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Topic: Comic Relief!! (Read 981574 times)
Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,265
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2040 on:
Jan 13, 2015, 03:20:33 AM »
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,914
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2041 on:
Jan 14, 2015, 04:27:37 AM »
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to
preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my
sermon, I want you all to read Mark Chapter 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his
sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He
wanted to know how many had read Mark 17.
Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark
has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my
sermon on the sin of lying."
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,265
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2042 on:
Jan 14, 2015, 05:14:35 PM »
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,914
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2043 on:
Jan 15, 2015, 03:58:54 AM »
Wisdom
Whether a man winds up with the nest egg or a goose egg depends a
lot on the kind of chick he marries.
Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his
salt that he forgets his sugar.
Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.
When a man marries a woman, they become one, but the trouble starts
when they try to decide which one.
If a man has enough "horse sense" to treat his wife like a
thoroughbred, she will never be an old nag.
Judgin' from the specimens they pick for husbands, it's no wonder
that brides often blush.
On anniversaries the wise husband always forgets the past...but
never the present.
A foolish husband remarks to his wife "Honey, you stick to the
washin', ironin', cookin', and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work."
The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest
is kept up.
Many girls like to marry a military man--he can cook, sew, make a
bed, and is in good health...and he's already used to taking orders.
Grandpappy and his wife were discussin' their 50th wedding
anniversary when she said, "Shall I kill a chicken tonight?" "Naw,
said Grandpappy, "Why blame a bird for something' that happened
50 years ago."
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,265
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2044 on:
Jan 15, 2015, 05:04:54 PM »
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,914
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2045 on:
Jan 16, 2015, 04:36:21 AM »
It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco.
The pastor of the church was looking over the naivety when
he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures.
Immediately he turned and went outside where he saw a little
boy with a red wagon and in the wagon was the figure of the infant
of Jesus.
So he walked up the little boy and said, "Well, where'd you get Him,
my fine friend?
The little boy replied , "I got him from the church."
"And why did you take him?"
The little boy replied, "Well about a week before Christmas I
prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would bring
me a red wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around.
the block in it."
Logged
chuckrudy
10 Pointer
Posts: 1,259
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2046 on:
Jan 16, 2015, 08:09:57 AM »
nice
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no information
30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,914
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2047 on:
Jan 17, 2015, 04:53:25 AM »
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total
mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still
in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes
and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his
wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A
lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded
against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring
a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys
and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the
sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was
spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a
small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more
piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may
be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her
lounging in the bedroom, still curled in the bed in her pajamas
reading a novel.
She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and said "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come
home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,265
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2048 on:
Jan 17, 2015, 07:22:18 AM »
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,914
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2049 on:
Jan 18, 2015, 07:22:26 AM »
Welcome To Inspirations!
Some people are kind, polite and sweet-spirited, until
you try to get into their church pew.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose,
but the fly comes close.
Many spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats,
and then go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
If a church wants a better pastor, it can get one by praying
for the one it has.
A lot of church members who are singing "Standing On The
Promises" are just sitting on the premises.
We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers.
Every evening I turn my troubles over to God. He's going to
be up all night anyway.
I don't know why some people change churches - what
difference does it make which one you stay home from?
Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early
age I discovered I was not God.
To err is human; to blame it on somebody else is even
more human.
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and
permanently set.
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,265
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2050 on:
Jan 18, 2015, 12:04:17 PM »
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,914
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2051 on:
Jan 19, 2015, 04:09:30 AM »
An Alexander County Deputy pulled a car over on I-57 about
2 miles north of the Missouri state line. When the Deputy asked
the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was
a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Branson to do
a show that night and didn't want to be late.
The deputy told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and
if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give
him a ticket.
The driver told the deputy that he had sent all of his equipment
on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The deputy told him
that he had some flares in the trunk of his squad car and asked
if he could juggle them. The juggler stated that he could, so the
deputy got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.
While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind
the squad car, a drunk got out and watched the performance briefly,
he then went over to the squad car, opened the rear door and got in.
The deputy observed him doing this and went over to his squad car,
opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, "Might as well take myself to jail, there's no way
I can pass that test."
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chuckrudy
10 Pointer
Posts: 1,259
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2052 on:
Jan 19, 2015, 06:51:40 AM »
good one.
Logged
no information
CAPTJJ
Non-typical 13 Pointer
Posts: 3,970
Bowhunter
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2053 on:
Jan 19, 2015, 12:55:16 PM »
Logged
Its always archery season. >>>---------->
Hybrid longbow in hand.
Raquettedacker
Cactus Buck
Posts: 13,750
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #2054 on:
Jan 19, 2015, 02:12:11 PM »
I didn't do it...
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"Dying is the easy part. Learning how to live is the hard part..."
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