Author Topic: Comic Relief!!  (Read 388824 times)

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4560 on: Jun 14, 18, 04:44:23 AM »


A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course.

 Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him.

 He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.

 She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole."

 He thanked her and went back to his golf.

 On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again with the same request.

 She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole."

 Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.

 He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar.

 He asked the bartender if he knew the lady.

 The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

 He approached her and! said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales, also. What do you sell?"

 She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh." "No, I won't."

 "Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."

 With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.

 She said, "See I knew you would laugh."

 "That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied.
 “I am a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you!"


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4561 on: Jun 14, 18, 12:58:00 PM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4562 on: Jun 15, 18, 04:06:31 AM »

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning  The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,  'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'
The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4563 on: Jun 16, 18, 04:36:44 AM »


A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again"

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4564 on: Jun 16, 18, 06:55:37 AM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4565 on: Jun 17, 18, 02:48:03 AM »


Two blondes are walking down the street.  One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says,  'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'
 
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'
So, the first blonde hands her the compact. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4566 on: Jun 17, 18, 06:29:53 AM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4567 on: Jun 18, 18, 04:21:01 AM »


A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of Province capitals.  She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, .. I know 'em all.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Manitoba?'  The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy .. it's M.'
 

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4568 on: Jun 18, 18, 04:27:19 PM »
 ;D


 


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