Author Topic: Comic Relief!!  (Read 528558 times)

Online hunts2long

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5250 on: Feb 19, 2020, 06:01:46 AM »
Welcome back...h2l
Some days are diamonds some days are stone

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5251 on: Feb 20, 2020, 03:41:14 AM »


When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of -first, the truck, the car, playing golf 'Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway. 'The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5252 on: Feb 23, 2020, 05:19:11 AM »


While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. “Just a minute,” I said, thinking of a quick solution. “I'’ll put down newspapers.”“ That’'s all right, lady,” he responded. “I’'m already trained.”


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5253 on: Feb 24, 2020, 03:32:48 AM »


On New Year's Eve, Ann stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death.


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5254 on: Feb 24, 2020, 06:03:57 AM »
 ;D


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5255 on: Feb 24, 2020, 06:15:51 AM »
Haha   ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5256 on: Feb 25, 2020, 04:17:35 AM »


Parents are expected to participate in their children’'s education, and my friends were no exception. They gladly help their fifth-grade son, John, whenever he’'s stumped. One day after school, John ran into the house waving a paper in the air. “Hey, Mom, great news! There were only three mistakes on my math homework,” he announced. “You made one, Dad made one and I made one!”


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5257 on: Feb 25, 2020, 07:13:25 PM »
Hehe nothing wrong with getting one wrong.  ;D


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5258 on: Feb 25, 2020, 07:50:50 PM »
What can strike a blonde with out her even knowing it         

A thought     


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5259 on: Feb 27, 2020, 05:01:23 AM »


The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he didn't want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. Finally when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold. "No," the inmate said, "just get it over with." "Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" said the guard. The inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I would really like, is to sing my favorite song, the whole thing, with no interruptions. "The guard nodded and told him to go ahead. The inmate started, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall..."


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5260 on: Feb 28, 2020, 03:23:44 AM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5261 on: Feb 28, 2020, 04:27:50 AM »


A visitor from Buffalo was strolling along the California surf one morning. During his walk he came upon a fellow, fishing pole clutched in his hands, sound asleep against the side of a huge coastal rock. Just then the pole began to jerk violently. "Hey, there!" cried the visitor as he roused the fisherman. "Look out there! You have a bite." "So I do," yawned the drowsy one glancing out at the water. "If you don't mind, will you pull in the line for me?" The visitor, somewhat surprised, did as he was requested. "Now, mister," continued the fisherman, "put some fresh bait on the hook and cast the line out for me." Again the visitor complied. After doing so he turned to the lazy angler. "You know," he declared, "anyone as lazy as you ought to get married and have a son to do these things for him." "That's a good idea," beamed the fisherman. "Know where I could find a pregnant woman?"

IW

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5262 on: Feb 29, 2020, 01:20:14 AM »
 ;D


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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5263 on: Mar 01, 2020, 05:31:31 AM »


Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.... When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset."You're running around with other women," she told her mate. "Eve, honey, you're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You know you're the only woman on earth. "The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest. It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded. "Counting your ribs," said Eve.


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5264 on: Mar 01, 2020, 07:44:07 PM »
 ;D


 


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