Author Topic: Comic Relief!!  (Read 467589 times)

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5070 on: Jun 11, 2019, 05:16:07 AM »


Ben went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law.One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone.Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
Ben picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said Ben, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5071 on: Jun 12, 2019, 03:57:11 AM »


One night a lady with a black eye stumbled into a police station. She told the desk sergeant that she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the face and knocked out cold.
An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned a few minutes later, also with a black eye.
"Did you get hit by the same attacker?" his captain asked.
"No, sir," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake."

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5072 on: Jun 14, 2019, 03:00:17 AM »


So I walked into a this bar and heard two girls speaking in what sounded like a lovely Scottish accent. I said: So, are you two girls from Scotland?
One of them said: "Wales Idiot!"
So I said: "Oh, I am terribly sorry about that. So, are you two Whales from Scotland?"
That's the last thing I remember.


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5073 on: Jun 16, 2019, 03:05:29 AM »


The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.

Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"

The dying man said nothing.

The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.

The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to piss anyone off."


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5074 on: Jun 16, 2019, 07:15:33 AM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5075 on: Jun 17, 2019, 04:12:18 AM »


A repeat offender was brought before the judge, who said, "Haven't I seen you in here several times before? And didn't I tell you I never wanted to see you in here again?"
The offender replied, "Yes, Your Honor, that's exactly what I told the officer, but he insisted I come anyway!"

 


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