trigger! ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 03, 13, 05:34:14 PM
          I see a lot of pain when she pulls the trigger! ::)
   X-2    ButI sure would like helping her out before she did  :P :P
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 03, 13, 05:55:10 PM
Two avid hunters take a hunter's safety class in which they learn that the universal signal for an emergency is three shots in the air.
 Sure enough, on their next hunting trip the two men get lost.
 One says to the other, "What shall we do?"
 The other says, I know fire three shots in the air and someone may come to find us.
 He fires off three shots, and they wait two hours. No sign of help.
 What shall we do? Fire off three more shots. So he does. Three hours later there is no response and it is getting dark. The one says "Shall we try again?"
 The other says, "I guess not... I only have two arrows left...

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on May 03, 13, 08:39:00 PM
Two avid hunters take a hunter's safety class in which they learn that the universal signal for an emergency is three shots in the air.
 Sure enough, on their next hunting trip the two men get lost.
 One says to the other, "What shall we do?"
 The other says, I know fire three shots in the air and someone may come to find us.
 He fires off three shots, and they wait two hours. No sign of help.
 What shall we do? Fire off three more shots. So he does. Three hours later there is no response and it is getting dark. The one says "Shall we try again?"
 The other says, "I guess not... I only have two arrows left...
HA HA LOL!! I gotta remember that one!!  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 04, 13, 05:40:40 AM
hehehe     ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 04, 13, 06:34:32 AM

         Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms. Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask ” how did you catch those ?” Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing! So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try. They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend “hold my legs now Paddy”. Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. “pull me up, pull me up!!” Paddy asks ” do you have a fish Sean?”………… No replies Sean, “there’s a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!”
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 04, 13, 07:10:50 AM



           ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on May 04, 13, 10:11:20 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5xhcCOVpJY (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5xhcCOVpJY)

Thought of CP when I saw this.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 06, 13, 06:02:17 AM

        Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women:

 Boats only need their fluids changed every year.

 Boats curves never sag.

 Boats last longer.

 Boats don't get pregnant.

 You can ride a Boat any time of the month.

 Boats don't have parents.

 Boats don't whine unless something is really wrong.

 You can share your Boat with your friends.

 If your Boat makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.

 You only need to get a new belt for your Boat when the old one is really worn.

 If your Boat smokes, you can do something about it.

 Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have ridden.

 When riding, you and your Boat both arrive at the same time.

 Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have.

 Boats don't mind if you look at other Boats, or if you buy Boating magazines.

 If your Boat is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.

 You can have a beer while riding your Boat.

 You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Boat.

 You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Boat.

 You don't have to convince your Boat that you're a Boater and that you think that all Boats are equals.

 If you say bad things to your Boat, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.

 You can ride a Boat as long as you want and it won't get sore.

 Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Boat after you dump it.

 Boats always feel like going for a ride.

 Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater.

 Boats don't care if you are late.

 You don't have to take a shower before riding your Boat.

 It's always ok to use tie downs on your Boats.

 If your Boat doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.

 You can't get diseases from a Boat you don't know very well
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 06, 13, 05:46:07 PM



       ;D ;D ;D    Very very true
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 07, 13, 06:20:06 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1MASsKbWQs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1MASsKbWQs)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on May 07, 13, 08:24:34 AM
Very true
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: peddler on May 07, 13, 09:26:55 AM
GMH..... What do you get when you insert DNA into a Goat?













Banned from the petting zoo!!!

Peddler  8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on May 07, 13, 10:05:21 AM
GMH..... What do you get when you insert DNA into a Goat?

 Haha ;D




 






Banned from the petting zoo!!!

Peddler  8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 08, 13, 04:01:09 AM
GMH..... What do you get when you insert DNA into a Goat?













Banned from the petting zoo!!!

Peddler  8) 8) 8)


         Hahaha            Dang Santa's Village in 2 weeks  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on May 08, 13, 07:42:22 AM
Good one STKA!!  ;D  That could be made for iceshanty.com too!!  :P
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 08, 13, 05:03:18 PM
Good one STKA!!  ;D  That could be made for iceshanty.com too!!  :P



    X-2   That is just what a few of them need not mentioning any names
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 09, 13, 04:53:29 AM
    A guy went out hunting. He had all the gear, the jacket, the boots and the double-barreled shotgun. As he was climbing over a fence, he dropped the gun and it went off, a couple of pellets going right through the p..nis. Obviously, he had to see a doctor.

 When he woke up from surgery, he found that the doctor had done a marvelous job repairing it. As he got ready to go home, the doctor gave him a business card. "This is my brother's card. I'll make an appointment for you to see him."

 The guy says, "Is your brother a doctor?"
 "No," Doc replies, "he plays the flute. He'll show you where to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eyes."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on May 09, 13, 07:10:16 AM
nice :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 09, 13, 04:27:24 PM
A turkey was chatting with a bull.

 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.

 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

 The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

 The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

 Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

 He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

 Moral of the story:
 Bull crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..:D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 09, 13, 04:55:29 PM
   


           ;D ;D ;D  hehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on May 10, 13, 07:58:49 AM
A turkey was chatting with a bull.

 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.

 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

 The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

 The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

 Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

 He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

 Moral of the story:
 Bull crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..:D

That one is awesome 30-30.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 10, 13, 10:12:17 AM
That one is awesome 30-30.
            Thanks, I try to please! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 10, 13, 04:20:59 PM



                 I think they looking to cross Br**d       ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 11, 13, 09:50:39 AM
http://ls1tech.com/forums/texas-members/1396525-arrogance-authority-funny-story-joke.html (http://ls1tech.com/forums/texas-members/1396525-arrogance-authority-funny-story-joke.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on May 11, 13, 11:01:51 AM
That's a good one 30-30
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 11, 13, 12:46:37 PM
Nice Jeff   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 11, 13, 04:48:01 PM

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day!

This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich. He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"

She said "I love it but I have to stop eating it."

"Why?" he asked.

She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"

"Let me see" he said.

"Okay! " and she pulled up her skirt.

He looked and said, "That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken."

He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!"

She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her.

She said "Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the neck and the gizzards!!!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on May 12, 13, 06:22:11 AM
My Beagle will sit on anything.
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi267.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fii311%2Fphrotojoe%2F100_4665.jpg&hash=7ba0759d3d4c373c9599e05f014437eb) (http://s267.photobucket.com/user/phrotojoe/media/100_4665.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 12, 13, 06:36:09 AM
Hehehe   he just finished mowing the lawn  ;)  Where was you while he was mowing ; Nice Joe  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on May 12, 13, 08:51:05 AM
Haha  nice joe. How old is your beagle ?
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 12, 13, 10:44:26 AM

        All he needs is a can of beer & he's on his way. Cute pic! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 12, 13, 12:05:54 PM
The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and none could dispute that. But then he said they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal’s skin from it’s feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what caliber bullet it was that killed the animal.

 The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on.

 They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "ringbrook." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right.

 They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Kalahari Lion. Shot with a .416 rifle." He was right again.

 Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind, and went to sleep.

 The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. So he said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this black eye?"

 His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on May 12, 13, 12:26:55 PM
Haha that's a good one  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on May 12, 13, 01:18:27 PM
He's 12 and the beverage holder is mounted on the left side too..!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 12, 13, 02:51:36 PM
Hahaha good one Jeff    ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 12, 13, 05:54:19 PM
He's 12 and the beverage holder is mounted on the left side too..!!
            Well 12 in people yrs. vs. dog yrs. he's old enough to have a cold 1 while mowing the lawn. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on May 12, 13, 06:48:29 PM
I like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on May 12, 13, 09:14:58 PM
(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/936548_447988895290003_64092311_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 13, 13, 04:18:09 AM
hehehe    ;D ;D  Somebody might grab that    8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 13, 13, 05:04:59 AM

            That's funny! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 13, 13, 06:19:14 PM
A 110-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling.
      "I've never felt better," he replies. I've got an eighteen-year-old bride who's pregnant with my child.  What do you think about that?"
      The doctor thinks for a moment and says, "Let me tell you a story.  I know a guy who's an avid hunter.  He never misses a season but one day he's in a bit of a hurry and accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, he's walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him.  He raises his umbrella, points it at the beaver, squeezes the handle, and BAM! the beaver drops dead in front of him."
      That's impossible," said the old man in disbelief, "someone else must have shot that beaver!"
      "Exactly", said the doctor.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 14, 13, 03:56:09 AM
hehehe good one  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on May 14, 13, 07:19:11 AM
A 110-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling.
      "I've never felt better," he replies. I've got an eighteen-year-old bride who's pregnant with my child.  What do you think about that?"
      The doctor thinks for a moment and says, "Let me tell you a story.  I know a guy who's an avid hunter.  He never misses a season but one day he's in a bit of a hurry and accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, he's walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him.  He raises his umbrella, points it at the beaver, squeezes the handle, and BAM! the beaver drops dead in front of him."
      That's impossible," said the old man in disbelief, "someone else must have shot that beaver!"
      "Exactly", said the doctor.

hahahhahaahahahaha...another good one 30-30.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 14, 13, 06:53:37 PM
On a hot summer day, a country bumpkin came into town with his dog. He tied the dog under the shade of a tree and went into the bar for a cold beer.

About 20 minutes later a policeman came into the bar and asked who owned the dog tied under the tree. The bumpkin said that it was his. The policeman said, "Your dog seems to be in heat."

The bumpkin replies, "No way dog's in heat...she's cool kawse I got 'er tied unner the shade tree."

The policeman says, 'No! You don't understand your dog needs to be bred.'

"No way,' the bumpkin says, 'dog don't need bread, she ain't hongry, kawse I fed 'ER beef jerky this mornin'."

Now the policeman gets mad and yells out; 'NO! You don't seem to understand, your dog wants to have sex!'

The redneck looks at him with a long pause and says,

"Go 'head. I always wanted a police dog."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 15, 13, 04:02:48 AM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 15, 13, 04:16:41 PM
A little fella walks home from school every day, and on his way he passes a rail yard. One day when he arrived home he said "mom I have a question for you. I want to know why big dogs have little puppies and big cats have little kitties but big trains don't have little trains?" His mother replies "I think it's time you had a talk with your father, go ask him this question." So he walks into the living room where dad is reading the paper and asks him the same question. The dad responds "tell you what, on your way home tomorrow why don't you stop at the railroad yard and ask the engineer that question?" (thinking of course that the youngster will have forgotten all about it by then) So the next day our curious child goes into the yard and finds the engineer, and says "I have a question that my mom and dad couldn't answer for me and they told me I should ask you." The engineer says, "well, what is your question young man?" Says th boy "well, I'm wondering why big dogs have little puppies and big cats have little kitties, but big trains dont have little trains?" The engineer thinks for a few seconds, grins and says "sonnie, go on home and tell your folks that the Burlington Northern pulls out on time!!!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 15, 13, 05:05:57 PM



   Hehehe  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on May 15, 13, 05:39:27 PM
nice :D :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on May 16, 13, 07:22:02 AM
another good one 30-30-...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 16, 13, 08:15:29 PM
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

 "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

 "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti smoking campaign.

 "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

 "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

 "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

 "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," -- A congressional candidate in Texas.

 "Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

 "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing! it." -- Al Gore, Vice President

 "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle

 "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" -- Lee Iacocca

 "I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version." -- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

 "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.

 "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

 "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton, President

 "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Al Gore, VP

 "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." -- Keppel Enderbery

 "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

 "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on May 17, 13, 07:26:23 AM
Wow...people say dumb things...haha

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 17, 13, 01:31:24 PM

            They sure do. ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 18, 13, 08:58:08 AM
A man is a person who, if a woman says,
 "Nevermind, I'll do it myself." - lets her.
 
 A woman is a person who, if she says to a man,
 "Nevermind, I'll do it myself, and he lets her - gets mad.
 
 A man is a person who, if a woman says,
 "Nevermind, I'll do it myself." - lets her and she gets mad - says,
 "Now what are you mad about?"
 
 A woman is a person who, if she says to a man,
 "Nevermind, I'll do it myself, and he lets her - gets mad.,
 and he says, "Now what are you mad about?" - says,
 "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 19, 13, 10:25:04 AM
A Sunday School teacher, having trouble finding subjects to talk
about, was discussing with her class how Noah might have spent his
time on the Ark.
  A girl volunteered, "Maybe he went fishing."
  A boy countered, "With only two worms????"

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on May 20, 13, 09:11:46 AM
Good ones 30-30.

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 20, 13, 08:03:18 PM
 
         You're going to get a few Noah's Ark jokes, I saw just the movie that was made in 1999, Noah's Ark w/Jon Voigt, so I'm on that kick for a while.

         
         Q: Did all the animals on the ark come in pairs?
 A: No the worms came in apples.

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 21, 13, 04:14:05 AM
nice   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on May 21, 13, 01:29:28 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F268899_600976829914664_597637568_n_zps36252804.jpg&hash=d6282c20c371d04066c960f6be5c9b02) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/268899_600976829914664_597637568_n_zps36252804.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on May 21, 13, 01:29:50 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F487479_603867269625620_1470016660_n_zps41c245c8.jpg&hash=b9ad41cd6caa3a2c4e4b7dd757125192) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/487479_603867269625620_1470016660_n_zps41c245c8.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on May 21, 13, 01:30:21 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F485638_605554686123545_201610392_n_zps9b98aa76.jpg&hash=c8ea3d4c4bb88b526dcf18e9434c9a5c) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/485638_605554686123545_201610392_n_zps9b98aa76.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on May 21, 13, 01:31:39 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F600951_10151474179403074_2092664862_n_zps39ac3e25.jpg&hash=76725a760b7c0ba9d8a046ddf149e558) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/600951_10151474179403074_2092664862_n_zps39ac3e25.jpg.html)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F603783_600188573326823_999468308_n_zps80aaae99.jpg&hash=a1fc63c3214708cf37d7b3ee4d6bef47) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/603783_600188573326823_999468308_n_zps80aaae99.jpg.html)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F922719_602729353072745_1854490001_n_zpsd4c994e8.jpg&hash=9faf361cc0d534545b8db5060aeb4ccb) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/922719_602729353072745_1854490001_n_zpsd4c994e8.jpg.html)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi33.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd83%2Fnewell-34%2FComic%2520Relief%2F945242_602327603112920_1620342645_n_zps820bdf7a.jpg&hash=95ee199d89cdb7a8cd3307de188d675a) (http://s33.photobucket.com/user/newell-34/media/Comic%20Relief/945242_602327603112920_1620342645_n_zps820bdf7a.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on May 21, 13, 07:58:10 PM
Good ones..... ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on May 22, 13, 07:20:07 AM
Good stuff...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 22, 13, 08:28:21 AM

            (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FTOO20LATE.jpg&hash=e33ced95af28697a07d48deb2ebbb622) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/TOO20LATE.jpg.html)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FREDNECK20RELOCATE_1.jpg&hash=34eb063b69780b91bb3bc988d66a9c26) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/REDNECK20RELOCATE_1.jpg.html)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FOUTHOUSE20II.jpg&hash=d4ac72e0fbf09f1681079829f702669a) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/OUTHOUSE20II.jpg.html)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FDENTURES.jpg&hash=0a7e6127f39fc7781921507a6538a4ac) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/DENTURES.jpg.html)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FBAD20FEELING20WEB.jpg&hash=260ddf11a833fb02b98575c21c1a782f) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/BAD20FEELING20WEB.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on May 22, 13, 11:25:12 AM
good ones
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 22, 13, 05:45:57 PM
nice hehehe 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 23, 13, 04:53:26 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FSAFETY20FIRST.jpg&hash=e186c892b211abc95aa8ad01f9f3dfd3) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/SAFETY20FIRST.jpg.html)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FEYEBALLS.jpg&hash=fe5d8d1b2fa2dcb6616ffa2067c99c67) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/EYEBALLS.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on May 23, 13, 07:41:58 AM
Good stuff...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 25, 13, 10:05:42 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fwind_chime.jpg&hash=e5ca2c7fe8a7369a9d7049321a8485f3) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/wind_chime.jpg.html)
redneck house boat
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fredneck01.jpg&hash=ba98df45793fe1567bf766f3426e8155) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/redneck01.jpg.html)
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fredneck_house_alarm.jpg&hash=557b92b69ccda62b99e2225704db0593) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/redneck_house_alarm.jpg.html)

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fredneck_gingerbread_house.jpg&hash=903acb167b5d9fa36f7a8fd59c1afc2a) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/redneck_gingerbread_house.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on May 25, 13, 05:28:40 PM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on May 26, 13, 08:10:10 AM
Got this from the Roger Raglin Fan Page on FB.

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/261771_598737006811881_1622278976_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on May 26, 13, 10:21:29 AM
Got this from the Roger Raglin Fan Page on FB.

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/261771_598737006811881_1622278976_n.jpg)

That's funny. I met Roger when he spoke at The Whitetail Classic in Lake George a few years back, very down to earth and a great storyteller.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on May 26, 13, 10:34:25 AM
That's cool, he's one of the very few professional hunters I would have any interest in meeting.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on May 26, 13, 08:18:09 PM
nice one. :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 27, 13, 02:22:45 AM

         Teee Heeee Hee Steve. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 27, 13, 06:06:00 AM
Nice one  Steve    ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 28, 13, 04:57:55 AM

Hillbilly Medical Terms
 


Benign................What you be after you be eight.

 Bacteria...............Back door to cafeteria.

 Barium.................What you do with dead folks.

 Cesarean Section.......A neighborhood in Rome.

 Catscan................Searching for the cat.

 Cauterize..........Made eye contact with her.

 Colic...............A sheep dog.

 Coma...............A punctuation mark.

 D&C................Where Washington is.

 Dilate.............To live longer than your kids do.

 Enema.............Not a friend.

 Fester............Quicker than someone else.

 Fibula............A small lie.

 G.I.Series.........World Series of military baseball.

 Hangnail...........What you hang your coat on.

 Impotent......Distinguished, well known.

 Labor Pain..........Getting hurt at work.

 Morbid..............A higher offer than I bid.

 Nitrates...........Cheaper than day rates.

 Medical Staff.......A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.

 Node....................I knew it.

 Outpatient..............A person who has fainted.

 Pap Smear................A fatherhood test.

 Pelvis...................Second cousin to Elvis.

 Post Operative...........A letter carrier.

 Recovery Room....Place to do upholstery.

 Secretion.......Hiding something.

 Tablet..........A small table to change babies on.

 Seizure..........Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.

 Terminal Illness....Getting sick at the train station.

 Tumor...............More than one.

 Urine...............Opposite of mine.

 Varicose............Near by.

 Hospital............The biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed
 warehouse or Franks lumber mill.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 28, 13, 04:37:33 PM

            (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2F111.jpg&hash=82b8e28eb9ff38244941d44b8cb98b13) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/111.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 28, 13, 05:04:14 PM
Hehehe   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 29, 13, 03:01:33 AM

                 Two drunks were in a bar partying like fools. They were drinking boiler makers, buying rounds like there was no tomorrow. They were dancing, calling each other "professor," and generally causing quite a stir. When asked why such a celebration, they boasted that they just finished a jigsaw puzzle & it only took them 2 months! "TWO MONTHS?!" cried the bartender. "That's ridiculous. It shouldn't take that long!!"
 "Oh yeah?" says one drunk. "The box said 2-4 YEARS

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 29, 13, 03:58:52 AM
hehehe nice  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on May 29, 13, 07:17:57 AM
I like it
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 30, 13, 04:32:56 PM
 mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

 Mother: "What does the cow say?"

 Child: "Moo!"

 Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"

 Child: "Meow."

 Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"

 And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 30, 13, 05:06:54 PM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 31, 13, 04:21:37 AM


                 Two Polish hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "BEAR LEFT" so they went home.

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 31, 13, 02:48:18 PM
hehehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: DeerReaver on May 31, 13, 06:33:41 PM

Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.  One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt.  His wife was standing there at the bench watching him.  After along period of silence she finally speaks.  Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, handloading, and fishing.  Maybe you should sell your guns and boat.  Tim gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”

"Ex wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

”I wasn't "
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: DeerReaver on May 31, 13, 07:29:25 PM
Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah . He died not knowing that he would win the 'Coolest Headstone' contest.

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 01, 13, 06:54:51 AM
Hehehe    Nice     ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Jun 02, 13, 03:12:00 PM
Best thing I saw on FB in a while.


(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/945625_495657820504135_1896286791_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Jun 03, 13, 07:43:02 AM
Haha good stuff guys...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Jun 06, 13, 07:58:40 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/389757_10152904545630515_1964638220_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 07, 13, 04:06:45 AM
hehehe   Nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: monk on Jun 07, 13, 07:07:48 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.myfishfinder.com%2Ffishing_forum%2FSmileys%2Fdefault%2Fclapping.gif&hash=190e83f7fc707a1964f1fa21a53adbe8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 08, 13, 08:29:59 AM
One day God came down and said to three guys that the less you cheat on your wives the better the cars you'll get in heaven. So the first guy went to heaven after cheating on his wife 67 times and he got a Mercedes. The second guy went to heaven and had cheated on his wife 2 times and he got a Ferrari, then the third guy went to heaven and said that he had never cheated on his wife and he got a Bentley. Then one day the third guy was all sad and depressed and the first and second guys asked him what was wrong and the third guy said, "I saw my wife the other day" and the first guy said "yeah, so" and the third guy said " she was riding a skateboard"

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 08, 13, 09:41:46 AM
hehehe    ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 08, 13, 10:09:28 AM
nice :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 09, 13, 07:19:00 AM
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 09, 13, 07:21:28 AM
hehehehe  :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 10, 13, 04:57:18 PM
 newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 10, 13, 05:58:26 PM
Nice, I like it. :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 11, 13, 05:41:53 AM
Two Irish guys are fishing. The first guy reels in his line and sees that he's snagged an old bottle. As he's taking it off the hook, a genie pops out and promises to grant him one wish. "Turn the lake into beer," he says. The genie goes "Poof!" and the lake turns into beer. He says to the other guy, "So what do you think?" The other guy says, "You jerk. Now we've got to pee in the boat."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 12, 13, 02:59:42 PM
I was coming back from Canada, driving through Customs, and the guy asked, "Do you have any firearms with you?" I said: "What do you need?"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 12, 13, 03:38:11 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 13, 13, 01:04:50 PM
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars."

 The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred?"

 The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law."

 The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?" ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 13, 13, 02:10:36 PM
good one :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 13, 13, 04:12:13 PM
Nice  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 15, 13, 10:09:44 PM

           A woman is in bed with her lover who happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation ...

 (She is speaking in a cheery voice) "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye."

 She hangs up the telephone, and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

 "Oh," she replies," that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having with you on his fishing trip."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 16, 13, 05:20:39 AM
hehehehe    ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 16, 13, 10:59:42 AM
Parenting Humor


Fathers then & now
 Today is one of the first Father's Days of our new millennium. Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages:

 In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.

 Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, a father's horsepower meant his horses.

 Today, it's the size of his minivan.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.

 Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.

 Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.

 Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.

 Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, fathers pined for old country Romania, Italy, or Russia.

 Today, fathers pine for old country Hank Williams.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.

 If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up, it's time for school."

 Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake up, it's time for hockey practice."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.

 Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Cindy's at gymnastics, I'm at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.

 Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE.."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles.

 Today, a father spends $800 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams: "I wanted Sega!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, if a father had breakfast in bed, it was eggs and bacon and ham and potatoes.

 Today, it's Special K, soy milk, dry toast and a lecture on cholesterol.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, a Father's Day gift would be a hand tool.

 Today, he'll get a digital organizer.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, fathers said, "A man's home is his castle."

 Today, they say, "Welcome to the money pit."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, "a good day at the market" meant Father brought home feed for the horses.

 Today, "a good day at the market" means Dad got in early on an IPO.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the table.

 Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonald's.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, a father was involved if he spanked the kid now and then.

 Today, a father's involved only if he coaches Little League and organizes Boy Scouts and car pools.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to attention.

