Author Topic: Comic Relief!!  (Read 474221 times)

Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 5,640
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4995 on: Apr 07, 2019, 05:25:56 AM »
  This is pretty offensive ...   I grew up Italian and no one of my of my family ever talked like this...........
               Dom, I didn't mean to be offensive. I've posted blonde jokes and I'm blonde or was. If we can't laugh at ourselves who can we laugh at!

Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 5,640
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4996 on: Apr 07, 2019, 05:26:33 AM »


A man is walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.
"Twenty bucks," she says. he'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell it's only twenty bucks.

They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them it's a police officer.

"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.

"I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."

"Well," said the man, "neither did I until you shined that light in her face."


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 8,442
  • FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4997 on: Apr 07, 2019, 06:58:15 AM »
 ;D


Offline Raquettedacker

  • Cactus Buck
  • *********
  • Posts: 12,923
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4998 on: Apr 07, 2019, 03:36:35 PM »
               Dom, I didn't mean to be offensive. I've posted blonde jokes and I'm blonde or was. If we can't laugh at ourselves who can we laugh at!

  Just a joke Jeff.... ;)
"Dying is the easy part. Learning how to live is the hard part..."

Offline Raquettedacker

  • Cactus Buck
  • *********
  • Posts: 12,923
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4999 on: Apr 07, 2019, 04:32:08 PM »
Couple tree blinds get together?? 8) 8)
"Dying is the easy part. Learning how to live is the hard part..."

Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 5,640
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5000 on: Apr 08, 2019, 04:52:51 AM »


It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the hell the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side,he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.
But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea.He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked,
"Is the coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the Meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.
One week later he called the National Weather Service again."Is it going to be a very cold winter?" he asked.
"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied,"it's going to be a very cold winter."
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the man replied. "It looks like it's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy".



Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 5,640
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5001 on: Apr 09, 2019, 04:05:15 AM »
  Just a joke Jeff.... ;)
                  You got me!

Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 5,640
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5002 on: Apr 09, 2019, 04:05:42 AM »


A Doctor while examining an old retired Army vet, "when was the last time you had sex?"
with a long pause the vet replies."1955 i believe"
Doctor: "Whoa! Its been a long while then ?"
Vet: Its only 20:15 right now?

Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 5,640
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5003 on: Apr 10, 2019, 03:47:22 AM »


I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.


Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 5,640
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5004 on: Apr 11, 2019, 04:02:32 AM »


A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship, and ordered a Scotch, with two drops of water. The bartender gave her the drink, and she said,"I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday, and it's today."
The bartender said, "Well, since it's your birthday, this one's on me."
As the lady finished her drink, a woman, to her right, said, "I'd like to buy you a drink, too." The lady said, "Thank you, how sweet of you. OK, then, Bartender, I want another Scotch, with two drops of water."
"Coming up," said the bartender.
As she finished that drink, a man, to her left, said, "I'd like to buy you a drink too." The lady said, "Thank you very much, my dear. Bartender, I'll have another Scotch, with two drops of water."
"Coming right up," the bartender said.
As he gave her the drink, this time, he said, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old woman giggled, and replied, "Sonny, when you're my age,you've learned how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue."

Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 5,640
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5005 on: Apr 12, 2019, 04:03:50 AM »


A Doctor while examining an old retired Army vet, "when was the last time you had sex?"
with a long pause the vet replies."1955 i believe"
Doctor: "Whoa! Its been a long while then ?"
Vet: Its only 20:15 right now?




Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 5,640
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5006 on: Apr 13, 2019, 04:07:39 AM »


Wife: "What is difference between complete and finish?"
Husband: "When you met me, you were complete. When I met you, I was finished."


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 8,442
  • FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5007 on: Apr 13, 2019, 03:22:45 PM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 5,640
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5008 on: Apr 14, 2019, 04:44:45 AM »


Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect lake camping and riding trip.

Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire.

"Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?"

I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, "now, you can do what ever you want."


Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 5,640
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5009 on: Apr 15, 2019, 04:14:02 AM »


Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she's ever had. After dinner, she goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She is met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles." "I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?" Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar." She turns the other brother and says, "Then you must be...?" "Yes, I'm the chip monk."


 


Iceshanty | MyFishFinder | MyHuntingForum
Contact | Disclaimer | Sponsor
2004- © MyHuntingForum.com
All Rights Reserved