Author Topic: Hunting joke  (Read 16256 times)

Offline NYSporty

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #30 on: Aug 29, 11, 02:10:01 PM »
A bunch of guys go to there hunting camp and play cards and drink late in to the night.
The next morning one of them wont get up he had way too many to drink so the rest of the guys head out and hunt.
Later that day they are all coming back to the cabin and they find the man with his pants down setting against a tree seems he had fallen asleep taking a crap.
Well one of the hunters got a gut pile and put it under the sleeping mans butt laugh and go back to the cabin.
A while later the guy comes busting through the door and said you guys are not going to believe what happened to me.
I went out to take a crap and carped my guts out but with the grace of god and these 3 fingers I got them all back in..... :o :o

Offline drobertsinMaryland

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #31 on: Aug 30, 11, 07:17:41 AM »
 :o ;D ;D
To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.


Offline NYSporty

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #32 on: Oct 04, 11, 10:08:26 AM »
Paul tries to take his friend hunting, but when they get to his favorite hunting spot, they find "No Trespassing" signs everywhere. Paul tells his friend to wait in the car and walks up to the nearby farmhouse. The farmer answers the door, and Paul says, "Sir, I've hunted on this property all my life, but now I notice you have a bunch of signs up. I wanted to see if it was still OK for me to hunt here."

The farmer scratches his chin for a bit and says, "I'll make you a deal. We've got this cow out back that we have to kill for food, but we've grown too attached to it. If you go out back and shoot my cow, I'll let you hunt on my property."

Walking back to the car, Paul decides to play a joke on his friend. "That old bastard won't let us hunt on his property," he tells him. "I'm going to shoot his cow!" He then walks over to the side of the house and-BLAM!

Suddenly two more shots ring out behind him, and his friend runs up, yelling, "I got the cat and dog too! Let's get the hell out of here!"


Offline ramrod

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #33 on: Oct 04, 11, 10:17:26 AM »
 ;D ;D
If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?   

Offline stka

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #34 on: Oct 04, 11, 10:22:20 AM »
LOL

Offline aquaassassin

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #35 on: Oct 04, 11, 10:26:31 AM »
haha
It's not being cocky if you can back it up!

Offline Raquettedacker

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #36 on: Oct 04, 11, 10:33:01 AM »
One I have never heard before....   Good one... ;D ;D
"Dying is the easy part. Learning how to live is the hard part..."

Offline NYSporty

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #37 on: Oct 04, 11, 11:03:21 AM »
A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville , WA. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a "recreational area", so close to waste treatment facility. And I'm sorry, but due to Obama Care, they turned me down."

Offline Raquettedacker

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #38 on: Oct 04, 11, 11:09:37 AM »
Nice...
"Dying is the easy part. Learning how to live is the hard part..."

Offline aquaassassin

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #39 on: Oct 04, 11, 11:19:21 AM »
HAHAHA nice! I like that smiley too Raquette.
It's not being cocky if you can back it up!

Offline loonyone

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #40 on: Oct 04, 11, 12:07:46 PM »

Offline Raquettedacker

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #41 on: Oct 04, 11, 04:42:23 PM »
"Dying is the easy part. Learning how to live is the hard part..."

Offline slt

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #42 on: Nov 10, 11, 07:40:43 AM »
Two guy's decide to take up hunting. Having never hunted before they go to hunter safety class prior to the season. On opening day they start off on thier first great adventure and in no time they are lost. One say's to the other, " I remember the safety instructor telling us that if we get lost we should remain calm, stay where we are and fire three spaced shots and some one will come look for us." His friend agrees and fires three spaced shots. After an hour and no help they again fire three spaced shots. Another hour passes and still no help....and it's begining to get dark. The first guy looks at his buddy and say's " we'll try it again but help better come.....these are my last three arrows.....
Fight crime. Shoot back!

Offline vermonner

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #43 on: Nov 10, 11, 09:24:08 AM »
Guy and his wife are arguing about whether he can go hunting opening day.  Saturday morning comes and he wakes up at 4:55 am.  Slides quietly out of bed.  Goes to kitchen leaves wife a note "gone hunting".  Grabs his gear and loads it into the truck.  Opens the garage door.  Driving rain, howling wind, nasty.  Says 'ta hell with it'.  Heads back in, throws away the note, sneaks back upstairs into bed.  Wife sleepily throws her arm over him.  'Storming like nobody's business out there, hon' he says and she says 'I know, and my idiot husband is out there hunting in it'

Offline walleymaster96

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Re: Hunting joke
« Reply #44 on: Nov 10, 11, 09:43:49 AM »
lol to both of em