 Today, kids glance up and grunt, "Dad, you're invading my space."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suiters with shotguns if the girl came home late.

 Today, fathers break the ice by saying, "So...how long have you had that earring?"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, fathers pined for the old school, which meant a one-room, red-brick building.

 Today, fathers pine for the old school, which means Dr J and Mickey Mantle.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 In 1900, fathers were never truly appreciated.

 In 2001, fathers are never truly appreciated.


 

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: DeerReaver on Jun 16, 13, 11:32:53 PM
 This should probably be printed on a card for men to carry in their wallet.

9 Words Women Use
 
( 1 ) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

( 2 ) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

( 3 ) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

( 4 ) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

( 5 ) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

( 6 ) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

( 7 ) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'.. That will bring on a 'whatever').

( 8 ) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying...Go to Hell...

( 9 ) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
 
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 17, 13, 06:54:58 PM

              A young man and an old man were fishing on a pier.The young man started telling the old one that the night before he caught a trout that was over 3 1/2 foot long.

 The old man replied "Oh yea, well I was here 2 nights ago and I hooked something huge. After a 30 minute fight I finaly got it up and it was an old lantern and the thing was still lit."

 The young man said "Your lying. I can't believe that."

 Then the old man said "I'll tell you what, you knock a couple of foot off your trout and I'll blow out my lantern."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 18, 13, 03:39:21 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: lewk24 on Jun 18, 13, 08:42:57 AM
Haha good stuff...

Luke
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 18, 13, 01:20:07 PM

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a

BREASTED AMERICAN. '

 

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

 


3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

 


4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a

'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

 


5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

 


6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a

'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

 


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

 


2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is


'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'


3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'


4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'


5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'




6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'




 




Life is short... forgive quickly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably...
 and never regret anything that made you smile




 



 -


Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections             
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Jun 18, 13, 01:30:57 PM
OMG you kook
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 18, 13, 04:04:41 PM
OMG you kook
X-2 I was thinking the same thing  :D :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 18, 13, 05:09:47 PM
OMG you kook
             I didn't write it, I just posted it. ???
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Jun 18, 13, 08:23:24 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1189.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz439%2Ffishnmachine1%2FTshirt_zpse586c8cf.jpg&hash=69ad5e5db19224c505eb26adcd7075ec) (http://s1189.photobucket.com/user/fishnmachine1/media/Tshirt_zpse586c8cf.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 19, 13, 03:43:16 AM
Nice one  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 25, 13, 04:28:11 PM

                   A Catholic teenager goes to confession, and after confessing to an affair with a girl, is told by the priest that he can't be forgiven unless he reveals who the girl is. "I promised not to tell!" he says. "Was it Mary Patricia, the butcher's daughter?" the priest asks. "No, and I said I wouldn't tell." "Was it Mary Elizabeth, the printer's daughter?" "No, and I still won't tell!" 'Was it Mary Francis, the baker's daughter?" "No," says the boy. 'Well, son," says the priest, "I have no choice but to excommunicate you for six months." Outside, the boy's friends ask what happened. "Well," he says, "I got six months, but three good leads."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 25, 13, 04:55:41 PM
I like it :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 25, 13, 05:20:05 PM
Nice  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Jun 25, 13, 06:07:50 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/998657_423445297769543_1011396270_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 26, 13, 03:51:17 AM
 ;D ;D   We sure are  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 27, 13, 04:25:01 AM

           A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. "There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. "I’m too young to die. I’m only fifty five." "Fifty five?" says Saint Peter. "No, according to out calculations, you’re eighty two." "How’s you get that?" the lawyer asks. Answers St. Peter: "We added up your time sheets."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 27, 13, 04:31:44 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 01, 13, 03:35:17 PM

           Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. That evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 point buck. "Where's George?" one of the men asked, noticing that Sam had returned alone. "He's about 6 miles back. He tripped and broke his ankle. I left him there 'cause I figured ain't nobody 'bout to steal him."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 01, 13, 04:39:39 PM
nice :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 01, 13, 06:32:42 PM
hehehehe   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Jul 03, 13, 12:32:42 PM
OUCH!





(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi431.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fqq34%2Fhesseltine32%2Fnull_zps51bdf666.jpg&hash=0814c5151310a976b0250d70f49ef3fe)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 03, 13, 01:02:17 PM
double ouch :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 03, 13, 03:23:03 PM

           But he still has a seed in it's front paws, he probably can still reach the feeder! ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 03, 13, 04:50:18 PM
Won't be long and he won't be able to reach anything :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 04, 13, 05:40:40 AM
Yep that got to painful no wounder he don't want to move  :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 06, 13, 04:05:33 PM

              A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 06, 13, 04:26:59 PM
hehehe   :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Jul 15, 13, 07:25:11 PM
Bear Encounter P.S.A.


http://youtu.be/tHrFqxRYr5A (http://youtu.be/tHrFqxRYr5A)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Jul 15, 13, 07:39:12 PM
best advice so far!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 15, 13, 08:19:50 PM

            Oh sure, a bear is attacking you & you are supposed to lay down & curl up in a ball & stay calm, can't happen! ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 16, 13, 04:21:34 AM
Yea ok how many people going to do that
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: oneshott on Jul 16, 13, 05:01:16 AM
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7132093/i-want-to-catch-a-big-striped-bass
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Deposit on Jul 16, 13, 05:12:19 AM
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7132093/i-want-to-catch-a-big-striped-bass

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7132093/i-want-to-catch-a-big-striped-bass (http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7132093/i-want-to-catch-a-big-striped-bass)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: dan_lais on Jul 17, 13, 07:59:56 PM
at first im like this is kinda weird then by the end I was laughin pretty hard  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: oneshott on Jul 17, 13, 08:05:10 PM
http://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqIKHEuVRWDkADkz7w8QF;_ylu=X3oDMTBzMHZ1YnZvBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMzE-?p=hunting+joke&vid=5927cd56a950b012994cbd4cdef867d1&l=00%3A56&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DV.4660027738885469%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tudou.com%2Fprograms%2Fview%2FpKlovxjHPJ4%2F&tit=Eli%26%2339%3Bs+Dirty+Jokes+-+Moose+Hunting&c=0&sigr=11ftf9udt&age=0&b=31&tt=b (http://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqIKHEuVRWDkADkz7w8QF;_ylu=X3oDMTBzMHZ1YnZvBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMzE-?p=hunting+joke&vid=5927cd56a950b012994cbd4cdef867d1&l=00%3A56&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DV.4660027738885469%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tudou.com%2Fprograms%2Fview%2FpKlovxjHPJ4%2F&tit=Eli%26%2339%3Bs+Dirty+Jokes+-+Moose+Hunting&c=0&sigr=11ftf9udt&age=0&b=31&tt=b)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Jul 17, 13, 08:28:11 PM
http://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqIKHEuVRWDkADkz7w8QF;_ylu=X3oDMTBzMHZ1YnZvBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMzE-?p=hunting+joke&vid=5927cd56a950b012994cbd4cdef867d1&l=00%3A56&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DV.4660027738885469%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tudou.com%2Fprograms%2Fview%2FpKlovxjHPJ4%2F&tit=Eli%26%2339%3Bs+Dirty+Jokes+-+Moose+Hunting&c=0&sigr=11ftf9udt&age=0&b=31&tt=b (http://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqIKHEuVRWDkADkz7w8QF;_ylu=X3oDMTBzMHZ1YnZvBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMzE-?p=hunting+joke&vid=5927cd56a950b012994cbd4cdef867d1&l=00%3A56&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DV.4660027738885469%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tudou.com%2Fprograms%2Fview%2FpKlovxjHPJ4%2F&tit=Eli%26%2339%3Bs+Dirty+Jokes+-+Moose+Hunting&c=0&sigr=11ftf9udt&age=0&b=31&tt=b)

haha
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 18, 13, 05:53:38 PM
hahahaha    nice oneshott    ;D ;D 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Jul 23, 13, 06:25:07 PM
I would have used a good quality trail camera picture to have her face on the news. That would be better than anything the cops could do.

http://youtu.be/3tD4nmw1yZs (http://youtu.be/3tD4nmw1yZs)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Jul 23, 13, 07:05:07 PM
 :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Jul 23, 13, 08:46:28 PM
they were talking about this last week on the radio morning show i listen too.  all the jockey kept saw was how chafed she had to be when she got done running when not whiping. 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 24, 13, 04:10:41 AM
 ::)   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Jul 24, 13, 09:02:07 PM
Here's a funny story about the "Libtards" as my friend calls them.

http://bearingarms.com/co-anti-gun-group-cancels-gun-buyback-due-to-background-checks/ (http://bearingarms.com/co-anti-gun-group-cancels-gun-buyback-due-to-background-checks/)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hunts2long on Jul 28, 13, 08:00:44 PM
It's not the first time they shot themselves in the foot. If only we could get them to improve their aim....hunts2long
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Jul 28, 13, 08:22:44 PM
Why you don't take public transportation
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi431.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fqq34%2Fhesseltine32%2Fnull_zps74ac53d2.jpg&hash=69f2d5f69a3c2dff31a974f715f73ca1)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Jul 28, 13, 08:31:50 PM
Rofl! Do you suppose it's "his" first day with the new boob job ?  :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Deposit on Jul 29, 13, 06:29:27 PM
LMAO ROTF... you have no idea how much I needed that laugh today. Had to pull over as my car engine was knocking terribly. No oil in the darn thing!!!! walked 2 miles to the nearest gas station as I dared not drive any further. The wife was with me so we both went. Got oil and then walked 2 miles back to limp the car home...you just made my day LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 29, 13, 07:07:25 PM
OH YEA  :P :P :P :P :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Jul 30, 13, 11:18:46 AM
   https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=511699612219908&set=vb.489159771140559&type=2&theater  (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=511699612219908&set=vb.489159771140559&type=2&theater)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: countyboy on Jul 30, 13, 12:01:02 PM
That's funny but had to be fake.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Jul 30, 13, 12:01:54 PM
That's funny but had to be fake.


   Yeah I know..   But still funny..... ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: countyboy on Jul 30, 13, 12:03:59 PM
I would have kept my clothes on though.Damn that must of been itchy,
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Jul 30, 13, 12:27:52 PM
Haha that's pretty good
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 30, 13, 04:55:14 PM

             He's a scary guy! ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Jul 31, 13, 07:42:38 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.websitetoolbox.com%2F13095%2F1195020&hash=65012dba5871ca06e546969082d50d4a)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: peddler on Aug 01, 13, 02:28:41 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.websitetoolbox.com%2F13095%2F1195020&hash=65012dba5871ca06e546969082d50d4a)

Like the Bambi Burgers!

 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Aug 01, 13, 02:39:23 PM
That's Great--LLLL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Aug 03, 13, 06:18:16 PM
 ;D


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftosh.comedycentral.com%2Fblog%2Ffiles%2F2013%2F08%2Fdamnimgood.jpg&hash=8d15e2e9257b16a85db8fa4fab8079d4)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Aug 03, 13, 06:19:55 PM
(https://sphotos-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/1001715_570403639664614_1091250678_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 03, 13, 07:16:50 PM
hehehe got a nice verity of sprays
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Aug 03, 13, 07:26:19 PM
hehehe got a nice verity of sprays

I thought the same thing, this is actually probably better than my real shower head.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Aug 05, 13, 05:20:36 PM
If your friends were like your pets  :o.

http://youtu.be/GbycvPwr1Wg (http://youtu.be/GbycvPwr1Wg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 05, 13, 05:36:14 PM
hahaha Ooooh my god .....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Deposit on Aug 05, 13, 07:01:33 PM
LMAO that is to true!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 05, 13, 07:31:40 PM

              Strange! ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 05, 13, 08:41:52 PM
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.

Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Ronald Reagan's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Reagan told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Obama's clock?" asked the man.

"Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Enjoy the breeze!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Aug 05, 13, 08:44:21 PM
Haha ain't that the truth
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 06, 13, 03:35:35 AM
hahaha X-2  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Aug 06, 13, 06:38:20 AM
lol....so true....lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 06, 13, 07:49:49 AM
I like it ha ha.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Aug 06, 13, 02:55:05 PM
(https://sphotos-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/998913_612592545440487_663255280_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Aug 06, 13, 09:17:58 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftosh.comedycentral.com%2Fblog%2Ffiles%2F2013%2F08%2FAlQaedaDad.jpg&hash=a990e72d54356b4a6bce833a03b4c4a7)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 07, 13, 05:19:15 AM

             I like that 1, Steve. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Aug 07, 13, 06:04:38 AM
Nice find Steve  haha
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Aug 07, 13, 10:20:47 AM



(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/p480x480/9805_469546303129743_360418945_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 09, 13, 09:31:18 AM

          Someone sent this to me, I thought I'd share!

                  http://therionorteline.com/2013/06/06/ill-never-stand-in-line-again-gen-stanley-mcchrystal-u-s-army/ (http://therionorteline.com/2013/06/06/ill-never-stand-in-line-again-gen-stanley-mcchrystal-u-s-army/)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 09, 13, 04:29:51 PM
(https://sphotos-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/998913_612592545440487_663255280_n.jpg)
;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 09, 13, 04:30:56 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftosh.comedycentral.com%2Fblog%2Ffiles%2F2013%2F08%2FAlQaedaDad.jpg&hash=a990e72d54356b4a6bce833a03b4c4a7)
  I do love the shirt Steve  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Aug 09, 13, 05:06:59 PM
I've been online searching jofbs for a while now, but I realized there aint no f in jobs  ;D.


Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 09, 13, 05:12:01 PM
  I heard it is tough going up this way also       :-\
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Aug 09, 13, 05:18:03 PM
My buddy at work is putting in his notice Monday. He's moving to N.C. for a much better paying job. I applied at the same company for another position.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 09, 13, 05:20:40 PM
Can't believe it getting that slow around Albany & Schenectady
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Aug 09, 13, 05:29:52 PM
Can't believe it getting that slow around Albany & Schenectady

There's jobs around, I'm still being a little picky since I have a job for now. I had a phone interview Wednesday, seemed to go well but you never know.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Aug 09, 13, 05:38:20 PM
There's jobs around, I'm still being a little picky since I have a job for now. I had a phone interview Wednesday, seemed to go well but you never know.

What do you do for work Stka.   Reason I left New York more jobs and they pay better. Living expense is a little more here but still makes up for it.

And the deer hunting is a lot better  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Aug 09, 13, 05:50:58 PM
What do you do for work Stka.   Reason I left New York more jobs and they pay better. Living expense is a little more here but still makes up for it.

And the deer hunting is a lot better  ;D

I'm an electro/mechanical tech, I work in the nanotech field now. I'm looking pretty much nationally for work but like I said I still have a job for a little while so I'm still not in full search mode yet. The Durnham area of NC does look pretty good for industry growth.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 09, 13, 07:58:26 PM
I'm an electro/mechanical tech, I work in the nanotech field now. I'm looking pretty much nationally for work but like I said I still have a job for a little while so I'm still not in full search mode yet. The Durnham area of NC does look pretty good for industry growth.
              Say Steve if you move away, we can't meet out on the ice, :( unless you take a vacation and come back to fish. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Aug 09, 13, 08:29:16 PM
Snowmobile still has less than 100 miles on it. I'd have to come back a few times over the winter to fish  ;). Never even got to use it on lake george yet and that was a big factor in why I wanted it  8).
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Aug 09, 13, 09:09:27 PM
I'm an electro/mechanical tech, I work in the nanotech field now. I'm looking pretty much nationally for work but like I said I still have a job for a little while so I'm still not in full search mode yet. The Durnham area of NC does look pretty good for industry growth.
Not gunna lie I had to look up what it was I was clueless. From the quick skim I did it looks way over my head lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Aug 09, 13, 10:18:42 PM
I basically do a wide range of things but cabling and fitting parts are a big part of it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Aug 09, 13, 10:23:24 PM
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.

He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure.

She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone.

But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion.

He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke in the morning with the feel of pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about."

He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."

In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end.

Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Deposit on Aug 10, 13, 05:08:29 PM
Ouch!!! LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 10, 13, 05:12:36 PM


And the deer hunting is a lot better  ;D

  That makes it a lot more worth wild  ;)     ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Aug 10, 13, 06:00:54 PM
I didn't know if I should laugh or gripe with pain while reading that fishnmachine 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 10, 13, 06:36:09 PM
hahahaha  hehehe   goood one fishnmachine  either way he going to hurt  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 11, 13, 06:09:54 PM
good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: oneshott on Aug 11, 13, 10:10:48 PM
A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn't tell them.

His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner dad?"

"You'll see", he replies.

They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating.

"Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint. It's what your mother sometimes calls me."

His daughter screams ... "Don't eat it, Jimmy! ... It's a fucking asshole ..."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Aug 12, 13, 05:24:45 AM
Haha  good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 12, 13, 06:39:17 PM
hahaha  X-2  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: oneshott on Aug 12, 13, 07:12:29 PM
Two Polish hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "BEAR LEFT" so they went home.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 13, 13, 07:18:10 AM
I like it. :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 13, 13, 12:37:14 PM

                                                         The Bears
Frank was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it.

 There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was my cousin, and you have got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have sex."

 After considering briefly, Frank decided to accede to the latter alternative. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge for his humiliation.

 He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.

 There was another tap on his shoulder. This time, a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, "That was a huge mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you have got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sex."

 Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate. Although he survived, it did take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods and he managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.

 He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

 The polar bear said, "Admit it Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
         
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Aug 13, 13, 01:26:50 PM
whacked out that is....whacked out....makes me NOT want to bear hunt
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: countyboy on Aug 13, 13, 01:32:01 PM
lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Aug 13, 13, 03:17:19 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 13, 13, 04:56:26 PM
whacked out that is....whacked out....makes me NOT want to bear hunt
              loony, there are only black bears in N.Y. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 13, 13, 06:54:49 PM

                 
So, a 95 year old man married a 20 year old girl. After the ceremony, the couple arrives at the hotel and checks into the Honeymoon suite. All the other guests are laughing at the old man and betting on how long he will last that night. Nobody thought he'd last the whole night through.

The next morning she was seen clutching every hand rail in sight and then scratching and clawing her way down stairs. The clerk, who was quite astonished, asked her what was wrong. She replied rather breathlessly; "That old man told me that he'd been saving up for 75 years. I thought he meant his money!!"
 

 
 
 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 13, 13, 07:02:32 PM


                   Hahaha        ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Aug 13, 13, 07:31:20 PM

2016 Democratic Dream Ticket

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1189.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz439%2Ffishnmachine1%2Fweiner_zpsbd40a33a.jpg&hash=bf9510d2b793c5a3c00f704738f98905) (http://s1189.photobucket.com/user/fishnmachine1/media/weiner_zpsbd40a33a.jpg.html)

My name is Barney Frank and I endorse this advertisement !
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 13, 13, 07:54:49 PM

                    ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Aug 13, 13, 08:33:28 PM
haha  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 14, 13, 01:35:18 PM


                    A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes, sir," replied the young guy, "but my friend back there, well, he don't have one."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 14, 13, 02:38:06 PM
ha ha good one. :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 14, 13, 06:52:06 PM


   Hehehe   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 15, 13, 02:57:34 PM

          The Difference Between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
 Beer Nuts are around a dollar seventy-nine, and deer nuts are just under a buck
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hunts2long on Aug 15, 13, 03:53:58 PM
Deer nuts also cost a LOT more....hunts2long
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 15, 13, 06:38:02 PM
Deer nuts also cost a LOT more....hunts2long
  And are real taste to  :P :P
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Aug 15, 13, 08:17:38 PM
(https://sphotos-a-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/535838_575136619191316_1646377892_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Deposit on Aug 16, 13, 04:19:48 AM
Funny  8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 16, 13, 06:13:43 AM
ha ha good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Aug 16, 13, 06:25:39 AM
Nice Steve...
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 16, 13, 03:41:01 PM

                           

Lil' Johnny Meets Barack!


  Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one

of the classes. They

  were in the middle of a discussion related to

words and their meanings. The

  teacher asked the president if he would

like to lead the discussion on                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
      the word 'tragedy'. So our illustrious

president asked the class for an example

  of a 'tragedy'.

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best

  friend, who

lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs

  over him

and kills him, that would be a tragedy."

"No,' said Obama,

  'that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a

  school bus carrying 50

children drove over a cliff, killing everyone

  inside, that would be a

tragedy."

"I'm afraid not,' explained

  Obama.

'That's what we would call great loss."

The room went silent.

  No other children volunteered. Obama

searched the room. "Isn't there

  someone here who can give me an

example of a tragedy?"

Finally, at

  the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his

hand. In a quiet voice he

  said: "If the plane carrying you and Mrs.

Obama was struck by a 'friendly

  fire' missile and blown to

smithereens, that would be a

  tragedy."

"Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you

  tell

me why that would be tragedy?"
"Well,' says Johnny, 'It has to

  be a tragedy, because it sure

as hell wouldn't be a great loss... and you

  can bet your ass it

probably wasn't an accident

  either."






 

 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 17, 13, 03:28:44 AM

               President Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids.

After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand, and Obama asks him his name.

"Walter," responds the little boy. "And what is your question, Walter?"

"I have four questions"

"First, Why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?"

"Second, Why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it's actually
gotten worse?"

"Third, Why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said
  that you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs?"

"Fourth, Why are we lending money to Brazil to drill for oil, but America is
not allowed to drill for oil?"

Just then, the bell rings for recess.

Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Obama says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right:
question time. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks
him his name.

"Steve," he responds.

"And what is your question, Steve?”

"Actually, I have two questions.

First, Why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?

Second, What the hell happened to Walter ?
who was sitting next to me before recess”

 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 17, 13, 06:16:00 AM
ha ha Like it :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Aug 17, 13, 08:26:17 AM
Haha good ones
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 17, 13, 08:37:50 AM
hehe      ;D  Nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: oneshott on Aug 17, 13, 09:55:39 AM
 One night during the local deer hunting season a police officer
was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI
violations. At closing time, he saw a deer hunter tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, then try his keys in five different cars before he found his. He sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. All the other deer hunters left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, and administered a breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.00. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The deer hunter replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 17, 13, 10:10:18 AM
               
       Good 1, oneshott ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Aug 17, 13, 12:26:12 PM
Haha good 1
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 17, 13, 12:46:11 PM
Nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: oneshott on Aug 17, 13, 01:13:33 PM
Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
One evening after the honeymoon he was assembling some gear for a
hunting trip.
His wife was watching him. She finally speaks.
“Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's
time you quit hunting, shooting, and fishing.

Maybe you should sell your guns, your boat and the motorcycle.”
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
"For a minute there, you were sounding like my ex-wife.”
"Ex wife? I didn't know you were married before!"
"I wasn't.“
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 17, 13, 01:45:50 PM
  haha   :) :) 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: oneshott on Aug 18, 13, 05:49:35 AM
Floyd calls the local Sheriff's Dept. When someone gets on the phone, he says...

"Hello, I'd like to report my neighbor Bob. He's been drillin holes in his farwood and hidin marijana in em."

The next day, the Sheriff's Dept raids his neighbors farm and go out to the shed where he kept his firewood, They proceed to split each and every piece with axes, just to find nothing. So, with no evidence, they just leer at Bob and leave.

Later that day Bob gets a phone call...

"Hey Bob, it's Floyd, did the Sheriff's show up at yer place today?" Bob says "Yeah, they sure did. Said sumthin bout someun callin em sayin I gots marijana in my farwood. They split the whole lot."

Floyd laughs and says "HAPPY BIRTDAY BUDDY"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 18, 13, 07:44:37 AM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 18, 13, 11:02:35 AM


   Hahaha  X-2
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Aug 18, 13, 06:38:37 PM
Saw this on another forum, wasn't sure where to post it, the fox looks shocked, too. :o ;D

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pbase.com%2Fimage%2F151865252%2Foriginal.jpg&hash=30e0c6b5d1930e09be1a207acd4ace82)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: tubeslinger on Aug 18, 13, 06:52:45 PM
LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Aug 18, 13, 07:00:13 PM
 :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Deposit on Aug 18, 13, 07:20:48 PM
LMAO!!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Aug 18, 13, 07:48:26 PM
I saw this on archery talk. 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: oneshott on Aug 18, 13, 11:38:14 PM
An Englishman walks into the bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says...

"Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."

The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says,
..."If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."

The gentleman replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bitch,
You'd realize I was talking to the sheep."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Deposit on Aug 19, 13, 05:15:28 AM
 :o :o :o lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 19, 13, 07:17:32 AM
like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 19, 13, 12:08:51 PM

           Back in the old west, a stranger wanders in town and heads to the saloon. After ordering a couple of shots of whisky, the stranger looked around and saw there wasn't any women. He asked the barkeep " what do you guys do around here for companionship" the bar keep said see those sheep over there, well that how we satisfy ourselves. The stranger asked for a couple more whiskies. He felt enough nerve to go and grab a sheep and was heading up stairs. Everyone in the bar was looking at him in a weird way, but his craving for companionship told to go on. When he was done and coming downstairs  , everyone was still looking at him in a weird look. He put the sheep back in the pen and went to the bar and ordered another drink. The barkeep gave a drink and sort of shook his head in discuss. The stranger said to to barkeep "I thought you said it was alright to use the sheep" , the bar keep said " it is, but that's Black ;D Bart's girl"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 20, 13, 06:34:42 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: oneshott on Aug 21, 13, 08:06:04 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAq1Ml3PlGc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAq1Ml3PlGc)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Aug 21, 13, 08:08:29 AM
An Englishman walks into the bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says...

"Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."

The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says,
..."If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."

The gentleman replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bitch,
You'd realize I was talking to the sheep."


Ewe.........lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 21, 13, 05:38:23 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAq1Ml3PlGc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAq1Ml3PlGc)
  That is my type of weather  :) :)  I don't like the heat once so ever  >:( >:(
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 27, 13, 03:11:56 PM


                   The only time a fisherman tells the truth is when he calls another fisherman a liar.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Aug 27, 13, 03:27:20 PM

                   The only time a fisherman tells the truth is when he calls another fisherman a liar.

Haha
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 27, 13, 04:07:08 PM
like it
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Aug 27, 13, 09:10:38 PM
After a President has been in office for 1 year it is customary for the last
President to send a note to the new president. So when the note came from
Bush to Obama, the President was somewhat troubled because it was written in
code and all it said was:

370H-SSV-0773H

This troubled him as he had always heard from his peers how former president
Bush was perceived to have been scholarly challenged. So he took the note to
his wife. She was unable to decipher it.

They called in the VP, and he was unable to decode the message. They called
in the chief of staff and the head of Secret Service detail and they were
unable to determine the meaning of the note.

Next he called in the head of the Senate and Speaker of the House.. They
both were mystified by the meaning of the coded message.

Now there was complete panic in the Oval Office. They called all of their
contacts in the media and sent copies of the note to all of them, and not
one was able to come up with an answer. A special emergency meeting was
called by the staff. All branches of the military, counter intelligence,
CIA, FBI were called in, and the best minds were unable crack the code.

After a sleepless night, a now humbled President Obama picked up the phone
and called the former president, and asked him the meaning of the note.

George Bush chuckled and replied---" you're holding it upside down.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Wyoming Larry on Aug 28, 13, 01:25:25 AM
I hate political crap but if I am going to make jokes about it I at least like to hit both parties.

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi250.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fgg263%2FLLLarsen_photos%2F1175447_159209004282616_1204989208_n_zpscc790c5a.jpg&hash=af1c33ce0f4feec005d160a17aad73de)

(https://sphotos-a-sea.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/p480x480/11168_632722466749622_1337984841_n.jpg)

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 28, 13, 03:52:23 AM
hahahah  how true  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 28, 13, 02:57:06 PM



                       http://www.wimp.com/roadblockprank/   (http://www.wimp.com/roadblockprank/)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 28, 13, 05:50:31 PM
Hahahaha   now I know what you where up to around those man holes   hehehe  you sneaky thing you  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 30, 13, 05:49:56 AM

                A hunter goes into a butcher’s shop and asks for a duck. ‘I’m sorry,’ says the butcher. ‘We’re out of duck. How about a chicken?’ ‘Oh, yes.’ replies the hunter. ‘And how do I tell my wife I shot a chicken
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 30, 13, 07:17:47 AM
Ha Ha like it
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 30, 13, 02:28:25 PM


    hahaha  Nice one      ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: oneshott on Aug 31, 13, 06:40:52 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtZDDynIP50 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtZDDynIP50)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Sep 03, 13, 09:33:49 PM
                                   

Two Coffees in Heaven!



Having arrived at the Gates of
Heaven,

Barack Obama meets a man with a
beard.

'Are you Mohammed?' he
asks.

'No my son, I am St. Peter; Mohammed is higher
up.'

Peter then points to a ladder that rises into
the clouds.





 

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than
St. Peter,

Obama climbs the ladder in great
strides,

climbs up through the clouds and comes into a
room

where he meets another bearded
man.





 

He asks again, 'Are you
Mohammed?'

'Why no,' he answers, 'I am
Moses;

Mohammed is higher
still.'





 

Exhausted, but with a heart full of
joy

he climbs the ladder yet
again.





 

He discovers a larger room where he meets
an

angelic looking man with a
beard.

Full of hope, he asks
again,

'Are you
Mohammed?'





 

'No, I am Jesus, the 
Christ;

you will find Mohammed  higher
up.'





 

Mohammed higher than
Jesus!

Man, oh man! Obama can hardly contain
his

delight and climbs and climbs ever
higher.





 

Once again, he reaches an even larger
room

where he meets this truly magnificent looking
man

with a silver white beard and once again repeats
his question:





 

'Are you Mohammed?' he gasps as he is by
now,

totally out of breath from all his
climbing.

'No, my son, I am Almighty God, the Alpha and
the Omega,

but you look
exhausted.

Would you like a cup of
coffee?'





 

Obama says, 'Yes
please!'

As God looks behind him, he claps his
hands

and yells out: "Yo, Mohammed, two
coffees!"





 

Keep your trust in
God;

your president is
an idiot.

 





 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Sep 03, 13, 09:37:33 PM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Sep 03, 13, 09:44:09 PM
 An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 AM and was asked where he was going at that time of night.
The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replied, "That would be my wife."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: NYSporty on Sep 06, 13, 10:27:36 AM
Little Johnny and his Dad went on a hunting trip and he told the class" We saw a huge 18 point buck in the field, my Dad aimed and shot it right in the a*shole," Little Johnny said. The teacher was mad, "Johnny you mean rectum," she said."Rectum, you bet it rectum, shot his balls clean off."

One night, at the lodge of a hunting club,
two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said, "See that old man asleep in the chair by the fire- place? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget." They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story. "Well," he began, "I remember back in '44', we went on a lion hunting expedition in Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing. On the fourth day, I was so tired I had to rest. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. I don't know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this, 'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!......' I tell you, I just sh!t my pants." The young men looked astonished and one of them said, "I don't blame you, I would have sh!t my pants too if a lion jumped out at me." The old man shook his head and said, "No, no, not then, just now when I said 'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!' "
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Sep 06, 13, 10:41:14 AM
both classics....lmao
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Sep 06, 13, 10:50:37 AM
I really like the second one nysport just spit my drink on my phone laughing
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: oneshott on Sep 06, 13, 03:02:04 PM
I really like the second one nysport just spit my drink on my phone laughing
Here is the video version:  http://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqIBwNCpSoEMAAAz7w8QF;_ylu=X3oDMTByZWc0dGJtBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMQ--?p=eli%27s+hunting+joke+videos+lodge&vid=5511a72e69c00b2de0386e1dd8846c62&l=00%3A55&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DV.4555694467779881%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D5hEG-JIyiJ4&tit=Eli%26%2339%3Bs+Dirty+Jokes+-+Episode+3+-+RAWR!&c=0&sigr=11aitj1g3&age=0&&tt=b (http://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqIBwNCpSoEMAAAz7w8QF;_ylu=X3oDMTByZWc0dGJtBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMQ--?p=eli%27s+hunting+joke+videos+lodge&vid=5511a72e69c00b2de0386e1dd8846c62&l=00%3A55&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DV.4555694467779881%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D5hEG-JIyiJ4&tit=Eli%26%2339%3Bs+Dirty+Jokes+-+Episode+3+-+RAWR!&c=0&sigr=11aitj1g3&age=0&&tt=b)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Sep 09, 13, 09:14:44 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi431.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fqq34%2Fhesseltine32%2Fnull_zps1c06bc0a.png&hash=8ef505160913c861e11d799ef867563d). My girlfriend sent this to me.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Sep 10, 13, 12:32:17 PM
You want a good laugh, check this out. Funniest thing I've seen, well really heard, in a long time. ;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN8YQVM1GQI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN8YQVM1GQI)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Sep 11, 13, 07:51:23 AM
You want a good laugh, check this out. Funniest thing I've seen, well really heard, in a long time. ;D ;D ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN8YQVM1GQI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN8YQVM1GQI)
                 You're JJ, that is funny, it would have been great if he had video of it. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Sep 11, 13, 08:16:22 AM

Seven retired Italian Floridian guys were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Guido loses $500 on a single-hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.

 Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other six continue but standing up.

 At the end of the game, Giovanni  looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna' tell his wife?"

 They cut the cards. Pasquale picks the low card and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be  gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet.

 Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me!"

 So, Pasquale goes over to the Guido's condo and knocks on the door.

 The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants?

 Pasquale declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home."

 "Tell  him to drop dead!" yells the wife.

 "I'll go tell him." says Pasquale.


 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Sep 11, 13, 08:27:27 AM
Like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Sep 12, 13, 05:30:14 AM

                      [ Invalid YouTube link ]  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=lH-sUUfy6ik)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Sep 12, 13, 08:18:16 AM
LOL!  That's all well and good, but a buddy once told me that when they do get established, the best way to get rid of them is to shave half the region, light the other half on fire, and stab 'em with an ice pick as they run across!  :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: bigb2004 on Sep 12, 13, 09:02:14 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi431.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fqq34%2Fhesseltine32%2Fnull_zps1c06bc0a.png&hash=8ef505160913c861e11d799ef867563d). My girlfriend sent this to me.
I have this on a shirt!  LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Sep 12, 13, 09:16:42 AM
LOL!  That's all well and good, but a buddy once told me that when they do get established, the best way to get rid of them is to shave half the region, light the other half on fire, and stab 'em with an ice pick as they run across!  :o
             What I heard was pour Vodka on the nether region, the fleas get drunk the sprinkle sand and they stone each other to death. ha ha
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Sep 13, 13, 02:10:19 PM
   Nice Jeff   ; Get a does of road  rash   hehehe     
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: oneshott on Sep 14, 13, 05:32:49 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxS5M6bJVK0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxS5M6bJVK0)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Sep 15, 13, 05:02:11 AM

           Bert & Margret
   


Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"

Margaret looked him over... "Nope."

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"

"Nope. Not a clue," she replied.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"

Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.  Shoulda bought a hat."

 

         
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Sep 15, 13, 06:35:06 AM
 Nice  Jeff   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Sep 15, 13, 09:51:28 AM
Like it jeff
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Sep 17, 13, 05:24:16 AM

       This one doesn't say much for N.J. hunters!

 couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
       
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Sep 17, 13, 04:58:18 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.celebs.com%2Flt%2F000%2F074%2F303%2F74303.jpg&hash=b2f08eb6a86ef81f7227ceda5c8ee957)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Sep 17, 13, 07:18:02 PM
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I like it!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Sep 23, 13, 05:49:56 PM
               

                    http://lolzparade.com/comedy/15-most-outrageous-redneck-fixes?page=5   (http://lolzparade.com/comedy/15-most-outrageous-redneck-fixes?page=5)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Sep 23, 13, 06:16:44 PM
Nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Sep 30, 13, 02:57:30 AM
 
 
 
 
This is one of the cleverest
E-mails I've received in a while.
Someone out there
Must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
 Wait till you see the last one!

It's going to be  hard to top because

It fits to a "T" 

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS


DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
 

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

 

AND FINALLY...

FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

 

*PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

When you rearrange the letters:


"An Arab Backed Imposter"





 

 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Sep 30, 13, 03:32:42 AM
 ;D ;D  hehehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: bigb2004 on Sep 30, 13, 12:39:48 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1133.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fm598%2Fbigb2004%2FIMG_298663969965201.jpg&hash=6e222daa5683ef2df177e5db3ba40328)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Sep 30, 13, 12:48:22 PM
Nices ones Jeff and bigb.  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Sep 30, 13, 07:40:05 PM
You nailed it jeff..
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 01, 13, 05:03:09 PM

             
She checked into a motel on her 70th birthday. She was a
bit lonely.


 

She thought: "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in
phone books for escorts and sensual massages."


 

So, she looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for
a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted
physical skills flexing in the photo.


 

He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy
hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt
quite certain she could bounce a silver dollar off his well oiled
buns....


 

She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give
Tender Tony a call.





"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?" (Oh my, he sounded
sooo sexy!)


 

Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed
right in:


 

"Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to come to my
motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you.
I'm in town and all alone. What I really want is sex. I want it hot,
and I want it now. Bring toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything
you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night -
tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream. Anything and
everything, I'm ready!! Now, how does that sound?"


 

He said, "Well now, that sounds absolutely fantastic, but you
need to press 9 for an outside line."












Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Wyoming Larry on Oct 01, 13, 05:21:24 PM
30-30

I changed it to the 65th birthday and sent it to an old girl friend.   :) ;) ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Oct 01, 13, 05:48:36 PM
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha......Wyoming that is hysterical....the joke is great but your response is so much better
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Oct 01, 13, 05:59:54 PM
hehehe  Nice Jeff , Nothing like a disappointment for her  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 01, 13, 07:21:00 PM
30-30

I changed it to the 65th birthday and sent it to an old girl friend.   :) ;) ;D
             I got it from a woman in an e-email, her name is Charlotte.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 02, 13, 04:15:19 PM

Deer season reminder -public service announcement

Deer season has started so I thought I'd better send out a reminder about What a Whitetail looks like!


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FATT0000111.jpg&hash=442fd6bd7e549833d922a94c19ea6d50) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/ATT0000111.jpg.html)

No need to thank me, I’m just doing
A public service.


 


 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Oct 02, 13, 05:40:51 PM
And a fine public service you are doing.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 02, 13, 06:05:53 PM




AT FIRST I COULDN’T SHOOT,

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2Fmime-attachment.jpg&hash=a2d919a20d420de9f5931e513ca71ad5) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/mime-attachment.jpg.html)

 


oh-dear

And then I thought, ‘Hell - that's how I'd want to go!’

 
 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Oct 02, 13, 06:08:11 PM
X-2   Oho such a magnificent job you are doing indeed Jeff  :P :P :P   :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Oct 02, 13, 06:09:45 PM
There is no way I could shoot either
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Oct 03, 13, 07:47:16 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1173.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fr590%2Fbooboo3110%2F555358_484747961585859_1580968344_n.jpg&hash=19d795803dc9a5de01d2e025ca0c0371) (http://s1173.photobucket.com/user/booboo3110/media/555358_484747961585859_1580968344_n.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: monk on Oct 10, 13, 12:36:10 PM
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car.

He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange.

He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the

doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.

When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.

Linda is a blonde, a Democrat, and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence.

The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and the expiration date was
from 2008, so it was determined to be Bush's fault.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Oct 10, 13, 05:11:26 PM
(https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/1385395_673024572708274_1568319144_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Oct 10, 13, 05:32:38 PM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 10, 13, 09:27:22 PM









3 Holy Men & A Bear


A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.


They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.


One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.


One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion..


Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.


'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.


Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.


So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!


The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.


 

 
























Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Oct 10, 13, 09:56:51 PM
LMAO!!!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Deposit on Oct 11, 13, 04:26:16 AM
LOL that's funny
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Oct 13, 13, 06:24:45 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsiayV5LuD0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsiayV5LuD0)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Deposit on Oct 13, 13, 06:47:14 PM
LOL I love that movie.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Oct 13, 13, 07:02:09 PM
Love it
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 18, 13, 10:51:35 AM
Alex was pulled over for speeding down the highway; the officer came to the drivers window and said, "Sir, may I see your drivers license and registration?" Alex said, "Well officer I don't have a license, it was taken away for a DUI."

 The officer, in surprise, said," What, do you have a registration for the vehicle?" So Alex replied, "No sir, the car is not mine I stole it, but I am pretty sure I saw a registration card in the glove box when I put the gun in it."

 The officer stepped back, "There is a gun in the glove box??" The man sighed and said, "Yes sir, I used to kill the woman who owns the car before I stuffed her in the trunk."

 The officer steps toward the back of the car and says," Sir do not move, I am calling for backup."

 The officer calls for backup and about ten minutes another highway patrolman arrives. He walks up to the window slowly and asks the man for his drivers license and registration.

 Alex said," Yes officer here it right here." It all checked out so the officer said," Is there a gun in the glove box sir?"

 Alex laughs and says," No officer why would there be a gun in the glove box." He opened the glove box and showed him that there was no gun.

 The second officer asked him to open the trunk because he had reason to believe that there was a body in it. Alex agrees and opens the trunk, no dead body.

 The second officer says, "Sir I do not understand, the officer that pulled you over said that you did not have a license, the car was stolen, there was a gun in the glove box, and a dead body in the trunk."

 Alex looks the officer in the eyes and says, "Yeah and I'll bet he said I was speeding too."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Oct 18, 13, 11:43:56 AM
like it
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Oct 21, 13, 07:19:14 PM
Craigslist ad from the Heartland -


(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.brobible.com%2Ffiles%2Fuploads%2Fmade%2Ffiles%2Fuploads%2Fimages%2FGear%2Fcars%2FScreen_shot_2013-10-21_at_9.01.13_AM_640_442_s_c1_c_t_0_0.png&hash=321845a1bc58e136227c377937a50bfa)

1997 Jeep Cherokee  (XJ)
220K Miles
4.0 L in-line 6
4WD
AUTOMATIC Transmission
Bright Red
Straight Stock
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
POWER MIRRORS!  Woo Hoo!

$1750

Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Jeep Cherokee.  This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import.  It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
It's a Jeep.  It rides like a Jeep.  It drives like a Jeep.  All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used.  This will be apparent in the pictures.


If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.


If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid s**t: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate? 
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
    -could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?


If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.

DETAILS:
-I am the second owner.  First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil.  How much?  I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points. 
    I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive.  Not enough to bother me. 
-It leaks a little oil.  How much?  Not enough for me to care.  It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
    If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Rear bumper has a big-ass crease in it.  I dented it backing into a concrete pole.  Sober.
    We drove away giggling, for the record.  Haven't fixed it.
-Driver's side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
-Radiator has a small leak.  Pinhole.  I can replace the radiator or you can.  Really doesn't matter
    A new radiator and hoses will run $145.  If you don't want to replace them I will. 
    Add $250 to the price of vehicle.  This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer).  A freaking bargain.
-The badass little 4.0L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
-Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles.  I haven't upgraded because I had plans:
    Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17" Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
    Life got in the way - it ain't happening. 
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay.  My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well.  They kick ass, so there. 

QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
    I can't justify owning it anymore.  Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
    Someone else needs to appreciate the Jeep for what it is:  awesome mechanical artistry.

-What's wrong with it?
    Radiator.  Small oil leaks.  Driver's side door cosmetic issues. 
    And it's pissed it has been neglected and parked.  It needs rescued.

-Does the 4WD work?
    Hell yes.  Like a Dickensian Orphan. 

-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
    No.  I'm not in the salvage business.  Buy the Jeep.  Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
    No.  If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
    Want a cheap car?  Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of s**t honda project down the road. 
    I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.

-Why is it still stock?
    Because I bought it for a daily driver with the intention of turning it into a project.
    I haven't had the time to do so.  So I am selling it.

-Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
    I don't give a s**t.  But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake - get it aligned after a lift!

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
    Hell.  Yes.  Not only a good car, a learning experience.  Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
    Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
    Within reason.  I'd drive it a hundred miles or so.  But really, you should come get it.  Look it over.  Have a beer.  Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
    Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
    No.  I'll take Cash.  Period.  Bring cash or don't show.

-Will you ship to -?
    No.  See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
    That's great, I don't give a s**t.  Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750. 
    Why?  Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty.  Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
    But if it's going to a good home - I will sell.  Unless you're an asshole - then no sale.

-Why are you such a dick?
    Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Deposit on Oct 21, 13, 07:31:05 PM
That was one of the funniest GD things I have ever read!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hunts2long on Oct 21, 13, 07:32:28 PM
Great craigslist ad. Owned a few of those over the years. Wish they still were made like they were back then. Wonder if he would take $1700 and a six pack?....hunts2long
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: NYSporty on Oct 22, 13, 05:59:24 AM
That is great. I will be using some of that material in my next CL add for sure!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Cornbread on Oct 22, 13, 08:18:25 AM
There was a good one up here for an XTerra quite a while back but the Flathead Beacon preserved it in an article on their site: http://www.flatheadbeacon.com/articles/article/ninja_hauler_2005_nissan_xterra/7424/ (http://www.flatheadbeacon.com/articles/article/ninja_hauler_2005_nissan_xterra/7424/)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Oct 29, 13, 05:17:48 PM

     

Better than a Flu
Shot!

Miss Beatrice,

The church organist,

Was in her eighties

And had never been married. She was admired for her
sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor

came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint

sitting room.

She invited him to have a

seat while she prepared tea...

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,the young

minister noticed a cut glass
bowl Sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled with water,

and in the water floated. of all

things,a condom!



When she returned
With tea and scones,they

began to chat. The pastor

tried to stifle his curiosity

About the bowl of water and its
strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said,

'I wonder if you would tell me about this?

Pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it
wonderful? I was walking

through the park a few

months ago and I found

this little package on the
ground.

The directions said

To place it on the organ,

Keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.

 




 

 




 
 





















































































Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Nov 07, 13, 05:41:11 PM

                  Send in the clowns

              
    (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osYZ1uZasN8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Chucker on Nov 11, 13, 12:22:12 PM
(https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/1422455_10151790219778182_71926072_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Nov 11, 13, 12:24:03 PM
like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Nov 11, 13, 06:15:38 PM
Lol!   Laugh, and show your age....... ;)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Nov 11, 13, 07:55:17 PM
Nice one Chucker, used to watch M*A*S*H all the time.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Nov 11, 13, 07:56:06 PM
(https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/581238_10201773245846793_281717009_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Nov 11, 13, 08:04:20 PM
(https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/581238_10201773245846793_281717009_n.jpg)

Nice one capt
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Dec 12, 13, 03:37:54 AM


A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said: I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My wife's."
''What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"
The Italian man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."
A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men..
The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Dec 12, 13, 04:15:06 AM
(https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/581238_10201773245846793_281717009_n.jpg)
hehehe  x2 nice Capt.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: tubeslinger on Dec 12, 13, 06:57:14 AM
Nice Capt JJ. Did anyone see the pics of him at a funeral?
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Dec 12, 13, 12:08:22 PM
Yeah I saw it. Miss O didn't look to happy.  What's better is they said one of the people doing sign language translation wasn't really doing it just moving his hands and arms up there. Today they said he spoke out about it and he said he's a skitzo and was hallucinating angles during it.   That's why he was off.   You would think these people that would be screened better with the number of world leaders he was standing next too.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hunts2long on Dec 12, 13, 12:34:00 PM
Give the guy a break. He was told there was going to be a dummy up there, they just didn't attach the strings....hunts2long
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Dec 12, 13, 05:10:13 PM
hehehehe  Nice hunt2 long      :) :) :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Dec 13, 13, 03:18:37 AM

          This not real funny, but what some people do is amusing.

                    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/magical-piano-amuses-and-annoys-chicagoans-214933754.html    (http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/magical-piano-amuses-and-annoys-chicagoans-214933754.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Dec 13, 13, 04:13:36 AM
hehe you never now ....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: maineduckhunter on Dec 13, 13, 01:04:44 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUIzoLpYkxk&list=LLWjSv3USukMBW0FLgNHXveg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUIzoLpYkxk&list=LLWjSv3USukMBW0FLgNHXveg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Dec 17, 13, 03:35:10 AM

              From where I sit, Barack Obama is a"post turtle." What is a"post turtle" you urbane urbanites and city slickers might ask?

Well one day an old cowboy was out ridin' fence and he saw a turtle balanced on top of a fence post. When he got back to the bunkhouse he told the other fellas that he saw a "post turtle". They all asked, "What the hell is a 'post Turtle'? And he said it was a turtle settin' on top of a post! He then went on to explain that "you know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there and you just wonder what kind of dang fool put him up there to begin with!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Dec 17, 13, 03:58:25 AM
hehehe  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Dec 17, 13, 07:37:34 AM
Haha good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: oneshott on Dec 30, 13, 08:37:31 PM
A man was recently stopped by a game warden in northern Missouri. The fellow carrying two buckets of fish, was leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asks the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish? If you don't, I'm going too have to impound them and arrest you." The man replied to the game warden, "No sir. These are my pet fish." "Pet fish?" the warden replied. "Yes sir. Every night I bring these fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. Then I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and we go home." "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you it really works." "OK I've got to see this" (he was really curious now) The man poured the fish into the lake and stood there waiting. "When are you going to call them back?" the warden prompted. "Call who back?" the man asked. "The fish" the warden said. "What fish?" the man asked
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Dec 31, 13, 04:00:49 AM
hehehe   Nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jan 06, 14, 05:46:43 PM
(https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/994663_10153441069895403_2109721471_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Jan 06, 14, 06:16:13 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iceshanty.com%2Fice_fishing%2FSmileys%2Fdefault%2Frotflol.gif&hash=4825c260300f7c5eff6f3ad3107f5a9b)(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iceshanty.com%2Fice_fishing%2FSmileys%2Fdefault%2Frotflol.gif&hash=4825c260300f7c5eff6f3ad3107f5a9b)   (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iceshanty.com%2Fice_fishing%2FSmileys%2Fdefault%2Frotflol.gif&hash=4825c260300f7c5eff6f3ad3107f5a9b)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jan 06, 14, 07:05:07 PM
like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 07, 14, 03:26:18 AM
hehehe  I love it  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 07, 14, 03:40:24 AM

              That's funny JJ.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Jan 07, 14, 08:56:56 AM
LOL!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jan 19, 14, 05:31:25 PM
(https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1/1013220_694352450585321_1473164782_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 20, 14, 03:43:18 AM
hahahaha    Nice one JJ
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 20, 14, 10:55:15 AM

        I wonder if Hillary  would repeat her words if this was true.

     (https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1214.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc483%2FADKSPORTSMAN%2FATT00003.jpg&hash=0bcd3d55fd108354f1d34180a7826957) (http://s1214.photobucket.com/user/ADKSPORTSMAN/media/ATT00003.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Jan 20, 14, 02:31:53 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 20, 14, 06:30:05 PM
hehehe    ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Jan 20, 14, 08:22:03 PM
Good one guys.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 22, 14, 05:01:59 PM

            What's the cheapest meat you can buy?


Deer balls, they're under a buck!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 23, 14, 03:43:16 AM
hehehe   :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jan 25, 14, 11:29:55 AM
Never heard this before: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS1ltXbTqsI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS1ltXbTqsI)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Jan 27, 14, 08:58:54 AM
Lol! Do you suppose his buddies call that "Man-snort"?   ;D   ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Jan 27, 14, 09:40:32 AM
Sounded like a grunt, snort ,wheeze....   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 28, 14, 05:34:44 PM
Sure was a snort wheeze  ;  Herd that severe times myself threw the years  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Jan 28, 14, 08:32:19 PM
Quote
FPS Russia (OFFICIAL)
Some didn't think my "how a 1911 works" gif was detailed enough, so here you go this is how it REALLY works-

(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.minus.com%2FicF03jobZ4M7T.gif&hash=f165a27f62415a314cc5aa9d2f2326c7)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 29, 14, 03:26:35 AM
it sure is  hehe   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Jan 29, 14, 06:21:20 AM
not legal in NY,,,little guys are going down !!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 29, 14, 05:43:58 PM

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?" asks the cop. "I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act." "Oh yeah?" says the doubtful cop. "Lets see you do it." The juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully.

 A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jan 29, 14, 05:57:43 PM
like it
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Jan 29, 14, 05:59:22 PM
LOL!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 30, 14, 03:42:13 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jan 30, 14, 09:14:48 AM
Re-posting this, it makes me laugh every time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN8YQVM1GQI&feature=youtu.be (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN8YQVM1GQI&feature=youtu.be)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Jan 30, 14, 09:33:50 AM
Yup. Still good!!   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Jan 30, 14, 02:20:00 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3N04Z3W4uc   (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3N04Z3W4uc)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jan 30, 14, 03:00:10 PM
poor  guy. bet he won't do that again
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jan 30, 14, 03:26:38 PM
He's got plenty of insulation.....and buoyancy.  8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Jan 30, 14, 03:44:31 PM
 
   (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaXjYkB7YTc)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Jan 30, 14, 04:10:50 PM
OUCH.....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jan 30, 14, 04:16:49 PM

          It's really not that funny, well kind of funny, he could have been seriously hurt. What a doomkauf for doing it. ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jan 30, 14, 05:16:31 PM
owe owe  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Feb 08, 14, 09:28:32 AM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi431.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fqq34%2Fhesseltine32%2F67B05DB4-73B4-4D5A-B34B-683CAA41CA05_zpsm1ayjlod.jpg&hash=0bed8487a0268c27dc04ac1dbe387ba3) (http://s431.photobucket.com/user/hesseltine32/media/67B05DB4-73B4-4D5A-B34B-683CAA41CA05_zpsm1ayjlod.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 08, 14, 10:01:33 AM


A man was telling his buddy "You won't believe what happened last night.
My daughter walked into the living room and said, "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window, take my TV and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters.  Then, sell my car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house.  Then, disown me and never talk to me again.  Don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to any charity you choose."
"Holy Smokes," replied the friend, "she actually said that?"

"Well, she didn't put it quite like that.  She actually said, 'Dad, meet my new boyfriend-- Mohammed.  We're going to work together on Hillary's election campaign!'"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Feb 08, 14, 11:53:16 AM
He did hear that...
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Feb 08, 14, 12:06:41 PM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Feb 08, 14, 02:23:48 PM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 08, 14, 04:44:08 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 09, 14, 06:56:56 AM
I know you have been laying awake at night wondering why baby diapers
have brand names such as "Luvs",  "Huggies," and "Pampers', while
undergarments for old people are called "Depends".
Well here is the low down on the whole thing.
When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em,
Hug'em and Pamper em.
When old people crap in their pants, it "Depends" on who's in the will!

Glad I got that straightened out so you can rest your mind.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Feb 09, 14, 07:11:16 AM
nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 09, 14, 08:10:42 AM
hehehe  very true  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Feb 09, 14, 03:35:06 PM
oh ya...
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: tubeslinger on Feb 09, 14, 08:38:41 PM
lol Good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 11, 14, 03:28:12 PM
One day, Satan was out for a walk through Hell, making sure things were running smoothly. When he got to the Lake of Fire, he saw a man sitting by the lake, relaxing in a lawn chair, and not sweating or looking uncomfortable at all. Perplexed, Satan approached the man and asked:

 "Young man, are you not hot or bothered by this heat?" The man replied, "Oh no, not at all. I lived in downtown Toronto and this weather is just like a typical July day in the city." Satan thought that this was not a good sign, so he rushed back to his office and turned up the heat in Hell another 100 degrees. Satisfied with himself, he again returned to the Lake of Fire to check on the young man.

 When he got there, the man was showing a few beads of sweat, but that was all. Again Satan asked the Torontonian, "Are you hot and uncomfortable yet?" The young man looked up and said, "No, the temperature is just like a hot August day in Toronto. I'm coping it just fine."

 Satan decided that he had to do something drastic to make this man's stay in Hell unpleasant. He went back to his office, turned the heat all the way down, and then turned up the air conditioning. The temperature in Hell quickly dropped well below zero. As he approached the Lake of Fire, he noticed that it was now frozen over. He also saw the Torontonian jumping up and down wildly, waving his arms and yelling into the air.

 "This looks promising!" thought Satan. Coming closer, he finally made out what the man was shouting: "The Leafs have won the Stanley Cup! The Leafs have won the Stanley Cup!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Feb 11, 14, 03:46:40 PM
A hockey joke, I like that one.  ;D Thought maybe he was happy to be going ice fishing.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 11, 14, 05:20:35 PM
 :-\   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 12, 14, 04:16:17 PM

                Three Wishes
A bear was out hunting, and while he was chasing a rabbit through the forest he fell into a stream. As he climbed out he noticed a toad on his back. The toad then said "My friends, you have freed me from an underwater trap, as a token of my gratitude I'll grant you both 3 wishes." The rabbits turn is first, and he says "A crash helmet" and so he gets one. The bear wonders why he wasted his wish and says "I wish all the bears except me in the forest are female" and so it's granted. For rabbits second wish, he says "I wish for a motorbike" And so, one appears. Again confused the bear says "I wish all the bears in the neighbouring forest are female" Again, the wish is granted. For the third wish the bear blurts out "I wish all the bears in the world are female apart from me" His final wish is granted. The rabbit slips on his helmet,grins, guns the engine and says "I wish the bear is gay!"
 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 12, 14, 06:13:23 PM


                 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 13, 14, 01:34:48 PM


              A young polar bear came into his den and asked his mother, "Mom am I a real polar bear?" "Of course you are." His mother replied. The young polar bear asked his father. "Dad, am I a real polar bear?" "Yes, you are a real polar bear." A week passed and the young polar bear asked his parents, "Are grandma and grandpa real polar bears?" "Yes" said his parents. Another week passed and the young polar bear asked his parents, "Are all my relatives real polar bears?" "Yes, they are all real polar bears." Said his parents. "Why do you ask?" replied his mother. "Because," said the young polar bear, "I'm freaken freezing!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Feb 13, 14, 02:05:46 PM
I'am freezing to. Hate this damn snow.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 13, 14, 03:01:17 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Feb 13, 14, 04:00:07 PM
I'm thinking about sun bathing tomorrow-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------just thinking...........
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Feb 13, 14, 08:56:31 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1189.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz439%2Ffishnmachine1%2Ffacebook_-1030611215_zps65abcb4b.jpg&hash=5a0c54ca8466222dbe77846dca9b179a) (http://s1189.photobucket.com/user/fishnmachine1/media/facebook_-1030611215_zps65abcb4b.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 14, 14, 08:36:17 AM
Nice  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 14, 14, 12:20:17 PM

                Dear friends, it is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following:

 The Pillsbury Doughboy died Monday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded".

 Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man, he was considered a roll model for millions.

 Toward the end it was thought he'd rise once again, but he was no tart. Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two children, and one in the oven.

 The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 14, 14, 12:51:11 PM
Not going to be the same now always wanted to poke his belly to see if he would giggle for me as well , Going to miss the little guy  :'(
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Feb 14, 14, 02:40:03 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 17, 14, 04:16:13 PM
A young couple were married and they were having sex all the time during their honeymoon.

When the honeymoon was over they had to adjust their sex schedule to their work schedule. So every day the husband would get home at 5 o'clock, and every day they would go to bed at 5:15.

This went on for months, never missing a day until the wife came down with the flu and went to the doctor to get a flu shot.

The shot killed all the germs inside her except for three. These three germs were huddled together inside her body talking over their survival plans.

One germ said, "I am going to hide between two toes on her left foot. I don't think the antibiotics will find me there".

A second exclaimed, "I am going to hide behind her right ear. I don't think they'll find me there."

The last germ said, "I don't know about you guys, but when that 5:15 pulls out tonight, I'm gonna be on it!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Feb 17, 14, 04:37:13 PM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Feb 17, 14, 05:03:35 PM
like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 17, 14, 05:09:28 PM
       ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Feb 17, 14, 07:46:51 PM
good one.... ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 18, 14, 02:44:24 AM
A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

 There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

 So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

 On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

 Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

 The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

 The second floor sign reads:

 Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

 The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

 The third floor sign reads:

 Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

 "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

 The fourth floor sign reads:

 Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

 "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

 The fifth floor sign reads:

 Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

 "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

 The sixth floor sign reads:

 Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 18, 14, 03:31:00 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Feb 20, 14, 03:48:57 PM
Ready for another Jeff..
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 20, 14, 04:16:00 PM
Yea what you got Jeff  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mt.perchman on Feb 20, 14, 08:16:34 PM
Thank you guys those just made my day even better..keep it up!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 20, 14, 09:17:54 PM

             It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little Antartian got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation.
 She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard; she should wait for a snowplow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snowdrift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snowplow went by and she started to follow it. As she follows the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.
 After quite sometime had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snowplow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snowplow when caught in a blizzard.
 The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to K-Mart next.

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 21, 14, 03:36:13 AM
hehehe   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 21, 14, 04:32:44 AM

        Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a fool-proof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, lets get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?" The guy in the front says, "Well, I don't know how about you but I'm going to start nibbling grass."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 21, 14, 12:57:26 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D  hehehe 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 22, 14, 09:37:46 AM


               
 
There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very
depressed because he loved to play golf. One day in his despair, he
decided to commit suicide.
 
He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He
was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man down on the side
walk skipping along, whooping and kicking up his heels.
 
He looked closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all.
 
He started thinking, "What am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself?
I still have one good arm to do things with."
 
He thought "There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so
happy, and going on with his life."
 
He hurried down to the side walk and caught up with the man with no
arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he lost one of his
arms and felt useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him for
saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if the
guy could go on with no arms.
 
The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels
again.
 
He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?"
 
He said, "I'm NOT happy. My balls itch."
 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Feb 22, 14, 12:10:23 PM
Like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 23, 14, 02:10:58 PM
Good one  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Feb 23, 14, 02:25:46 PM
Ok---i'll try one------
My 94 year old grandmother was driving down the route 30 in Fulton County and a deputy pulled her over,as he waddled his 400lbs body up to the car,peeked in the window as the window rolled and she said WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT,as he jumped back ,urine ran down his leg and then said c cccccccan I see your drivers license,she said yes no problem but I have a 22 derringer in my wallet,don't be alarmed,,,he said O o ooo ok,,I must see your Registration,she said it's in my glove box and I have a loaded .44 magum in there also,,he said just take it out slooooooowly,,she did,the he said I have to see your insurance card  too,she said it's in the center consoul under my 9mm Luger,I'll take it out slowly for you chump,,after everything was OK he said I have one question for you mam,,with all these guns what are you so afraid of,,,,,
she looked the chunky deputy in the eyes and said NOT A GODDAM THING.................. 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Feb 23, 14, 03:33:06 PM
  I like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 23, 14, 05:17:47 PM

             Good one HB. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 24, 14, 03:54:57 AM
Nice  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Feb 24, 14, 12:12:19 PM

As a trucker stops for a red light, a beautiful blonde young lady catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl again catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the girl says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the girl gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says...

"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Vermont and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 24, 14, 02:52:27 PM


                    An 80-year old man walks into the doctor's office for his regular check-up.
The doctor says to him, "Ahh, Ted, how are you feeling?" "Great," says the old man. "I have an 18-year old wife, and she's pregnant with my child." The doctor gives a concerned look and says to Ted, "Ted, let me tell you a story. See, I have this hunter friend and early one morning, he goes out hunting, but is in such a hurry that he grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, as he is hunting, he spots a beaver. He aims at the beaver with his umbrella and shoots at it. Bam! The beaver falls dead to the ground.""What?!" cries the old man. "Why that's impossible! Someone else must have shot the beaver.""Exactly," says the doctor.

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 24, 14, 03:50:14 PM
hehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Feb 24, 14, 07:31:49 PM
Both true----L
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 25, 14, 10:04:55 AM


              Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place. First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second guy: “that’s nothing; I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.” Third guy: “Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her.” They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. You haven’t said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. “What’s the deal?” Fourth guy: “I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, “Fishing or Sex” She replied, “Make sure you put on a warm jacket its cold outside.”
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Feb 25, 14, 12:15:44 PM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 25, 14, 01:47:49 PM
hehehe  I don't have a warm coat  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Feb 25, 14, 02:50:05 PM
True True True,,very True.....
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 25, 14, 04:41:48 PM
hehehe  I don't have a warm coat  ;D ;D
              You better get one, you're gonna freeze! :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 26, 14, 09:02:28 AM

                There were three hunters. One day, a hunter comes back and says I got a rabbit. The others asked how he got it. The hunter says, "I followed tracks, followed tracks, followed tracks, and I got this rabbit." The next day, another hunter comes back with a deer. The others asked how he got it. The hunter says, "I followed tracks, followed tracks, followed tracks, and I got this deer." The following day, the third hunter goes out. The other hunters get a call so they go to the hospital. The hunter is in a full body cast and the hunters asked what happened. The hunter says, "I followed tracks, followed tracks, followed tracks, and I got hit by a train."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Feb 26, 14, 11:40:53 AM
 ;D ;D Gene pool cleansing!  ::)  :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Feb 26, 14, 01:26:43 PM
nice.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Feb 26, 14, 06:48:44 PM

           This isn't a joke it really happened.

                      http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/oddnews/two-dogs-take-owner%E2%80%99s-truck-on-3-block-joyride-212737361.html?vp=1     (http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/oddnews/two-dogs-take-owner%E2%80%99s-truck-on-3-block-joyride-212737361.html?vp=1)
       
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Feb 26, 14, 07:52:01 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.archerytalk.com%2Fvb%2Fattachment.php%3Fattachmentid%3D1892763%26amp%3Bd%3D1393462897&hash=fe5e5dc6897aa77e8dd5bc8feafa86cc)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Feb 27, 14, 03:42:04 AM
  :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 02, 14, 05:31:43 AM

             
Old Butch

Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Fred's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Fred's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Vote carefully in the next election, the bells are not always audible.







































 

 


 

 


 

 


 


 


 

 

 

 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 02, 14, 06:45:20 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 02, 14, 07:37:54 AM
like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 02, 14, 10:46:43 AM
like it.
            Were you at Jakes fundraiser yesterday?
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 03, 14, 03:56:24 PM
(https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1/574558_10152268559732783_878984218_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Mar 03, 14, 04:53:57 PM
lol that is all over facebook....funny
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 03, 14, 05:42:26 PM
 

           hahaha   nothing to worry about he has info red vision  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 04, 14, 04:15:12 AM

         
If you are a female bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for 6 months.
     I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you are supposed to eat yourself stupid.
     I could deal with that, too.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
     I could deal with that.
If you're a female bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. EXPECTS you to have hairy legs and excess body fat.
     I could deal with that, also.
When you awaken from hibernation, you have lost 60 pounds.
     I could deal with that.
     I WANNA BE A BEAR!!


Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 04, 14, 04:46:39 PM


             ;D ;D  me to I'd like to be one myself how you sign up hehehehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mt.perchman on Mar 04, 14, 07:48:19 PM
 ;MY wife and say thanks for that one .... ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 04, 14, 07:54:03 PM
;MY wife and say thanks for that one .... ;D ;D ;D
            I aim to please everyone. ;)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mt.perchman on Mar 04, 14, 07:59:17 PM
ITS WORKING !!! THANKS
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 05, 14, 12:17:01 PM
OK--this could be comical,I'm headed to Walmart,I'll count how many women or men are wearing pajama's,sweats,flipflops,pants down below their butt and thongs that stick out of their plumbers crack,,,just so no-one see's me i'll be in Camo...
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 05, 14, 12:30:29 PM
Are you going to stop counting when you get to one hundred.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 05, 14, 01:52:44 PM
Wally World was about empty,snowing hard,but I got milk, cat litter and checked the ammo,,
22 pajama's,5 had on slippers and 1 flip flops-----I was laughin to myself,,,,
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 05, 14, 03:52:10 PM

                A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 05, 14, 04:44:54 PM
Wally World was about empty,snowing hard,but I got milk, cat litter and checked the ammo,,
22 pajama's,5 had on slippers and 1 flip flops-----I was laughin to myself,,,,
  hehehe  How long were you in there #'s right up there  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mt.perchman on Mar 05, 14, 07:22:53 PM
Thats funny !!! Cant wait to show the wife ...
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hunts2long on Mar 06, 14, 07:16:53 AM
Wally World was about empty,snowing hard,but I got milk, cat litter and checked the ammo,,
22 pajama's,5 had on slippers and 1 flip flops-----I was laughin to myself,,,,

Joe, Wally World wasn't empty. You went on the day everyone shops from the hill towns. They were all in "camo".....hunts2long
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 06, 14, 10:17:25 AM

                   A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some homework."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching p*rn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what p*rn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 06, 14, 12:22:23 PM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 06, 14, 03:55:08 PM
Joe, Wally World wasn't empty. You went on the day everyone shops from the hill towns. They were all in "camo".....hunts2long
I think were headed to wally world in Saratoga or glenvlile this weekend,need a new PC monitor,,i'll take a count out there ,lots more people..
LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 06, 14, 03:56:44 PM
great one Jeff--that was my brother in laws house I think--true
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 06, 14, 04:51:01 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 07, 14, 03:32:58 AM

          At a construction site on the 80th floor of a high rise building, the lone conservative on the crew was having a heated political discussion with the liberals on the project. Deciding to take a break, he called everyone over to the edge of the roof. "Did you know," he began, "that there are extremely violent invisible updrafts that are able to keep a body floating in mid-air? They only occur at certain times during the day between buildings. Here, I'll show you!" He then leaped off the side of the building, and with arms spread-eagle, floated effortlessly on an unseen cushion of air, and then gradually steered himself back to the safety of the roof. "That's awesome," one of the left-wingers shouted. "I want to try it." "Me too," another cried, and then another, and as they leaped over the side of the roof, one after the other, they fell 80 floors straight down to the ground, SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!
 A crowd rushed over to witness the carnage, and while doing so, one of the spectators looked up and remarked, "Boy, Clark Kent sure hates liberals!"


Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 07, 14, 03:34:24 AM
 ;D ;D   Nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 07, 14, 06:28:57 AM
Those three must have been all the Liberals that do work......
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hunts2long on Mar 07, 14, 06:53:33 AM
Those 3 had just gotten the job and had to work one day to get free health insurance...hunts2long
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 07, 14, 04:30:59 PM
My hunting buddy just emailed me a joke---it was good--I can't post it on here ,so everyone just laugh for me--ha ha ha ha ha ---
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 07, 14, 07:24:49 PM
Women and chocolate: http://vitaminl.tv/video/179 (http://vitaminl.tv/video/179)  ;) ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 08, 14, 06:14:37 AM
Very very Nice   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 08, 14, 08:33:16 AM

       That was sweet! ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 08, 14, 09:03:59 AM

             Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 09, 14, 02:14:04 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 09, 14, 05:00:20 PM

            A couple of terrorist were making letter bombs. After they had finished, one said: “Do you think I put enough explosive in this envelope? “I don’t know,” said the other. “Open it and see.” “But it will explode.” “Don’t be stupid! It’s not addressed to you!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 09, 14, 05:00:49 PM
(https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1/1508108_658297537581219_576158577_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 09, 14, 06:03:49 PM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 10, 14, 03:40:14 AM

Nice   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 11, 14, 07:06:25 AM

             little boy : mamma, is god a girl or a boy?

 mamma: why god is both girl and boy.

 little boy: mamma, is god black or white?

 mamma: why god is both black and white.

 little boy: mamma, is god gay or strait?

 mamma: why god is both gay and strait.

 little boy: mamma, is god Michael Jackson?"

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 11, 14, 12:26:30 PM

          The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
 anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

 "OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
 prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
 prisoner in the prison.

 And then they made love for the first time.

 Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

 Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

 Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

 After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
 the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
 a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

 The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
 born foal.

 Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

 She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

 Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
 OKAY!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 11, 14, 02:13:47 PM
I like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 11, 14, 04:43:23 PM


           X-2   me to  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 12, 14, 01:31:32 PM

            Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 12, 14, 04:33:47 PM

            MEN Vs WOMEN
1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup.
2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip.
3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery.
4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 12, 14, 04:38:23 PM
hehehe   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: tubeslinger on Mar 12, 14, 05:02:46 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1289.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb512%2Fbigbucksson%2FIMG_285802201054312_zps24d32a64.jpeg&hash=de95d2f701c32843bf48b679e41aa128) (http://s1289.photobucket.com/user/bigbucksson/media/IMG_285802201054312_zps24d32a64.jpeg.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 12, 14, 05:36:22 PM
I love it  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 13, 14, 07:44:42 AM

           A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you?You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 13, 14, 07:53:36 AM
goo done.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 13, 14, 07:55:54 AM
           This why woman live longer than men.
                    http://www.viralnova.com/women-outlive-men/   (http://www.viralnova.com/women-outlive-men/)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 13, 14, 08:30:42 AM
Maybe they should try that with men    ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 13, 14, 08:55:50 AM
(https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/t1.0-9/1925327_896844137011707_19402472_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 13, 14, 10:47:05 AM
hehehe   :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: atplayart on Mar 13, 14, 07:36:48 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1289.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb512%2Fbigbucksson%2FIMG_285802201054312_zps24d32a64.jpeg&hash=de95d2f701c32843bf48b679e41aa128) (http://s1289.photobucket.com/user/bigbucksson/media/IMG_285802201054312_zps24d32a64.jpeg.html)

had one of my trail cams stole 2 years ago         an got a pic of the theif on another cam 200 yards  away---  I no it was same guy from time frame an tracks in snow--- never thot of putting up a sign like that but wooda been a good idea---  specially if I put a copy of the pic from other trail cam   lol    but short one $200 trail cam
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 14, 14, 05:02:52 AM


 FOUR stages of girl & boy relation!
1. hand in hand.
2. that in hand.
3. hand in that.
4. that in that
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Mar 14, 14, 06:18:51 AM
had one of my trail cams stole 2 years ago         an got a pic of the theif on another cam 200 yards  away---  I no it was same guy from time frame an tracks in snow--- never thot of putting up a sign like that but wooda been a good idea---  specially if I put a copy of the pic from other trail cam   lol    but short one $200 trail cam

Now that's funny !
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 14, 14, 03:24:34 PM

           
GREAT  EXPLANATION, JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU, THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER JUMP TO
CONCLUSIONS

The mother-in-law  arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law  Paddy
in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing  his suitcase.

"What happened Paddy ?" she asks  anxiously.

"What happened!! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an  email to my  wife
telling her I was coming home today from my fishing  trip. I get home... and
guess what I found ? Yes, your daughter, my  wife Jean, naked with Joe
Murphy in our marital bed! This is  unforgivable, the end of our marriage.
I'm done. I'm leaving  forever!"

"Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his  mother-in-law. "There  is
something very odd going on here. Jean would  never do such a  thing!
There must be a simple explanation. I'll go  speak to her immediately  and
find out what happened."

Moments  later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

"Paddy. I told you  there must be a simple explanation .....she never  got
your E-mail!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 14, 14, 04:50:59 PM



              What else did he have his hand into  hehehe 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 14, 14, 05:01:39 PM


              What else did he have his hand into  hehehe
           If I have to explain it to you, you have problems. ::) hehehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 14, 14, 05:06:37 PM
like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 14, 14, 05:11:03 PM
           If I have to explain it to you, you have problems. ::) hehehe


hehehehe   :) :)  I new that would draw a response
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 15, 14, 05:18:21 PM

           
An English teacher reminds her students of the written test in her class tomorrow:

 "Now, I don't want anyone to miss this important finals exam! I will not tolerate any excuse whatsoever for your absence--unless of course you had to go to the hospital because of a serious injury, or someone died in your immediate family."

 Just after she spoke, a wise ass in the back of the class exclaims: "Well, what if I were to tell you that I didn't show up for the test because I experienced complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

 The students in the class try to suppress their snickers and muffled laughter.

 The teacher looks sympathetically towards the young man, smiles slyly and states: "Well, then...you'll have to write with your other hand".
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 15, 14, 05:20:16 PM
 ;D ;D  nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 15, 14, 05:34:39 PM
Like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: windwalker on Mar 15, 14, 09:03:19 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1289.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb512%2Fbigbucksson%2FIMG_285802201054312_zps24d32a64.jpeg&hash=de95d2f701c32843bf48b679e41aa128) (http://s1289.photobucket.com/user/bigbucksson/media/IMG_285802201054312_zps24d32a64.jpeg.html)


I was going to do just that when my tree stand got stolen .....................should have !
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 16, 14, 11:27:12 AM

                 Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 16, 14, 01:35:35 PM
i like it
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 16, 14, 05:08:28 PM

             An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.

 The old man says, "I'm a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not (sob)."

 The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?"

 The old man says, "I can't remember where I live."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 16, 14, 06:30:57 PM
Love it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 16, 14, 09:34:28 PM

                   An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guiness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking. The Irishman, carefully lifts the fly up by its wings and screams, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 17, 14, 03:20:54 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 17, 14, 05:31:11 AM

            Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What's wrong, Seamus?" Paddy asked. "Well didn't ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Seamus. "Ah, praise the Almighty!" Paddy replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 17, 14, 05:38:57 AM

             I'm so depressed now that I learned all this. hehe

               https://www.yahoo.com/food/were-very-sorry-but-your-food-is-a-79364057597.html   (https://www.yahoo.com/food/were-very-sorry-but-your-food-is-a-79364057597.html)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 17, 14, 03:25:02 PM
hehehehe     ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 18, 14, 01:23:15 PM

            An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern. The husband leans over and ask his wife .
Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you.
"Yes", she said, "I remember it well."
"Ok", he says "How about taking a stroll around there again and do it for old time sake ."
"Ooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea", she answers.
There was a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this and having a chuckle to himself. he thinks,"I've got to see this, two old-timers having sex against a fence, I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. He follows them...
They walked haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks, Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make thier way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt, pulls her knickers down and the old man drops his trousers, the old man moves in, suddenly they erupt into the most furoius sex that the watching policeman has ever seen .
They are bucking and jumping like eighteen year olds. this goes on for about forty minutes! She's yelling "Ohhhh, God' he's hanging on to her hips for dear life. This is the most athletic sex imaginable. Finally they both collapse panting on the ground.
After about an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to thier feet and put their clothes back on.
The police man quite amazed stood there still watching and still thinking to himself . " That was truly amazing, he was like a train. I've got to ask him what his secret is."
As the couple passed, he says to them, "That was amazing, you must have been having sex for about forty minutes. How do you manage it?
You must have had a fantastic life together, Is there some sort of secret?"
"No, there's no secret" the old man says,
"fifty years ago that darn fence wasn't electrical!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 18, 14, 03:08:05 PM
good one--- ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Mar 18, 14, 03:43:46 PM
 :o hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 19, 14, 04:34:30 AM

   During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

 "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

 Michael said,"Just a minute I have to go pee."

 The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite."

 "What about you Sherman, how would you say it."

 Sherman said, "I am sorry, but i really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

 "Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table."

 "And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

 Johnny said, " I would say: Darling, may i be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner."


Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 19, 14, 04:41:35 AM
hehehe    ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Mar 19, 14, 06:24:47 AM
Little Johnny is the best!   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 19, 14, 07:20:49 AM
Love it
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 19, 14, 03:57:41 PM
that was GOOD............
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: TallywackahME on Mar 19, 14, 06:42:51 PM
Little Johnny was pawing through his dad's night stand and found a condom.  He brought it to his father and asked him,
"what's this for?" His dad replied, "it's I case I find a mouse". Confused little Johnny looked at his father and said, " why, are you gonna phuck it?"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 20, 14, 03:20:09 AM

  INTERESTING OBSERVATIONS WITH AN AMAZING CONCLUSION
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
and...
6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls
become.

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 20, 14, 04:06:09 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 20, 14, 05:38:51 AM
Hmm-Politicians are into shooting BB gun then .!!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 20, 14, 08:03:55 AM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mt.perchman on Mar 20, 14, 08:25:25 PM
L O L  its always a good laugh to read the above.
please keep them coming  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 21, 14, 03:50:26 AM

              Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

 The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 21, 14, 05:44:16 AM
good  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 21, 14, 06:33:21 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 21, 14, 07:22:08 AM
;D
            Aren't you suppose to be at work?
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 21, 14, 11:06:09 AM
            Aren't you suppose to be at work?
nope 4 - 10 hour days now
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 21, 14, 01:30:20 PM
He is working.  ;D

(https://scontent-1.2914.fna.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1.0-9/1920518_10151982398732960_4923261_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Mar 21, 14, 01:52:13 PM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mt.perchman on Mar 21, 14, 03:47:16 PM
That's a different way to keep them bad boys cool.!!! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 21, 14, 03:49:43 PM

         OH lord, he is one hung low. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 21, 14, 05:14:30 PM
OOOH yea   ;D ;D   He looks a lot like me   hehehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 21, 14, 05:39:24 PM
wow
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Buck Chaser on Mar 21, 14, 06:25:00 PM
WTF..........
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 23, 14, 09:02:13 AM
OOOH yea   ;D ;D   He looks a lot like me   hehehe
           Is that where the get "A-Holes & Elbows" hehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 23, 14, 11:57:26 AM
           Is that where the get "A-Holes & Elbows" hehe
  hehehe    you betcha  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 23, 14, 04:27:10 PM

                         Yuppie on vacation

An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life.....till the boat sank. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months he is lying on the beach one day, when the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she said, "I landed here when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he said, "you were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
"Oh, this?" replied the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island: the oars were whittled from gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree."
"But-but, that's impossible," stuttered the man, "you had no tools or hardware, how did you manage?" "Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman, "on the south side of the island there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware."
The guy was stunned.
"Let's row over to my place" she said. After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked onto shore he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into the house, she said casually "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?"
"No, no thank you" he said, still dazed, "can't take any more coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a still. How about a pina colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.
Would you like to take a shower and shave, there is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he mused, "what next?"
When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines strategically positioned and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she began, suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? You know..."
She stared into his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing:
"You mean--? ", he replied, "- I can check my e-mail from here????"

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 23, 14, 05:20:35 PM
like it
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 23, 14, 11:57:18 PM
OOOH yea   ;D ;D   He looks a lot like me   hehehe

 ;D ;D ;D I was just going to post the picture here but with the way the thread was going I added the line, timing was right.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 24, 14, 04:02:28 AM
A guy is standing in front of his locker at the country club admiring a golf ball in his hand. One of his golfing buddies says to him, "New ball?"

The guy says, "Would you believe this is the greatest golf ball ever made? You can't lose it. You hit it into the rough and it whistles. You hit it into the woods and a bell goes off. You drive it into the lake and a big burst of steam goes off six feet in the air for two whole minutes."

"That's amazing," says his friend. "Where did you get it?"

  I found it, says the golfer....



                 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 24, 14, 04:08:04 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 24, 14, 07:21:36 AM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 24, 14, 02:24:18 PM
(https://scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1.0-9/1622279_662963720428484_1905321567_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: island beach on Mar 24, 14, 03:16:51 PM
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked. "No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked. "What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man. "Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 24, 14, 03:38:47 PM
I like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 24, 14, 04:48:13 PM
 
     X-2  I like it myself as well  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 25, 14, 01:38:20 AM


Amazing Geanie
This man walks into a bar with an old shopping bag in hand. He sets the bag on top of the bar and
pulls up his stool. The bartender comes over and asks what he'll have to swill. As he states his
preference, something in the bag is moving around shaking the paper bag. The bartender gives a
puzzled look but proceeds to the tap. As he's filling the mug, he looks at the bag again and sees that
something is still moving around in the bag. He brings the beer over and places it in front of the man.
His curiosity gets the best of him and he asks the man what he's got in the bag. The man reaches
into the bag and pulls out a little piano and sets it on the bar... the bartender looks intently at the
piano as the man again reaches into the bag... pulling out a small piano bench. He places the bench
in front of the piano and again reaches into the bag pulling out a foot tall man. The man sits at the
piano and begins playing.
The bartender says,"wow, he sure can play the piano, where'd you get him?"
The guy looks at him and again reaches into the bag and pulls out a genie lamp. He hands it to the
bartender and says, "Here, go ahead, rub it.."
So the bartender says, "Is there a real genie in there?"
The guy says, "Yes, just rub it and see."
So the bartender says okay and begins to rub the lamp... and out pops this beautiful genie.
She says, "I will grant you one wish, and one wish only."
So the bartender ponders this for a moment and says, "Okay, I'd like a million bucks."
The genie disappears.. and they're both waiting and waiting and nothing happens. They both look at
each other and shrug their shoulders. Then a minute later a duck pops up at the end of the bar. They
both look at each other, very puzzled, and then another duck appears... and another, and another..
and it continues.
The bartender looks at the guy and says, "I think your genie is deaf. I said I wanted a million bucks
not a million ducks."
And the man says, "Yes, I know, do you think I wanted a twelve inch pianist?"

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 25, 14, 03:38:16 AM
hehehe 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 25, 14, 04:23:49 PM
Our summer fishing boat..
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi267.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fii311%2Fphrotojoe%2Fcid_4172E7D52E714AC096EDA51AA66A8BF5orgmachine-1.jpg&hash=ab24e30ce743306d2e567be09541f189) (http://s267.photobucket.com/user/phrotojoe/media/cid_4172E7D52E714AC096EDA51AA66A8BF5orgmachine-1.jpg.html)
Left-right
30-30,Joe snag,buckfish,raquettdacker,GreenMthunter,and CaptJJ
did anyone bring a fishpole!!!!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 25, 14, 04:51:54 PM
Nice picture guys.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 25, 14, 05:19:10 PM


                It was a great time we all had 30/30 fell out of his chair in knee deep water thought he had it Joe grab his hand and said
                water only knee deep 30/30 OOh  :o He said ; He was trashing around so bad Everyone else almost had a bath  hehehe
                should have seen Buckfish & Me laugh  ;D ;D  Raquettdacker all he could say is anybody else want another BEER :) :) :)
                But our hat's go off to Capt.JJ He sure can steer a boat around the lake he was MAD MAD  >:( >:( No one had a fish pole
                We sure did have a truly great day  :) :)     


                                                    Sure should have seen 30/30's face though  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Mar 25, 14, 05:23:02 PM
Nice one HB...    ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Montana89 on Mar 25, 14, 05:52:14 PM
America! That's all I can say about that lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 25, 14, 08:01:58 PM
That's funny.  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Mar 25, 14, 08:02:15 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/t1.0-9/1236477_515805335198438_1964740940_n.png)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Mar 25, 14, 08:21:35 PM
love it
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 25, 14, 10:17:08 PM

           
love it

             X2 on that one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Mar 25, 14, 11:16:24 PM
 ;D, I'm going to have to share this one. Thanks CaptJJ.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 26, 14, 03:16:44 AM
A couple is lying in bed, on their 20th wedding anniversary. The woman suddenly feels her husband touching her in ways that he hadn't done in years. He started at her neck, and slowly traced a line downward, past the small of her back. He caressed one shoulder, then the other, and continued down across her breasts, stopping just below her navel.

Next, he placed his hand on her left inner arm, and caressed down her side, stopping at her hip. He started over again on her right side, then brushed gently across her buttocks, and down her leg. As his hand was making its way up the inside of her left leg, he abruptly stopped and rolled over.

She had become very aroused by all of this attention, and asked in a loving voice, "That was amazing, darling. Why did you stop?"

He cleared his throat, looked at her and said "Found the remote."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 26, 14, 03:45:04 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 26, 14, 05:54:13 PM
Two married buddies are out drinking one night at a local bar when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes in the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?' ... and she always acts like she's sound asleep!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 26, 14, 06:23:03 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/t1.0-9/1236477_515805335198438_1964740940_n.png)
TRUE
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Mar 26, 14, 06:24:26 PM
Two married buddies are out drinking one night at a local bar when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes in the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?' ... and she always acts like she's sound asleep!"
another good one...
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 27, 14, 03:26:17 AM
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
 
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
 
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name
 
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
 
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
 
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.
 
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.
 
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
 
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
 
Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
 
Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.
 
Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.
 
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
 
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
 
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
 
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
 
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
 
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
 
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
 
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
 
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch.


Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 27, 14, 03:37:11 AM
hehehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 28, 14, 01:16:09 AM
A US Air Force C-141 is scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last flight. So a message is sent to the base, and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it.

The young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the aircraft, only to find that the latrine pump truck has been left outdoors and is frozen solid, so he must find another one in the hangar, which takes even more time. He returns to the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about what he has to do. Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as to not risk criticism later.

As he's leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, "Son, your attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late, and I'm going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded, but punished."

Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath, stands up tall and says, "Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son; I'm an Airman in the United States Air Force. I've been in Thule, Greenland for 11 months without any leave, and reindeer are beginning to look pretty good to me. I have one stripe; it's two-thirty in the morning, the temperature is 40 degrees below zero and my job here is to pump crap from your aircraft. Now just exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 28, 14, 03:31:04 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 28, 14, 09:49:28 AM


           
Too smart for the First Grade

First grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go to the first grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
 Harry: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What do you have in your pants that I do not have in mine?"
The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question?

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"

Ms. Brooks: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious, and contains thin whitish liquid?"
 Harry: "Coconut"

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Harry: "Bubble gum"

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?"
 The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: "Shake hands"

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth grade, I got the last seven questions wrong."

   

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 28, 14, 10:49:17 AM
nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 28, 14, 01:35:10 PM
Good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Mar 28, 14, 06:41:45 PM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 29, 14, 08:55:23 AM

            An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy Boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection with him. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed,and placed in a cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome- plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.

Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 29, 14, 01:12:17 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 29, 14, 02:34:01 PM

            A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that??!!"

"Oh," replies the husband, "that was my mistress."

The wife says, "That's it; I want a divorce."

"I understand," replies her husband, "but, remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club. But the decision is yours."

Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman. "Who's that woman with Jim? " she asks.

"That's his mistress," replies her husband.

"Ours is prettier," says the wife.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 29, 14, 03:04:45 PM
hehe   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 29, 14, 06:53:49 PM

            A  new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 30, 14, 07:18:30 AM

                 A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
 The man says, "Yes, it is."
 Boy - "I have a baseball."
 Man - "That's nice."
 Boy - "Want to buy it?"
 Man - "No, thanks."
 Boy - "My dad's outside."
 Man - "OK, how much?"
 Boy - "$250"


In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
 Man - "Yes, it is."
 Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
 The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
 Boy - "$750"
 Man - "Fine."




A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" Boy -"$1,000" The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
 The priest says, "Don't start that crap again".
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 30, 14, 03:26:50 PM

         Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't show up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?

"I'm a hit man," was the reply

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her... he's naked as well! The Son Of A Bitch!"

He turned to the hit-man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I do a flat rate - for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

The hit-man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. "Are you going to do it or not?" said the man impatiently.

"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit-man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here..."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Mar 30, 14, 03:38:57 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Mar 30, 14, 03:39:44 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Mar 31, 14, 05:57:56 AM

         
The Retirement Bonus

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired immediately his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points of the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.

The first general was from the Air Force. He asked the pension clerk to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check for $720,000.

The second man, an Army general, asked the pension clerk to measure from the tip of his up-stretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.

The third general was a grizzled old Marine from Texas. He told the pension man "Son, I want you to measure from the tip of my penis all the way to my testicles."

The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received.

The Marine general insisted "No sir, you heard right. Go ahead and measure". The pension expert said that would be OK, but that he'd better get a medical officer to do the measuring.

The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop 'em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he said, "where are your testicles?"

"Vietam," the general replied.
 
   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Mar 31, 14, 07:40:26 AM
nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 01, 14, 05:45:08 AM

            A man walked into a quiet bar. He carried three ducks, one in each hand and one under his left arm. He placed them one beside the other upon the bar. He had a few drinks and chatted with the ducks, and with the bartender.

The bartender was surprised, but experienced and had learned not to ask people about animals they bring into the bar, so he didn't mention the ducks.. They chatted for about another 30 minutes before the man with the ducks had to go to the restroom. He left the ducks there on the bar.

The bartender was alone with the ducks. There was an awkward silence as they all looked at one another. The bartender decided to break the ice and try to make a little conversation.

"Say, what's your name?" he asked the first duck.
 "Huey," replied the first duck.
 "How's your day been, Huey?"
 "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day! What else could a duck want?", said the duck.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender.

Then he said to the second duck, "Hi. And what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey?", he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too! Been in and out of puddles all day myself. If I had the chance another day I'd do the same again!", said the duck in reply.

So the bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?"

"No," she said, "my name is Puddles. And don't even ask what kind of day I've had!"

   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 01, 14, 04:23:29 PM

        CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her.

As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."

Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"

"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.

"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"

"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."

The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"

Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, .. Peter, Peter, something or other..."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 01, 14, 04:41:07 PM
 :D :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 02, 14, 03:46:59 AM

            The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.

Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"

The dying man said nothing.

The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.

The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to piss anyone off."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 02, 14, 03:51:38 AM
I  like  it      ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 02, 14, 07:13:53 AM
good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 02, 14, 06:05:02 PM

        This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and swacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.

He asks, 'What was that for?'

She replies, 'What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?'

He says, 'Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on.'

She is appeased and goes off to work around the house.

Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting. He says, 'What's that for this time?'

She answered, 'Your horse called.'
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 03, 14, 03:32:31 AM
hehehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 03, 14, 04:42:59 PM

While she was flying down the road yesterday (20 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

She replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah?," said the cop, "What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked, to which she politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge........"

Traffic ticket: $95.00
 Court costs: $45.00
 The look on that cop's face: PRICELESS
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Apr 03, 14, 07:33:36 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 04, 14, 03:47:26 AM


               
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking."

The cat thought a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."

God said, "Say no more." Instantly, the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.

The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would never have to run again.

God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller-skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything ok? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"

The cat replied, "Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life! My pillow is fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!"
 
   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Apr 04, 14, 02:49:39 PM
WHY WOMEN MAKE BETTER ASSASSINS
The CIA had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

'We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you find your wife sitting in a chair... kill her!!!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.'

The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said, 'I had to kill him with the chair!'
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 04, 14, 02:53:13 PM
hehehe   good one  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 05, 14, 05:52:08 AM


                                                                   Marriage Humor - from a Man

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.

Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

A man inserted an ad in the classified: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
 
   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 05, 14, 06:03:10 AM
Nice  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Apr 05, 14, 06:30:53 AM
bam the wife in that one.....funny HA HA HA......really they were all good
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 05, 14, 08:15:38 AM
good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 06, 14, 06:33:07 AM
You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home. The house also featured a secret escape tunnel.

 By Southern California standards, someone owning 100,000 rounds is considered "mentally unstable."

 In Michigan, he'd be called "The last white guy still living in Detroit."

 In Arizona, he'd be called "an avid gun collector."

 In Arkansas, he'd be called "a novice gun collector."

 In Utah, he'd be called "moderately well prepared," but they'd probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food."

 In Kansas, he'd be "A guy down the road you would want to have for a friend."

 In Montana, he'd be called "The neighborhood 'Go-To' guy."

 In Idaho, he'd be called "a likely gubernatorial candidate."

 In Georgia, he'd be called "an eligible bachelor."

 In North Carolina, Virginia, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky and South Carolina he would be called "a deer hunting buddy."

 And in Texas he'd just be "Bubba, who's a little short on ammo."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 06, 14, 06:03:19 PM


My husband is 67 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around and could not see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice again, "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there floating on the top was a frog. My husband said, "Are you talking to me?" The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up and kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen and will give you the most wonderful sexual pleasures that you have ever dreamed of."

My husband looked at the frog for a short time and then reached over and picked it up carefully, placing it in his front breast pocket. Then the frog said, "What are you nuts, didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will give you sexual pleasures like you have never had."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Naah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 06, 14, 06:37:35 PM
Like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 07, 14, 03:54:51 AM



                                                          Forgive Your Enemies

Sunday sermon was, "Forgive Your Enemies"

Toward the end of the service, > He asked his congregation, How many of you have forgiven their enemies?

About half held up their hands.

He then repeated his question. As it was past lunchtime, this time about 80 percent held up their hands.

He then repeated his question again. All responded, except one small elderly lady.

"Mrs. Jones?" Inquired the preacher; "Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any." She replied. Smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Jones, That is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-three." She replied.

"Oh Mrs. Jones, what a blessing and a lesson to us all you are. Would you please come down in front of this congregation and tell us all how a person can live ninety-three years and not have an enemy in the world.

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: "I outlived the Bitches".
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Apr 07, 14, 04:47:34 PM
lol I like that one...she gots some spunk
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 07, 14, 04:53:38 PM



                                                                                            Barnyard wisdom

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.

The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.

The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my penis and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

Moral of the Story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Apr 07, 14, 04:55:29 PM
OMG dying over here......I am laughing way to hard........I don't own a bmw or the other things either but this is good
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 07, 14, 06:51:02 PM
Good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Apr 07, 14, 10:28:53 PM
Man Arrested for DUI While Wearing Dumbest Possible Shirt: man-arrested-for-dui-while-wearing-dumbest-possible-shi-1560117447 (http://man-arrested-for-dui-while-wearing-dumbest-possible-shi-1560117447)  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 08, 14, 04:21:55 AM
Good ones   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 08, 14, 04:40:01 AM

            Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked,"What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 08, 14, 06:21:11 AM


                                   I probably would have been watching the dice  :o   hehehe  I lied   nice one Jeff
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 09, 14, 04:56:43 AM


Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparents house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied Granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the ding and out on the dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "he'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 09, 14, 06:39:39 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: buckblaster on Apr 09, 14, 07:03:07 AM
hahahah 30 30 thats a good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Apr 09, 14, 01:20:53 PM
Haha nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Apr 09, 14, 07:24:15 PM
hahahahahahahahahahahaha/......your too funny 30
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 10, 14, 05:52:51 AM

A priest and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on an airplane.

After a while the priest turns to the rabbi and asks, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?" The rabbi responds, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs".

The priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replies, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."

The rabbi nodded understandingly. He was silent for about five minutes, and then he said, "Beats the Crap out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 10, 14, 03:18:11 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 11, 14, 03:30:13 AM


A man went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a female patron. He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating."

"What a coincidence," said the woman, "I'm celebrating too".

She clinked glasses with him and said, "What are you celebrating?"

"I'm a chicken farmer," he replied. "For months all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile."

"What a coincidence," the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant.

How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked.

"I switched cocks." he replied.

"What a coincidence," she said
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 11, 14, 06:21:04 AM
 ;D ;D  Nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Apr 11, 14, 08:13:38 AM
HaHa!! :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 11, 14, 09:03:41 AM


At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.







The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.  Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society.  'In fact', he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society'.

After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, 'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'

'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery, asked the couple?

'Because I am the artist, who painted the picture,' he replied.  'In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.'
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 11, 14, 03:29:35 PM
hehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Apr 11, 14, 03:46:54 PM
good...... ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 12, 14, 06:02:30 AM


An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra.

The pharmacist asked, "How many?"

The man Replied, "Just a few, maybe a half dozen. I cut each one into four pieces."

Upon hearing that the pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. That won't get you through sex."

The old fellow said, "Oh, I'm past ninety years old, and I don't even think about sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't Pee on my shoes."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 12, 14, 08:14:05 AM
hahaha  nice one  :D :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 13, 14, 05:15:39 AM


One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.

"Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night." the mailman comments.

Bob in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for Christmas Cheer and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I."

The mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?"

Well all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our "privates" showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."

The mailman laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."

"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up four or five times."  ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 13, 14, 07:20:46 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 14, 14, 07:55:11 AM


A man escapes from prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it. Looking for money and guns, he only finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife,"Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner. Look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. He must be dangerous. If he gets angry, he will kill us.Be strong honey.I love you."
To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong honey, I love you too."

 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 14, 14, 11:32:15 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Apr 14, 14, 08:14:25 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi177.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fw203%2Flgsalmon%2Fvenisonvsbeef_zps2f136322.jpg&hash=3b20a196178bce247d53baf4b4268a1c)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Apr 14, 14, 08:20:54 PM
OMG...lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 15, 14, 07:23:53 AM

 
      Wow  ... It  has to be taste buds are tasting beer    :-\   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 15, 14, 09:08:37 AM


A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.

The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist."

That's when the proctologist fainted.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 15, 14, 03:53:26 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 16, 14, 02:37:54 PM

           
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the Pennsylvania State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball". He replied, "Pennsylvania State Troopers don't have balls". There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.
 
   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mt.perchman on Apr 16, 14, 04:35:19 PM
Funny as always thanks everyone .
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 16, 14, 04:57:04 PM
Where you come up with them  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 17, 14, 03:49:48 AM

       These are true statements, and are still funny


While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

. . . . . . . She also votes!

I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting! to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

. . . . . . He also votes!

So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the admin assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

. . . . . She also votes!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

. . . . . My sister also votes!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

. . . . . He also votes!

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

. . . . . My friend also votes!

My girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place last week and she asked the clerk which of two sandwiches was better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first sandwich was more expensive. My girlfriend got a quizzical look on her face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the same price on the menu?" To this, the clerk responded, "I don't think we add tax to the turkey."

. . . . The clerk also votes!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

. . . . . She also votes!
 
   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 17, 14, 05:54:56 AM
hehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mt.perchman on Apr 17, 14, 06:36:54 AM
LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 17, 14, 01:39:12 PM

         
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a four-hour operation.

A young nurse comes in to sponge his hands and feet. "Nurse", he mumbles groggily from behind the oxygen mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet".

He struggles again to ask, "Please tell me, are my testicles black?" Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his privates and jiggles them around a bit, takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask and says very slowly, "That was very nice but listen very, very closely to me, are ... my ... test ... results ... back?
 
   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 17, 14, 02:11:53 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 17, 14, 03:11:19 PM
good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mt.perchman on Apr 17, 14, 06:12:21 PM
My ribs are hurting!!!
Keep them coming!   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 18, 14, 07:12:49 AM


The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: "There's a car being towed from the parking lot" he shouted. A few moments passed .. "An ambulance just drove by" A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company", he called out.

"Matt's riding a new bike....."

"The Coopers are having sex!"

Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously asked, "How do you know they are having sex?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 18, 14, 07:27:52 AM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 18, 14, 04:32:07 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 19, 14, 08:09:10 AM


A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him, and finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says..."I would have gotten out today."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 19, 14, 10:16:07 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 19, 14, 04:10:37 PM



A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"

"Yes officer, I'm just fine!" the blonde chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ..."

"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off. "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth".
 
   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 19, 14, 04:16:51 PM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 20, 14, 05:16:43 AM



I needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.

He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her"...And where do you think you're going?"

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"
 
   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 20, 14, 07:32:09 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mt.perchman on Apr 20, 14, 07:02:18 PM
Thanks as always there great . Keep them coming ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 21, 14, 04:28:08 AM

            There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses!

I thought the results were pretty interesting:

85% of women think their ass is too big...

10% of women think their ass is too little...

The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they would have married him anyway.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 21, 14, 06:14:56 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Apr 21, 14, 06:37:04 AM
I got called an ass a few times this weekend...   ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 21, 14, 07:46:09 AM
I got called an ass a few times this weekend...   ::) ::) ::)
              Sorry to hear that Dom.  :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 21, 14, 04:34:10 PM

                     :o :o       :-X    :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mt.perchman on Apr 21, 14, 09:15:43 PM
Wife and I are laughing !!!!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 22, 14, 02:44:12 AM

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 22, 14, 06:00:41 AM
hehehe   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 22, 14, 04:34:35 PM

A little girl asked her mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

Mom replies, "No because she is in heat."

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with petrol and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "I've heard that's supposed to work. Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.

Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

The little girl said, "She ran out of petrol about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 22, 14, 05:10:06 PM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 23, 14, 04:46:05 AM

•The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
•The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
•The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans
•The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
•The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
 
CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 23, 14, 06:15:36 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mt.perchman on Apr 23, 14, 06:16:12 PM
LOL   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Apr 23, 14, 09:23:02 PM
(https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.ning.com%2Ffiles%2FIlN0UevPKmbmE0XCsWvj3TnodymO8CGpxsDMghv6%2AaZ3IunwBMdMsFf9FThw0YYp5UU8KO1eM7Gab69%2A5uXXTiDH-Bp72Ewo%2FFunny.jpg%3Fwidth%3D737%26amp%3Bheight%3D552&hash=704bab5e79b271aedf740c312373708d)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 24, 14, 03:57:54 AM

             That's funny Steve! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 24, 14, 04:20:37 AM

                  This story is similar to one told before with a different twist.

Two couples were playing Poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he notice Bill's wife Sue spread her legs wide, and wasn't wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John, upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments.

Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything you liked under there?"

Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well, indeed he did.

She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500."

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial as well as the moral costs of this offer, John indicates that he is indeed interested. She tells him that since her husband, Bill, works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, that John should be at her house around 2:00 Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house for the planned time with Sue at 2:00pm sharp and after paying her the agreed sum of $500, they went to the bedroom and closed their sexual transaction as Sue had promised. Afterwards, John quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bill came home from work at 6:00pm and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly, "Did John come by the house this afternoon?"

A little worried, Bill's wife answered, "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon."

Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?"

In terror, she assumed that somehow he had found out, and after mustering up her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500."

Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 24, 14, 05:03:59 AM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 24, 14, 07:05:00 AM
hehehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: mt.perchman on Apr 24, 14, 07:29:26 PM
LOL
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Apr 24, 14, 09:27:01 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/t1.0-9/10254035_729010323810029_409224803198419569_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Apr 24, 14, 09:51:14 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 25, 14, 04:14:03 AM


REDNECK ETIQUETTE

LIFE SKILLS
1.Never take a beer to a job interview.
2.Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3.It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
4.If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5.Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

DINING OUT
1.If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.
2.Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1.A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2.Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1.While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
2.Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3.Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

DATING (Outside the Family)
1.Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2.Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago." (Always a good opener)
3.Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
4.Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such as,"ya'll sure don't sweat much for a fat broad."

WEDDINGS
1.Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2.Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3.For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance.
4.Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
5.It is not appropriate to tell the groom how good his wife is in the sack.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1.Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2.When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3.Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4.When sending your friend down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5.Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
6.Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession
 
   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 25, 14, 05:28:23 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 26, 14, 03:57:58 AM

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten." So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span". Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years." Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

Life has now been explained.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 26, 14, 06:01:25 AM
  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 26, 14, 04:50:10 PM

Hope that this will once again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the Internet, but from a mentor, and on a very personal level.

My long-passed grandfather's birthday is coming up, and for me it is a time to reminisce.. The long walks we used to take. The long drives, the special trips he would make to pick me up so I could spend weekends with him, and the advice he used to give!

Much was wasted because I was young when he died. If he were alive today and sharing his pearls of wisdom, I'd be a better man. Those gems were well and good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice, came when I was only 12 .

We were sitting in a park, watching children and their mothers enjoying a beautiful spring day. He told me that one day, I'd find a woman and start my own family. "And son," he said, "be sure you marry a woman with small hands.."

"How come, Grandpa?" I asked.

"It makes your pecker look bigger."

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 26, 14, 05:59:55 PM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 26, 14, 06:11:59 PM
 ;D ;D  ;)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 27, 14, 08:25:14 AM

                                                       THE TRAIN


A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now cause this is the last stop!! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train cause were going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We dont sue that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."

She heard her little darling continue: "For those of you just boarding, remember there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
 
   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 27, 14, 09:38:13 AM
love it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 27, 14, 02:36:25 PM
Good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 27, 14, 04:39:57 PM

                                                                           Gotta Love Senior Citizens

A college student at a recent USC football game challenged a senior citizen sitting next to him, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his. "You grew up in a different world," the student said, loud enough for the whole crowd to hear.

"Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, man has walked on the Moon, our spaceships have visited Mars, we even have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing ... and uh.."

Taking advantage of a pause in the student's litany, the geezer said, "You're right. We didn't have those things when we were young; so we invented them, you little twit! What the hell are you doing for the next generation??"

I Love Senior Citizens!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 27, 14, 08:02:51 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 28, 14, 03:24:24 AM

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, "I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.


And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, " I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."


And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.


After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.


And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.


And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.


And Cat didn't give a crap one way or the other.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 28, 14, 06:45:07 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 29, 14, 04:29:09 AM

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game.

You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted.

My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed
 Your Rich As Hell and Free Ex-husband!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 29, 14, 06:28:20 AM
 :D :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Apr 29, 14, 07:29:38 AM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 29, 14, 05:42:24 PM

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me!" she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?"

"Feels great" he replied, "but I still think my thumb's broken."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Apr 29, 14, 07:33:10 PM
lol....lol
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 29, 14, 07:58:54 PM
Nicee hehehe   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 30, 14, 04:30:22 AM

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time ..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A young family moved into a house. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the vacant lot next door. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those a--holes at Home Depot ever deliver the freak;n sheet rock."

Kind of brings a tear to the eye.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 30, 14, 06:43:15 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Apr 30, 14, 03:33:41 PM

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with
 grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

**Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will
 roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

 **Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly
 proportional to the stupidity of your act.

 **Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get
 a busy signal; someone always answers.

 **Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one
 you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

 **Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the
 telephone will ring.

 **Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you
 know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want
 to be seen with.

 **Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a
 machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

 **Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
> > > proportional to the reach.
 ***Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people
 whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They
 are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for
 food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the
 performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come
 early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and
 stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

 ***The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
 your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

 ***Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker
 room, they will have adjacent lockers.

 ***Law of Physical Surfaces -

 The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a
 floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
 ***Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know
 what you are talking about.

 *** Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

 ***Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

 ***Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a
 product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
 ***Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go
 to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But
 don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick!
 


Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 30, 14, 06:07:31 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 01, 14, 04:28:13 AM


A guy goes to the U.S. post office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Have you been in the service?"

"Yes," he says. "I was in Vietnam for three years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward Employment." and then asks, "are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "yes 100%........a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."

The interviewer tells the guy, "Okay. I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00am to 4:00pm. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00am."

The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm then why do you want me to come in at 10:00 am?"

"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours we stand around scratching our balls.........no point in you coming in for that!
 
   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 01, 14, 05:36:53 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 02, 14, 07:48:05 AM

THINGS TO PONDER


When I die, I want to go like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.

A young man was sitting in class when the professor asked him if he knew what the Roe vs. Wade decision was. He sat quietly, pondering this profound question. Finally, after giving it a lot of thought, he sighed and said, "I think this was the decision George Washington made prior to crossing the Delaware."

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.. 30,000 to a man's 15,000 words. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because a woman has to say everything twice." The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain it to you. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 02, 14, 02:48:41 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 03, 14, 08:42:04 AM


                                                      Things You May Not Know

1. Money isn't made out of paper; it's made out of cotton.

2. The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottle represents the varieties of pickle the company once had.

3. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks - otherwise it will digest itself (eeww).

4. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

5. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a "tittle".

6. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

7. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

8. A duck's quack doesn't echo ... no one knows why.

9. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

10. Every person has a unique tongue print (no licking at the scene or a crime!).

11. 315 entries in Web! ster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

12. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was albino.

13. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.

14. During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a small red car can be seen in the distance.

15. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

16. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.

17. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

18. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).

19. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

20. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

21. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters

22. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time ( ... and multi-tasking was invented).

23. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

24. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

25. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan, there was never a recorded Wendy before!

26. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!

27. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

28. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

29. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

30. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar ( ... good to know ...).

31. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless).

32. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb (sign of a true civilized society ... not).

33. American Airlines saved $40,000 in '87 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class.

34. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

35. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples! (guess what I'm buying on my next trip to the grocery store!)

36. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

37. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

38. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

39. Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator game.

40. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space! Because passing wind in a space suit damages the suit

 

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 03, 14, 11:06:47 AM
Interesting   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 04, 14, 07:30:10 AM

                                Snappy answers

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 04, 14, 01:15:30 PM
haha  :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 05, 14, 02:11:25 PM



                                                                               11 of Life's Most Importaint Rules

Rule 1: Life is not fair - - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping-they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life..

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.


One more thing to note: Life is all about ass, you're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, or trying to get a piece of it.

   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 05, 14, 02:57:56 PM


Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers, those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed "You're all wrong, politicians are the easiest to operate on." "There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the butt are interchangeable
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 05, 14, 04:15:32 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on May 05, 14, 04:31:30 PM
isn't  that the truth
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 06, 14, 03:20:26 AM


George and Laura Bush and Bill and Hilary Clinton are traveling by train to the Super Bowl. At the station George and Laura each buy a ticket and watch as Bill and Hilary buy just one ticket. "How are the two of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks George W, astonished at what he is seeing.

"Watch and learn," answers Hilary. They all board the train. George and Laura take their respective seats but Bill and Hilary cram into a toilet together and close the door. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please" The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Bushes see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea, so after the game they decide to try a similar plan on the return trip. When they get to the station they see the Clinton's at the window buying a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Clinton's see that the Bushes don't buy any ticket at all. "Aren't you taking a terrible chance by traveling without a ticket?" says Hilary. "Live and learn," answers Laura Bush.

When they board the train the Bushes cram themselves into a toilet and the Clinton's cram into another toilet just down the way.

Shortly after the train leaves the station, George W. leaves their toilet and walks over to the Clinton's toilet, knocks on their door and says, "Ticket, please."

And you're still trying to figure out how the Democrats lost that election.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 06, 14, 04:32:39 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 07, 14, 02:55:08 AM

One sunny day in 2005, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.

He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry."

The Marine replied, "Sir, Mr. Kerry is not President and doesn't reside here."

The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry"

The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Kerry is not President and doesn't reside here."

The man thanked him and again walked away..

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with president Kerry."

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Kerry. I've told you already that Mr. Kerry is not the President and doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?"

The old man answered, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow."

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 07, 14, 04:50:28 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 08, 14, 04:30:37 AM

Physicians:


A.The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
B.Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
C.Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.


Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Health Human Services.

Guns:


A.The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. Yes, that is 80 million.
B.The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups is 1,500.
C.The number of accidental deaths pre gun owner is 0.000188.


Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."

Fact: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on May 08, 14, 06:37:36 AM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 08, 14, 03:59:28 PM
 Nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on May 08, 14, 07:37:15 PM
good,good, good..
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 09, 14, 03:47:32 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 09, 14, 04:11:58 AM


                                                           Little Known Facts about State Laws
1.In Oklahoma, dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate on private property in groups of three or more.
2.In Minnesota, it is illegal to cross state lines with duck on your head.
3.It is illegal to walk down a street in Maine with your shoelaces untied.
4.In Los Angeles, it is unlawful to hunt for moths under a street light.
5.In Pennsylvania, it is illegal for a man to purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.
6.In Alaska, it is illegal to look at a moose from the window of an aircraft or another flying vehicle. It is also illegal to push a live moose out of a moving aircraft.
7.In Nebraska, a parent can be arrested if his or her child can't hold back a burp during a church service. While in Alabama it is illegal to wear a false moustache which causes laughter in church.
8.In Idaho, a citizen is forbidden by law to give another citizen a box of candy that weights more than 50 lbs.
9.In Texas it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
10.In Huntington West Virginia, it's legal to beat your wife so long as it's done in public on a Sunday-and on the courthouse steps.
11.In Ohio, women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
12.In North Dakota, it is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
13.By law, everybody in Vermont must take at least one bath a week.
14.No store in Providence, Rhode Island, is allow to sell a toothbrush on Sunday. But they can sell toothpaste and mouthwash on the Sabbath.
15.In Atlanta Georgia, it is forbidden to dress a mannequin without first pulling down the window blinds. It is also illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
16.In Washington state, all lollipops are banned.
17.An unmarried woman may not parachute on Sunday in Florida.
18.In Kansas, it is against the law to catch fish with your bare hands. It's also illegle to bring a whale in the state on a flat car.
19.In Milwaukee, residents must keep pet elephants on a leash while walking them on public streets.
20.In Atwoodville, Connecticut, it is illegal to play Scrabble while waiting for a politician to speak.
21.In Muncie Indiana, it is illegal to carry fishing tackle in a cemetery.
22.In New York, a fine of $25 may still be levied for flirting. This old law prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking at a woman in that way. A second conviction for this offense requires the offender to wear a pair of racehorse blinders whenever he goes out.
23.A law in Kirkland, Illinois, forbids bees from flying over the town.
24.In Michigan, a man legally owns his wife's hair.
25.It is illegal to gargle in public in Louisiana.
26.In Iowa, it is illegal for a kiss to last more than five minutes.
27.It is illegal to carry an ice-cream cone in your pocket in Kentucky.
28.In Massachusetts, mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
29. It is against the law in Boston to slurp your soup in a restaurant on Sundays.
30.And finally, don't forget that you can be fined up to $500 in Chico California for detonating a nuclear device within the city limits!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 09, 14, 04:02:44 PM
 ;D ;D    I'm guilty of quite a few of them    :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 09, 14, 04:37:30 PM
;D ;D    I'm guilty of quite a few of them    :)
             It figures. ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on May 09, 14, 08:10:43 PM
I'm not moving to Vermont.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 10, 14, 03:59:31 AM


                                                                                         Great Comeback

This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?


You've gotta love the Marines!!!!!!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 10, 14, 05:46:25 AM
 ;D ;D   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 11, 14, 05:24:19 AM

                                                                 Twelve Days

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my potential-acquaintance-rape-survivor gave to me,

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming.

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note...)

TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen nonhuman animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,

(NOTE: after member of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,

THREE deconstructionist poets,

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses

and a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 11, 14, 06:44:24 AM
nice    ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 12, 14, 07:19:53 PM


TWO NUNS WERE SHOPPING AT A 7-11 STORE. AS THEY PASSED  BY THE BEER COOLER, ONE NUN SAID TO THE OTHER, " WOULDN'T A NICE COOL BEER OR  TWO TASTE WONDERFUL ON A HOT SUMMER EVENING?"

THE SECOND NUN ANSWERED,  "INDEED IT WOULD, SISTER, BUT I WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE BUYING BEER, SINCE I  AM CERTAIN IT WOULD CAUSE A SCENE AT THE CHECKOUT STAND."

"I CAN HANDLE  THAT WITHOUT A PROBLEM" THE OTHER NUN REPLIED, AND SHE PICKED UP A SIX-PACK AND  HEADED FOR THE CHECK-OUT.

THE CASHIER HAD A SURPRISED LOOK ON HIS FACE  WHEN THE TWO NUNS ARRIVED WITH A SIX-PACK OF BEER. "WE USE BEER FOR WASHING OUR  HAIR" THE NUN SAID, "BACK AT OUR NUNNERY, WE CALL IT CATHOLIC SHAMPOO."

WITHOUT BLINKING AN EYE, THE CASHIER REACHED UNDER THE COUNTER. PULLED  OUT A PACKAGE OF PRETZEL STICKS, AND PLACED THEM IN THE BAG WITH THE BEER. HE THEN LOOKED THE NUN STRAIGHT IN THE EYE, SMILED, AND SAID: "THE  CURLERS  ARE ON THE HOUSE
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 13, 14, 02:38:08 AM


                                                                 Questions for people that know everything
1.Can you cry under water?
2.How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
3.If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
4.Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
5.Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
6.Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
7.Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
8.What disease did cured ham actually have?
9.How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
10.Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
11.If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
12.If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
13.Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
14.Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
15.How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
16.Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
17.If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
18.Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
19.Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
20.Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Or Watch a white thing come out a chicken rear and think,"that ought to taste good"
21.Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
22.Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
23.When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
24.If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
25.Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
26.If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
27.Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
28.Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
29.What do you call male ballerinas?
30.Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
31.If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
32.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
33.If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
34.Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
35.Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
36.Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
37.Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
38.Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets Mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
 
   
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 13, 14, 04:08:10 AM
Both are nice ones
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on May 13, 14, 05:03:23 AM
39. Why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 14, 14, 03:54:38 AM
Good one  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on May 14, 14, 08:48:10 PM
The song-Lost in the desert with a horse with no name,,,don't you think you would name that friggen horse if you were lost with him,,
hmmm

                                                                 Questions for people that know everything
1.Can you cry under water?
2.How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
3.If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
4.Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
5.Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
6.Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
7.Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
8.What disease did cured ham actually have?
9.How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
10.Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
11.If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
12.If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
13.Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
14.Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
15.How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
16.Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
17.If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
18.Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
19.Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
20.Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Or Watch a white thing come out a chicken rear and think,"that ought to taste good"
21.Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
22.Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
23.When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
24.If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
25.Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
26.If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
27.Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
28.Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
29.What do you call male ballerinas?
30.Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
31.If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
32.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
33.If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
34.Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
35.Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
36.Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
37.Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
38.Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets Mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
 
 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 15, 14, 04:50:56 AM


One night a burglar is trying to break into a house. He's sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice - "Jesus is watching you!" He jumps, turns around, but he doesn't see anything. So he starts creeping across the lawn again. "Jesus is watching you!" He hears it again. So now the burglar is really looking around, and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the house. He says to the parrot, "Did you say that?" The parrot answers "Yes I did." So the burglar asks, "What's your name?" The parrot says "Clarence." The burglar says "What kind of stupid idiot would name his parrot Clarence?" The parrot laughs and says, "The same stupid idiot that named his Rottweiler 'Jesus' "

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on May 15, 14, 05:29:58 AM
nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 16, 14, 03:25:59 AM

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 16, 14, 03:38:58 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on May 16, 14, 05:45:42 AM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 16, 14, 06:17:01 PM

After the marriage the bride put a box next to her bed and told her husband never to open and check, what’s inside of it. 40 years passed and the husband impatiently opened the box and found there 3 empty bottles of beer and 14000$.
In the evening during the dinner he tells his wife:
- Darling, I have to admit, I opened the box. Would you explain why there are 3 bottles?
- You see, whenever I cheated on you, I emptied a bottle of beer and put it in a box…
The husband gives it a pause and thinks: well, 3 time, that isn’t so much…
- And why do you keep the 14000$ there?
- Well, when the bottles do not fit in the box, I return them and get back the deposit.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on May 16, 14, 06:49:35 PM
like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 17, 14, 05:26:41 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on May 17, 14, 11:27:03 AM
 :o ;D ;D

(https://scontent-1.2914.fna.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/t1.0-9/1510707_390885734390383_1893529837_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 17, 14, 02:52:58 PM


     hahaha    ;D ;D    Nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on May 17, 14, 09:10:25 PM
If dogs could text.

http://fillthewell.com/if-dogs-could-text/ (http://fillthewell.com/if-dogs-could-text/)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on May 17, 14, 09:21:03 PM
A farmer and his wife were lying in bed..
The farmer takes his hand and puts it on his wife's breasts and says "honey if these things gave enough milk we could get rid of all those cows"..
Than he takes his hand and puts it down below and says "honey if this thing popped out eggs we could get rid of all those chickens"..
The wife takes her hand and puts it on his junk and says
"honey if this worked we could fire your brother"..     ;D ;D ;D :o :o :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 18, 14, 06:23:22 AM


         I love it Dom    ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on May 18, 14, 07:36:16 AM
good one. 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 18, 14, 05:42:42 PM

A sucessful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life in the big city and decides to chuck it all. He takes his savings and purchases a large ranch in the middle of nowhere in Montana. After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude he hears the drumming of hoofbeats outside his cabin. Grabbing his rifle he challenges the man riding up on the horse. "Hold it neighbor" the man says, " I'm your neighbor, I have a ranch only 6 miles from here, and I want to invite you to a Welcome Party I'm throwing for you next Saturday. There's going to be music, dancing, hugging, kissing, drinking, fighting.... We'll have a great time". Not wanting to be unneighborly the new rancher lowers the rifle and ask's " How should I dress?" " Aw, don't matter" replied the neighbor, " Only gonna be the two of us".

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 19, 14, 03:43:54 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 19, 14, 04:54:43 AM

At breakfast the husband says to his wife "What would you do if I won the Lottery?".
 
And she replied:  "I'd take my half and leave you".
 
"Great" he says.  "Here's $6.00.  I won $12.00 yesterday!  Stay in touch".
 
 
 
 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on May 19, 14, 07:53:49 AM
(https://scontent-1.2914.fna.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1.0-9/10268671_652907611443532_9019617786196149666_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 19, 14, 05:25:49 PM

 A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands. "At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works - hell, even the urinal's gold!" The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story. "Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone. "Yes it is," bartender answers. "Do you have huge golden doors?" "Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?" "Most certainly do." "What about golden urinals?" There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that peed in your saxophone last night!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 20, 14, 03:55:15 AM

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails , he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?" He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They ended up spending the night together. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, "Come on guys, we're almost there!!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on May 20, 14, 05:33:44 PM
(https://scontent-1.2914.fna.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1.0-9/10365873_772283096138538_558191960362532418_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on May 20, 14, 07:50:15 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 21, 14, 03:14:57 AM

It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class. The teacher told the class that each student could tell the class 1 thing they got for Christmas. So, the teacher calls on a girl to come up to the front of the class and tell everyone 1 thing she got. "My daddy got me a Bow-Wow," she said. The teacher tells the class that they are old enough to know the correct words for things without using nicknames. The teacher tells the girl to try again. The girl thinks real hard ........ "My dad got me a dog," she said. She sat down and a boy got up and said, "I got a choo-choo!" The teacher scolded him and told him to try again. The boy thought hard and said, "I got an electric train!!" That boy sits down and a really shy kid gets up and sadly says, "I got a book" The teacher feels bad for the kid and she asks, "What was the title of the book??" The boy thinks very hard. The class waits as the boy is thinking. Finally, the boys face brightened and he said, "Winnie The Sh*t!!

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on May 21, 14, 11:44:12 AM
(https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/t1.0-9/253261_10151387239856345_1469540621_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on May 21, 14, 11:52:40 AM
Boy, that's a mouthful!   :o 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 21, 14, 05:39:00 PM

         I use to be a "T" shirt in another life. hehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on May 21, 14, 06:06:06 PM
My mouth isn't big enough... 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on May 22, 14, 10:07:45 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/t1.0-9/10313056_834758546545158_3370950859765914375_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on May 22, 14, 12:07:29 PM
Smh. Hopefully this person is sterile
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on May 22, 14, 12:18:41 PM
 ;D

(https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/t1.0-9/10152512_667567583292945_7539088837243038196_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 22, 14, 01:01:12 PM

A red neck walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The red neck is suitably impressed, and buys it. The next day he brings it back and says, "This chainsaw is defective. It would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAMN DAY!" The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what's wrong, and the red neck asks, "What's that noise?

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 23, 14, 03:26:38 PM
;D

(https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/t1.0-9/10152512_667567583292945_7539088837243038196_n.jpg)
Really Really Nice Nice  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 24, 14, 03:33:51 PM
A man passed away and went to Heaven. Upon arriving at the
 pearly gates, St. Peter said, "Come on in. I'll show you around.
 I really think you'll like it here." Walking through the gates,
 the man noticed that there were clocks everywhere. It appeared
 that Heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.
 
 Surprised at how Heaven looked, the man asked St. Peter, "What's
 the deal with all the clocks?"

 St. Peter replied, "They keep track of everybody on earth.
 There is one clock for each person. Every time someone tells a lie,
 his clock moves forward one minute. For instance, this clock belongs to
 Sam, a used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move any
 second." Click. The minute hand on Sam's clock moved forward one
 minute. Click. It moved forward another minute. "Sam must be closing on
 a deal right now," said St. Peter. "The minute hand on his clock moves
 all day long."

 The man and St. Peter continued walking and soon came across a
 clock covered with cobwebs. "Whose clock is this?" asked the man.
 
 "That clock belongs to the Widow Mary. She is one of the finest
 persons on earth. I bet her clock hasn't moved in a year or two."

 They continued walking and touring Heaven. The man enjoyed watching
 the clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finally finished, the man
 said, "I've seen everyone's clock but one. Where is President Obama's
 kept?" St. Peter smiled and said, "Look up there. We use his for a
 ceiling fan."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 24, 14, 05:54:34 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: BowHunterDan on May 24, 14, 06:01:45 PM
 ;D ;D ;D! Shouldn't that be Obama's clock by now? ;)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 25, 14, 05:56:12 AM
;D ;D ;D! Shouldn't that be Obama's clock by now? ;)
            Dan, it's a done deal. Reread it. ;)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 25, 14, 06:11:33 AM
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I've got a special game for you. I'll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: “Paint my house.”
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 25, 14, 06:14:06 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: BowHunterDan on May 25, 14, 07:46:12 AM
            Dan, it's a done deal. Reread it. ;)
;D ;D ;D!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 26, 14, 05:48:02 AM

A Jewish guy goes into a confession box. “Father O'Malley,” he says, “my name is Emil Cohen. I'm seventy eight years old. Believe it or not, I'm currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I've never felt better.” “My good man,” says the priest, “I think you've come to the wrong place. Why are you telling me?” And the guy goes: “I'm telling everybody!”
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 26, 14, 06:21:14 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on May 26, 14, 08:29:29 AM
Haha nice one Jeff
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 26, 14, 08:56:13 AM

 Little boy: Mommy, how I born, was I downloaded.
            Mother:    No you wen't downloaded, go ask your father.

            A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!  Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.  Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.  We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other.  There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.  As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared. 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 26, 14, 12:05:21 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 27, 14, 05:37:38 AM
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: You don't they're born that way!

Q: What do blondes do they comb their hair?

A: They pull up their pants!

Q: Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?

A: Because it said "concentrate"!

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

A: Very Gifted!

Q : How can you tell a blonde has been using your computer?

A : There is white-out all over the computer screen!

Q : What do blondes and turtles have in common?

A : When they're on their backs, they're screwed.

Q: Why don't blondes have elavator jobs?

A: They don't know the route!

Q: How do blonde braincells die?

A: Alone!

Q: How do you give a blonde a brain transplant?

A: Blow in her ear!

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday!

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?

A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions!

Q : How do you really confuse a blonde?

A : Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner!

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?

A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out!

Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?

A: T*ts go in front!

Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?

A: Toes go in first!

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?

A: Because everybody gets a turn!!

Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?

A: Flattered!

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?

A: Tell her she's pregnant!

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

A: Trying to hold on to a thought!

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run...she's got a hand grenade in her mouth!

Q: Why did the blonde climb over the chain link fence?

A: To see what was on the other side!

Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

A: She heard that the drinks were on the house!

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?

A: Third Grade!

Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

A: For throwing out the W's!

Q : What goes "vroom - screech | vroom-screech | vroom-screech"?

A : A blonde at a blinking red light.

Q: What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brunette?

A: Artificial intellegence

Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?

A: They always forget the recipe!

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?

A: It took her 2 weeks to figure out that you could play it at night!

Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?

A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold!

Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the # 11???

A: She didn't know which 1 came first!

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the fish?

A: She tried to drown it!

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?

A: She threw it off a cliff!

Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?

A: There is a stamp on it!

Q: Why do blondes like lightning?

A: They think someone is taking their picture!

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?

A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads!

Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?

A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees!

Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?

A: Reservations!

Q: There are three third grade girls, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Which one has the biggest tits?

A: The blonde.... she's 18!

Q: What do you get when you put 20 blonde's ear to ear?

A: A WIND TUNNEL! Q: How do you drown a dumb blonde?

A:Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool!

Q : how did the blonde wreck the hellicopter?

A : she got cold and turned off the fan.

Q : What did the blondes right leg say to her left leg?

A : Nothing, they've never met!

Q. How do you know when a blonde has been in your fridge?

A. there's lipstick on all the cucumbers.

Q:What do you call a blonde behind the steering wheel?

A: An airbag.

Q : What was the blonde doing up in the tree?

A : She was raking leaves.

Q : How can you tell a blonde has been in the bathroom?

A : There is make-up all over the mirror

Q : What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

A :You pick it up, pull the pin, and throw it back!!!

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

A: If you smack the blonde she blonde she keeps on sucking!

Q.How does a blonde turn on a light after have sex?

A.She opens a car door.

Q.Why can't blondes make kool-aid?

A.They don't understand how to get the 2 quarts of water into the little package.

Q.What did the blonde say to her boyfriend after he blew in her ear?

A.Thanks for the refill. There was a blonde and brunette walking through the woods. The brunette pointed and said look a dead bird the blonde looked up and asked, "where??".

Q: Three people were walking down the street. Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde. They all saw a ten dollar bill on the sidewalk. Who got it?

A: The dumb blonde got it because the other two are fictional




Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on May 27, 14, 06:20:52 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t1.0-9/10299929_956232354406218_2717458223831272383_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 27, 14, 06:40:49 PM

           That's funny JJ. ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 28, 14, 02:47:27 PM

An old guy and his son had a one-mule farm where they eked out a living. One day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000. He rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried back home, where he told his father the good news, and handed him $50 bill.


The father looked at the money for a moment and then said, "Son, you know I've always been careful with what little money we had. I didn't spend it on whiskey or women. In fact, I couldn't even afford a license to legally marry your Ma."


"Pa!" the son exclaims, "do you know what that makes me?"


"Sure do," said the old guy fingering the fifty-dollar bill. "And a damn cheap one, too."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on May 28, 14, 03:14:16 PM
like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 29, 14, 05:19:48 AM

Even When They Lie, Women are Noble - Gerald McEathron

 One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?"

 The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.

 The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

 The seamstress replied, "No."

 The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

 Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

 The Lord reached down again and came up with a simple leather thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

 The seamstress replied, "Yes."

 The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

 Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When the seamstress cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?"

 "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

 The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.

 "Yes!" cried the seamstress.

 The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

 The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

 And so the Lord let her keep him.

 The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and is always in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

 Signed, A Women.


Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 30, 14, 04:56:04 AM

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on May 30, 14, 05:39:11 AM
good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 30, 14, 04:03:40 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on May 31, 14, 03:06:45 AM

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....” 

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on May 31, 14, 04:35:29 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: BowHunterDan on Jun 01, 14, 04:44:42 AM
Must have been blonde?  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 01, 14, 05:33:00 AM



A cowboy from Texas attended a social function where Barack Obama was trying to gather support for his re-election.  When Obama discovered the cowboy was from President Bush's home area, he started to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.                                                                                                                                                                         
As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.  The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"

Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."

"Well, sir," the cowboy replies, "Circle flies hang around ranches.  They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

"Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling.  But a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?"

"No, sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their president a horse's ass."

"That's a good thing," Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says,"Hard to fool them flies, though." 















































































































Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 01, 14, 05:46:42 AM
 ;D ;D  nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: HFNYO09 on Jun 01, 14, 09:48:53 AM
Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.
So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."
"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.
"I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!" So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected a sign that said:
SLOW--SCHOOL CROSSING
Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school
crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster."
So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign:
SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY
That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and called
and called every day for three weeks. Finally, he asked the
sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?"
The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign." He was going to let the Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling every day to complain.
The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John.
Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?"
"Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." He hung up the phone.
The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign... it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers..." So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spray-painted on a sheet of wood:
NUDIST COLONY
GO SLOW AND WATCH OUT FOR THE CHICKS

 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 01, 14, 10:55:04 AM
like it
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 01, 14, 12:27:56 PM
hahaha    ;D ;D   Good  one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 02, 14, 07:40:30 AM

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

 First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:

 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

 "Can you read this?" the optician asked.

 "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 02, 14, 10:31:55 AM
you have to love the polish
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Jun 02, 14, 11:55:45 AM
Now that's a good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 03, 14, 05:58:22 AM

A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal shop.

 From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop!"

 So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex."

 Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them. He was satisfied with things they way they were. The Jamaican quickly figured out the wife felt like she was getting the short end of the stick, so to speak.

 The wife asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"

 The Jamaican replied, "Tell him to just try dem on, Lady." So the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on.

 As soon as the husband slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes. There was a level of excitement his wife hadn't seen in many years! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.

 The Jamaican began screaming, "You got dem on the wrong feet! You got dem on the wrong feet!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: BowHunterDan on Jun 03, 14, 10:02:08 AM
Yeah mon! ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 04, 14, 08:43:28 AM

A man doing market research knocked on a door. He was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.

 He says, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"

 She says, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."

 "And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?"

 "We use it for sex."

 The researcher was a little taken back. He replied with candor, "Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?"

 The woman says, "I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the door knob to keep the kids out."

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 04, 14, 07:17:46 PM
good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 05, 14, 05:15:04 AM

OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just do it until it Hz


OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just lose contact


OLD ENERGIZER BUNNIES never die, they go on, and on, and on...


OLD ENGINEERS never die, they just lose their bearings


OLD ENGLISH MAJORS do it with Strunk and White


OLD ENVIRONMENTALISTS never die, they are just recycled


OLD ESKIMOES never die, they just get cold feet


OLD ESKIMOES never die, they just go cold


OLD EXORCISTS never die, they just give up the ghost


OLD FARMERS never die, they just go to seed


OLD FARMERS never die, they just spade away


OLD FATHERS never die, they just become grandfathers


OLD FISHERMEN never die, their rods just go limp


OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just get reel tired


OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just smell that way

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: BowHunterDan on Jun 05, 14, 09:37:53 AM
 ;D Good one!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jun 05, 14, 11:08:23 AM
(https://scontent-1.2914.fna.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/t1.0-9/10014701_10153898510825394_1086018629_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 06, 14, 06:25:17 AM

A married Cajun went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almos' had de affair wid annuder woman."

 The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"

 The Cajun said, "Well, we get undress' and rub together, but den I stop."

 The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

 The Cajun left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

 The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"

 The Cajun replied, "Yeah fadder, but me..I rub de $50 on de box, and 'cordin' to you, that be de same as puttin' it in."

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 06, 14, 08:00:09 AM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 06, 14, 02:00:30 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 07, 14, 09:03:14 AM

A government social worker was visiting the Indian reservation for the first time.

 Over by the store, a woman was yelling up a blue streak at an old Indian man. The man looked like he could use some help. The social worker walked over and broke up the disturbance by pulling the man aside.

 "Hey, that lady sure has your number."

 "She no lady. She my wife."

 "You don't say. What's her name?"

 "Wife name 'Three Horse'."

 The social worker smiled. "Now that's a strange name. Three Horse. Yep, that sure is a strange name. How did she get a name like that?"

 "Nag nag nag."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 07, 14, 07:14:49 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 08, 14, 05:53:01 AM

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around at Home Depot when they collide.  The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

 The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little worried."

 The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?

 The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts.  What does your wife look like?"

 The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours.

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 08, 14, 05:58:39 AM
nice   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 09, 14, 05:18:38 AM

Ethel and Mabel, two elderly widows, were watching the folks go by from their park bench.

 Ethel said, "You know, Mabel,I've been reading this 'Sex and Marriage' book and all they talk about is 'mutual orgasm'. Mutual orgasm here and mutual orgasm there. That's all they talk about. Tell me, Mabel, when your husband was alive, did you two ever have mutual orgasm?"

 Mabel thought for a long while. Finally, she shook her head and said, "No, I think we had State Farm."


Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 10, 14, 04:59:47 AM
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

 "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

 Michael said,"Just a minute I have to go pee."

 The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite."

 "What about you Sherman, how would you say it."

 Sherman said, "I am sorry, but i really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

 "Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table."

 "And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

 Johnny said, " I would say: Darling, may i be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 10, 14, 06:23:53 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 11, 14, 05:08:46 AM

A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter. "This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"

 The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 11, 14, 04:26:10 PM
 :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 11, 14, 05:40:55 PM

An Arizona couple, both well into their 60's, goes to a Sex Therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.'
He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.
The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again.
The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks in a row.  The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'
The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.  She's married; so we can't go to her house.  I'm married; so we can't go to my house.  The Holiday Inn charges $98.  The Hilton charges $139.  We do it here for $50, and best of all.... Obamacare pays $43 of it, so our co-pay is only $7.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 12, 14, 03:53:19 AM
nice   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 17, 14, 04:47:15 AM
A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on
the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa,
what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he
asked again.

The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here
with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 17, 14, 05:13:42 AM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jun 17, 14, 03:33:12 PM
(https://scontent-1.2914.fna.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/t1.0-9/10376161_10154216522945058_9060614507928602029_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jun 17, 14, 03:35:12 PM
(https://scontent-1.2914.fna.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/t1.0-9/10419476_10154208333330058_9050790825226791969_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hickgtx600f4 on Jun 17, 14, 08:00:49 PM
nice ones 8)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 18, 14, 03:49:42 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 18, 14, 05:04:54 AM



A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his
 

razor-sharp legal mind.

 Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything

about this subject?"

 Professor: "Actually, I think I probably do.

Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, would I?"

 Student: "Okay. So I'd like to ask you a question. If you can give

me the correct answer, I will accept the marks you've given me.

However, you'll have to agree that if you can't give me the

correct answer you'll change my grade to an "A".

 Professor: "Hmmmm, all right. So what's the question?"

 Student: "What is legal but not logical,

logical but not legal,

and neither logical nor legal?"

 The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can't crack

the answer. Finally he gives up and changes the student's

failing mark into an "A" as agreed, and the student goes

away, very pleased.

 All afternoon the professor continues to wrack his brain over

the question but still can't get the answer. So finally he calls in

a group of his brightest students and tells them he has a

really, really tough question to answer:


"What is legal but not logical,

logical but not legal,

and neither logical nor legal?"

 To the professor's surprise (and embarrassment), all

the students immediately raise their hands.
 The professor asks his favourite student to answer.

 "Well, it's quite easy, sir," says the student.

 

"You see, you are 75-years-old and married to a

30-year-old woman, which is legal, but not logical.

 Your wife has a 22-year-old lover,

which is logical, but not legal.

 

And your wife's lover failed his exam, but you've just

given him an "A", which is neither legal nor logical."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 18, 14, 07:28:46 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 19, 14, 04:47:55 AM

In the early 1930's, a farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.

 "$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That's too much," said the farmer.

 The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10."

 The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."

 "Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."


Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 19, 14, 05:33:00 AM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Jun 19, 14, 01:36:55 PM
Haha
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 19, 14, 05:41:21 PM

A small zoo in North Carolina obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a
few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon
examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat.
To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their
problem, the zoo keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker
responsible for cleaning the animal cages.
 
 
 
Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to
satisfy a female of any species.
The zoo keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with
a proposition: would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
 
Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to
think the matter over carefully. The next day,he announced he would
 accept their
offer, but only under
 five conditions:
 
"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The keeper
quickly agreed to this condition.
 
"Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' t-shirt." The
keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
 
"Third", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this."
The keeper again readily agreed
 to this condition.
 
"Fourth," Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once
again it was agreed.
 
And last, Bobby Lee said, "I'm gonna need another week to come up with the
 
$500.00."
 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 19, 14, 06:51:49 PM
 :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 19, 14, 07:19:18 PM
I like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Jun 20, 14, 07:45:41 AM
 ;D  LMFAO!!  I started laughing at the words "Bobby Lee Walton"!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 20, 14, 08:36:16 AM

Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.

First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows."

Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows."

Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows."

Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp.

First Bull: "I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend."

Second Bull: "I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I'm certainly not looking for an argument."

They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting.

First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish -- let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."

Third Bull: "Hell, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 20, 14, 11:47:27 AM
good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 20, 14, 05:55:34 PM
nice  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 21, 14, 05:44:43 AM


Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?

A: Because they have big fingers.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 21, 14, 03:58:20 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 22, 14, 06:03:57 AM
 
                               News Paper clippings


Washer. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed -- $100.

Snow blower for sale. Only used on snowy days.

Free puppies. Part German Shepherd, part dog.

Cows, calves never bred. Also, one gay bull for sale.

Free puppies: part Cocker Spaniel, part sneaky neighbor's dog

Full-sized mattress. 20-year warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell.

Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat. Been out for a while. Better be reward.

Nice parachute. Never opened. Used once. Slightly stained.

Free Yorkshire Terrier. Eight years old. Unpleasant little dog.

Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 22, 14, 05:00:13 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 23, 14, 04:26:22 AM

 I have a bunch of these about a few states, I'll post one at a time.

                                      SOUTHERN HUMOR

Florida
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.

 
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

 
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

 
The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought maybe you were bringing her back.

 
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 23, 14, 08:09:36 AM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: whistleoink on Jun 23, 14, 03:25:37 PM
x-2
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 23, 14, 05:12:49 PM
X-3
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Jun 23, 14, 08:11:58 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: stka on Jun 23, 14, 09:28:14 PM
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/23/us-student-rescued-giant-vagina-sculpture-germany (http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/23/us-student-rescued-giant-vagina-sculpture-germany)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 24, 14, 03:58:45 AM
Hahahaha   What a goof ball  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 24, 14, 04:53:37 AM




  Georgia

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 24, 14, 06:38:20 AM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 24, 14, 06:00:17 PM
X-2
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 25, 14, 03:19:18 AM



Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ..."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 25, 14, 03:59:40 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Jun 25, 14, 04:46:05 AM
 :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 26, 14, 04:14:16 AM



Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 26, 14, 05:29:06 AM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 26, 14, 05:05:31 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 27, 14, 01:32:39 AM



North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 27, 14, 03:54:20 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 28, 14, 07:07:46 AM


Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 28, 14, 07:54:21 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 28, 14, 02:45:10 PM

Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 28, 14, 03:10:28 PM
hehehe   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 29, 14, 06:24:52 AM

South Carolina
Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South,
but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 30, 14, 04:13:17 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jun 30, 14, 06:05:52 AM

A SHORT... BUT BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY

 A man and a woman who had never met before,
 but who were both married to other people,
 found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.


 Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were
 both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she
 in the lower.

 At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, Ma'am,
 I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the
 closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'

 'I have a better idea,' she replied, 'Just for tonight, let's pretend
 that we're married'

 'Wow! That's a great idea!' he exclaimed.

 'Good,' she replied, 'Get your own damned blanket.'

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Jun 30, 14, 07:08:17 AM
 :o  ::)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jun 30, 14, 07:19:06 AM
nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jun 30, 14, 06:20:10 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 02, 14, 06:35:57 AM
Painting  the Church
       
There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very

interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down

his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually

the local church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside

of one of their biggest buildings.

Smokey put in a bid and, because his price was so low, he got the job. 

So he set about erecting the scaffolding and  setting up the planks,

and buying the paint and yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with

turpentine......... 

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly

completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder,

the sky opened and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint

from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to

land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles

of the thinned and useless paint

Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty,

so he got down on his knees and cried:
"Oh God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?" 

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke.

(you're going to love this)

"Repaint! Repaint!  And thin no more!" 

                 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 02, 14, 05:06:23 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 03, 14, 02:55:49 AM
Tractor Salesman
A farmer walked into a bar and saw the local tractor salesman sitting there, head hung low, obviously upset, drowning his sorrows in his beer.

"What's up, John?" asked the farmer.

"Gosh Bob, I'll tell you what ... if I don't sell a tractor soon, I'm gonna have to close my shop."

"Now John, things could be worse," said Bob.

"How do you figure?" asked John.

"Well, John - you know my ornery cow, Bessie? I went to milk her this morning and she just kept flicking her tail in my face. So I grabbed a piece of rope and tied it up to the rafter. Then, the nasty thing went and kicked the bucket away! So I tied her leg to the wall. Then she kicked my stool right out from underneath me! But I was out of rope. So I took my belt off and used it to tie her other leg to the other side of the stall. Well wouldn't you just know it...my damn pants fell down.
 And John, if you can convince my wife that I was in there to MILK that cow, I'll buy a tractor from you TODAY!"


Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 03, 14, 04:13:57 AM
 :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 03, 14, 07:03:58 AM
nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 04, 14, 04:41:33 AM

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
 The Americans licked the British!
 Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
 Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
 Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
 To get to the other tide!
 What do you call a parade of German mercenaries?
 A Hessian procession!
 What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
 Yankee Poodle!
 Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
 Yeah, it cracked me up!
 What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
 The Fodder of Our Country!
 What's red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?
 A revolutionary warthog!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 04, 14, 06:13:37 AM
 :D :D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 05, 14, 05:45:10 AM


Three women were sitting in a bar, (brunette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant.

 The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a baby boy".

 The red head said, "If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived.

 The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 05, 14, 07:01:34 AM
 ;D ;D  hehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 06, 14, 05:44:43 AM

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked.

 "Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied.

 So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.

 "Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"

 "Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 06, 14, 07:07:25 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Jul 06, 14, 07:51:16 AM
 ;D  ;D  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 07, 14, 05:14:57 AM

One day God came to Adam for a brief discussion. "I've got some good news and some bad news." God said.

 Adam looked thoughtfully at his maker and replied, "Please give me the good news first."

 Smiling, God explained, "I've created two new organs for you. One is called a brain. This organ will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and carry on productive conversations with Eve. The other organ is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your intelligent life form and begin populating the planet. Eve will be very pleased that you are now equipped with this organ as she will be able to conceive children."

 Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great and wonderful gifts you have given me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"

 God then looked upon Adam, and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 07, 14, 07:44:26 AM


A man walked into the ladies department
and shyly walked up to
the woman behind the counter and said,
'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.. '
'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'
' Look around,' said the saleslady,
as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material imaginable.
'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from .'
Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The saleslady replied:
'There are the Catholic,
Salvation Army, Presbyterian,
and the Baptist types.
Which one would you prefer?'

Now totally befuddled,
the man asked about
the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded,
'It is all really quite simple.'

The Catholic type supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;
The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills....ave you ever wondered why A, B,C, D, DD, E , F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?





If you have wondered why,
but couldn't figure out
what the letters stood for,
it is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost Boobs.
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain.
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen
and I can't get up!

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Jul 07, 14, 08:42:48 PM
hahaha mine are silly........get it?
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 08, 14, 04:09:53 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 08, 14, 04:48:47 AM

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises.

 "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers.

 "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.

 "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?"

 "No sir, our mother."

 "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!"

 "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 08, 14, 05:47:03 AM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 08, 14, 06:05:23 PM


             Nice Nice  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 09, 14, 04:44:15 AM

Observing The Baby One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, scepticism.

 Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she said.

 "It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $67.50."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 09, 14, 06:22:17 AM
like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 09, 14, 06:53:46 PM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 10, 14, 04:11:53 AM

Glenn and his wife were working in their garden one day when Glenn looks over at his wife and says,
 "Your butt is getting really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."

 With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.
 "Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!"
 The wife chose to ignore the husband.

 Later that night in bed Glenn was feeling a little frisky.
 He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.
 "What's wrong?" he asks.
 She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 10, 14, 07:27:16 AM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 10, 14, 05:46:21 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 11, 14, 04:57:21 AM

A blind man applies for a job at the wood factory, but the manager refuses as he says what can you do, you're blind.
 The blind man says I can sniff any piece of wood and tell you what type it is.
 The manager says that's useless for my business but just out of curiosity I'd like to see you do it.
 The blind man says ok, so the manager gathers all his staff to watch.
 He places a piece of wood on a table and says to the blind man, what's this wood?
 The blind man replies Pine wood and the manager says great, you got it right.
 The manager then places another piece of wood on the table and asks the blind man to sniff it and the blind man says this is Red gum.
 The manager says you're right again, that's amazing.
 Not to be outdone the manager calls his secretary out of the office and asks her to take all her clothes of and to lay on the table.
 She lays on her stomach and the manager says to the blind man, ok what/s this one.
 The blind man sniffs along the woman's naked body and says, "bit tricky this one can you turn it over.
 So the manager gets the secretary to lay on her back and the blind man sniffs up and down the woman's naked body and says, ahh you can't fool me, that's the ****house door off a tuna boat.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 11, 14, 04:11:35 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 12, 14, 04:40:51 AM

This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside on a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off, "A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 57 times last year."

 The wife nudges her husband in the ribs and comments, "See! That was more than once a week!"

 The second bull is to be sold, "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."

 Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's more than twice a week. What do you say to that?" Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.

 The third bull is up for sale, "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365 times last year!"

 The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, "That's once a day, every day of the year! How about you?"

 The husband was pretty irritated by now and yells back, "Sure, once a day! Great! But, you ask the auctioneer if they were all with the same cow!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 12, 14, 05:29:03 AM
good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 12, 14, 05:49:41 AM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 13, 14, 05:26:30 AM

The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 13, 14, 05:32:07 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 14, 14, 05:31:41 AM

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"

 Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wet-dreams...and he thinks, what the hell, and goes on to tell her the works.

 He covers a wide and varied assortment of sub topics and by the time he's finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge. Her father finally asks: "So what did you want to know about sex for?"

 "Oh, mommy said to tell you lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 14, 14, 05:52:19 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 15, 14, 04:27:17 AM

Patient to Dentist: "How much to get my teeth straightened?"

 "Twenty thousand bucks" Patient heads for the door.

 Dentist to patient: "Where are you going?"

 "To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 15, 14, 04:09:25 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 16, 14, 04:50:16 AM
A woman in her 90’s is distraught after the death of her warm, caring, faithful husband of seventy years. She can’t live without him and decides that the best way to do herself in is to stab herself in her pitifully broken heart. Still, she doesn’t want to linger so she calls a doctor to find out exactly where the heart is.

 He tells her to put her first two fingers together, hold them horizontally and place the tip of the first finger just below her left nipple. The heart, he says, is immediately below the first knuckle on her second finger.

 Later that day, the doctor is called to the emergency room to put fourteen stitches in the elderly woman’s left thigh.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 16, 14, 07:31:17 AM
like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hesseltine32 on Jul 16, 14, 02:18:48 PM
That's a good one !   ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 16, 14, 05:00:34 PM
Nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 17, 14, 04:14:35 AM

One day a man takes his frail, elderly mother into hospital.
 "I hope the nurses treat you well, mum." he said.
 After a while, the old lady slowly tilts to one side, so 2 nurses put her back up.
 In half an hour, the old lady tilts to the other side, so the same nurses pick her back up again. When the woman's son comes to see how she\'s doing, he says, \"Have the nurses been treating you well?\"
 "Yes," replied his mum. "But they won't let me fart!
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: fishnmachine on Jul 17, 14, 08:37:00 AM
HA!!!  :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 18, 14, 05:37:06 AM






 

"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife anymore.
 "Mr. Garrett, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."

 The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Garrett," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on."

 The doctor took the husband aside. "You’re in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn’t give me an erection either
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 18, 14, 07:36:31 AM
good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 18, 14, 06:46:33 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 19, 14, 07:22:48 AM

A man is talking to the family doctor. "Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf."

 The doctor answers, "Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you’ll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."

 The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, "Honey, what’s for dinner?" He doesn’t hear an answer, so he moves closer to her. "Honey, what’s for dinner?" Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he’s standing just a few feet away from her.

 Finally, she answers, "For the eleventh time, I said we’re having MEATLOAF!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 19, 14, 02:39:11 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 20, 14, 06:10:45 AM
A physician passed away and was being screened for the destination of his soul’s eternal afterlife.
 Unfortunately, he’d been a bit of a lout, a quack, and greedy to boot, so he wasn’t quite certain what to expect.
 Upon arriving at the Pearly Gates, St Peter greeted him, and informed the Doctor that he would be allowed to choose from one of the doors before him, but that because of his greed and misdeeds he may find the choices rather hellish.
 Upon opening door #1, he witnessed fire and brimstone of truly Biblical proportions, a horrifying sight, and quickly closed it.
 Upon viewing the spectacle behind door #2, he was even more horrified to observe various tortured souls ravaged by plague, disease and other maladies to terrible to mention, while an evil guard stood watch.
 With trepidation he opened Door #3 to discover therein groups of white-coated male physicians, being waited on hand and foot by beautiful young women dressed in little more than nursing caps! He rushed excitedly back to saint Peter and proclaimed, "I’ll take door #3!" "Oh, no, I’m afraid that’s not possible," exclaimed Saint Peter. "That’s NURSES’ Hell!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 20, 14, 04:04:52 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 21, 14, 06:06:59 AM

A doctor was caring for a woman in the hospital from Kentucky and asked, "So how’s your breakfast this morning?" "It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. The doctor asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labelled "KY Jelly
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 21, 14, 07:27:33 AM
Nancy Pelosi called Harry Reid into her office one day and said, "Harry, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2014!"
"Great Nancy , but how?" asked Harry.
"We'll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we'll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there."
 So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman , Montana . With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.
 The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?"
 "Yes we are!" said Nancy , "And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Harry suggested we stop and take in some local color."
 They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
 A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador , lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar.
 For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and left shaking their heads.
 Finally, Nancy asked, "Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of custom?"
 "Lord no," said the bartender. "Someone's out there running around town, claiming there's a Labrador Retriever in here with two a...holes!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 21, 14, 04:36:33 PM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 21, 14, 04:41:38 PM


  That a good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jul 21, 14, 08:25:44 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t1.0-9/10527902_811160865584094_6267511387436414327_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: hickgtx600f4 on Jul 21, 14, 08:49:57 PM
 :o :o :o
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 22, 14, 04:09:26 AM

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I would like to live a long life. What should I do?"

 "I think that is a wise decision," the doctor replies. "Let’s see, do you smoke?"

 "Oh.. Half a pack a day."

 "Starting NOW, no more smoking." The man agrees.

 The doctor then asks, "Do you drink?"

 "Oh, well Doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my meals, and a beer or two every once in a while."

 "Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions."

 The man is a bit upset, but also agrees.

 The doctor asks, "How do you eat?"

 "Oh, well, you know, Doc, normal stuff."

 "Starting now you are going on a very strict diet. You are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese."

 The man is now really worried. "Doc, is all this really necessary?"

 "Do you want to live long?"

 "Yes."

 "Well then, it’s absolutely necessary. And don’t even think of breaking the diet." The man is quite restless, but the doctor continues, "Do you have sex?"

 "Yeah, once a week or so..., only with my wife!" he adds hurriedly.

 "As soon as you get out of here you are going to buy twin beds. No more sex for you. None."

 The man is appalled. "Doc... Are you sure I’m going to live longer this way?"

 "I have no idea, but however long you live, I assure you is going to seem like an eternity!"

 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 22, 14, 04:10:19 AM
 :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 23, 14, 05:44:51 AM


                             
A lady goes to her priest one day and
tells him, ‘Father, I have a problem.

I have two female parrots,
                             
But they only know to say one thing.'
                             

'What do they say?' the priest asked.
                             

They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'

'That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,

Then he thought for a moment.....
                             

'You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem.  I have
two male talking parrots, which I have taught to
pray ...

Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in
the cage with Francis and Peter.

My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship,
And your parrots are sure to stop saying…




That phrase…  In no time.'

‘Thank you,’ the woman responded 'this may very well be the solution.'

The next day,
She brought her female parrots to the priest's house....

As he ushered her in,
                             
She saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary
beads and praying...

Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them…

After a few minutes, her female parrots cried out in unison:

Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to  have some fun?'

There was stunned silence...
                             

Shocked, One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says,


'Put the beads away, Frank,
Our prayers have been answered!
                 
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 23, 14, 07:31:26 AM
good one.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 23, 14, 04:14:47 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 24, 14, 04:55:46 AM

A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient’s dressing, which said "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 24, 14, 07:46:47 AM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 24, 14, 04:28:58 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Jul 24, 14, 09:46:18 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/v/t1.0-9/16103_10151111924421371_475835148_n.jpg?oh=85b55991f7a4b2826c21216e046fb27a&oe=5452E9F9&__gda__=1413433263_00768d3d21381ce6e5860d92ec38a4cf)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 25, 14, 02:26:06 AM

An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. An newly annointed angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, "Ah, you're an engineer; you're in the wrong place."

 So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.

 One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

 Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

 God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake; he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

 Satan shook his head, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

 God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or I'll sue."

 Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 25, 14, 03:29:49 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 26, 14, 07:35:23 AM

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He descends to a lower height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

 The man below says, "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees North latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West longitude."

 "You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.

 "I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

 "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

 The man below says, "You must be a manager."

 "I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

 "Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 26, 14, 02:53:22 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 27, 14, 06:42:03 AM

Three freshman engineering students were sitting together at lunch time, when one brought up the question of who designed the human body.

 One of the students insisted that the human body must have been designed by an electrical engineer because of the perfection of the nerves and synapses.

 Another disagreed, and proclaimed that it had to have been a mechanical engineer who designed the human body. The system of levers and pullies is ingenious.

 "No," the third student said "your both wrong. The human body was designed by an architect. Who else but an architect would have put a toxic waste line through a recreation area?"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 27, 14, 09:37:49 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 28, 14, 04:30:19 PM

The newly-weds are in their honeymoon suite and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage. He proceeds to take off his pants and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."

 The bride replies, "I can't wear your pants."

 "And don't forget that" he replies, "I will always wear the pants in this family!"

 The bride takes off her panties and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"

 He replies, "I can't get into your panties!"

 "And you never will if you don't change your attitude."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 28, 14, 04:46:02 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 29, 14, 07:39:20 AM





 

A fire chief had just gotten married and on his honeymoon he informed his new wife that their house was going to be run like a firehouse... he said that they would have sex on the bell system.
 He went on to say that one bell meant take your clothes off... two bells meant get into bed... and three bells meant start fooling around.

 The fire chief came home from work one day and decided to try out his system.... he hollered "One Bell" and she took off her clothes.

 He hollered "Two Bells" and she got into bed.

 He hollered "Three Bells" and they started fooling around like crazy.

 A few minutes later, SHE yells "Four Bells."

 "Four Bells?" the fire chief asks, "What is four bells?"

 "Let out more hose!" she yelled. "You're nowhere near the fire
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 29, 14, 12:06:04 PM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 30, 14, 05:48:24 AM
The firefighter climbs the ladder to the bedroom of a burning house, and there he finds a curvaceous brunette,

 "Ah", he says, "you are the third pregnant girl I've rescued this month".

 "But, I'm not pregnant!"

 "You're not rescued yet!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 30, 14, 06:22:06 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Jul 31, 14, 08:12:56 AM

A solider and a cop and a firefighter die and go to heaven. Upon their arrivial, Saint Peter greets them at the Pearly Gates. He announces to the three of them that if they can count to 10 he will let them enter heaven.

 The solider goes up and starts to march Hut 1 2 3 4 Saint Peter says to him sorry son.

 The cop goes next and pulls out his service revolver and starts to load it with bullets 1 2 3 4 5 6 sorry son Saint Peter says.

 The firefighter is next and says 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 well done Saint Peter says and asks him if he can count higher, "for sure" the firefighter says and says JACK QUEEN KING ACE.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Jul 31, 14, 08:24:45 AM
nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Jul 31, 14, 06:08:44 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 01, 14, 06:45:59 AM

Sixteen years ago, a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his bakery and confronted the baker with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it?

 Finally he offered to provide her with free baked goods (bread) until the boy was 16. She agreed.

 He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the bread each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."

 "I know," said the baker with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this loaf of bread home, that it is the last loaf of bread she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."

 When the boy arrived home he told his mother.

 The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the baker and tell him I have also had free meat, free milk, and free health care for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 01, 14, 07:20:55 AM
good one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 01, 14, 03:31:27 PM
nice one
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 04, 14, 07:00:47 AM

One night a couple was lying in bed. The husband was feeling frisky so he rolled over and tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, but I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

 Rejected, the husband turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later he rolls over and whispers in her ear "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 04, 14, 07:22:30 AM
good one. I like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 04, 14, 06:24:05 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 05, 14, 05:15:03 AM

It was the 60's and this father was very anxious to marry off his daughter to a good man, so he wanted to impress her first date.

 "Do you like to screw?" he asks.

 "Huh?!" replied the surprised young man.

 "My daughter, she loves to screw and she's very good at it. You and she should go screw." carefully explained the father.

 Now very interested, the boy replied, "Yes, sir!" Minutes later the girl came down the stairs, kissed her father goodbye and the couple left.

 After only a few minutes she reappeared, furious, dress torn, hair a mess and screamed, "Dammit, Daddy, get it right, it's the TWIST!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 05, 14, 06:50:07 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 06, 14, 05:21:08 AM

 I think this one has been told before but it always leaves me with a smile.

A couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up really early that morning and took a nap. While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out.

 She was not familiar with the lake, so she rowed out and anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside the woman's boat and asks her what she's doing?

 She says, "Reading my book." The Game Warden tells her she is in a restricted fishing area and she explains that she's not fishing.

 To which he replied, "But you have all this equipment. I will have to take you in and write you up!"

 Angry that the warden was being so unreasonable, the lady told the warden, "If you do that, I will charge you with rape."
 The warden, shocked by her statement, replied, "But I didn't even touch you."

 To which the lady replied, "Yeah, but you have all the equipment!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 06, 14, 05:48:13 AM
       
                           
                              
     (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOgd9hitEAE)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: loonyone on Aug 06, 14, 09:09:15 AM
hehehehehehehe
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 06, 14, 04:39:34 PM
hahahahaha
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 07, 14, 06:49:27 AM

After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the obstetrician. "Doctor," he said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine."

 "Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."

 "It isn't possible," the man insisted. "We're pure Asian."

 "Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"

 The man seemed ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice a month."

 "There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It's just rust."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 12, 14, 07:00:42 AM

A young couple got married. On their honeymoon, they were very anxious about having sex because they were both virgins. Because of their sexual inexperience, they were a bit uncomfortable discussing the subject so they came up with the term "doing the laundry" to use in place of "having sex."

 This made them both more comfortable with the whole concept. Well, the first night of their honeymoon was wonderful. They "did the laundry" 5 times that first night. In the middle of the night the new husband woke up, and he was ready to do the laundry again. He gently shook his new wife and asked her, "Can we do the laundry again?" but she was very tired.

 She told him that she just couldn't do it again just yet. Maybe in the morning. A few hours later the new wife awoke feeling very guilty. What he had asked for wasn't unreasonable, and she decided she should go ahead and "do the laundry" with him again.

 She gently shook him and said, "Honey, I'm sorry I denied you... We can do the laundry again if you want,"

 He replied, "That's ok... It was a small load... I did it by hand."
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 12, 14, 07:29:17 AM
like it
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 12, 14, 06:15:57 PM
 :) :)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: CAPTJJ on Aug 13, 14, 06:26:21 AM
 ;D

(https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/t1.0-9/10371705_10152486231137783_1255307232379189207_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 13, 14, 06:44:53 AM




 

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.

 The first dwarf, however, is unable to get a stiffy. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of, "ONE, TWO, THREE...UUUUH!" all night long.

 In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"

 The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I just couldn't get a hard on."

 The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?" he asked. "I couldn't even get on the bed!!!"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 13, 14, 09:01:42 AM
nice
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Green Mountian Hunter on Aug 13, 14, 05:07:55 PM
;D

(https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/t1.0-9/10371705_10152486231137783_1255307232379189207_n.jpg)
Nice  ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: joe snag on Aug 13, 14, 07:41:20 PM
good---------- ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: Raquettedacker on Aug 14, 14, 05:46:10 AM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 14, 14, 06:40:18 AM

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.

 "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.

 "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."

 "Why?" asked the pilot.

 "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation.

 After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: chuckrudy on Aug 14, 14, 07:16:08 AM
I like it.
Title: Re: Comic Relief!!
Post by: 30-30 on Aug 15, 14, 05:42:49 AM