Comic Relief!!

[chuckrudy]

like it

[Green Mountian Hunter]

hahaha       Good  one

[30-30]

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

 First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:

 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

 "Can you read this?" the optician asked.

 "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

[chuckrudy]

you have to love the polish

[hesseltine32]

Now that's a good one.

[30-30]

A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal shop.

 From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop!"

 So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex."

 Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them. He was satisfied with things they way they were. The Jamaican quickly figured out the wife felt like she was getting the short end of the stick, so to speak.

 The wife asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"

 The Jamaican replied, "Tell him to just try dem on, Lady." So the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on.

 As soon as the husband slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes. There was a level of excitement his wife hadn't seen in many years! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.

 The Jamaican began screaming, "You got dem on the wrong feet! You got dem on the wrong feet!"

[BowHunterDan]

Yeah mon!

[30-30]

A man doing market research knocked on a door. He was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.

 He says, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"

 She says, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."

 "And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?"

 "We use it for sex."

 The researcher was a little taken back. He replied with candor, "Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?"

 The woman says, "I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the door knob to keep the kids out."

[chuckrudy]

good one.

[30-30]

OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just do it until it Hz


OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just lose contact


OLD ENERGIZER BUNNIES never die, they go on, and on, and on...


OLD ENGINEERS never die, they just lose their bearings


OLD ENGLISH MAJORS do it with Strunk and White


OLD ENVIRONMENTALISTS never die, they are just recycled


OLD ESKIMOES never die, they just get cold feet


OLD ESKIMOES never die, they just go cold


OLD EXORCISTS never die, they just give up the ghost


OLD FARMERS never die, they just go to seed


OLD FARMERS never die, they just spade away


OLD FATHERS never die, they just become grandfathers


OLD FISHERMEN never die, their rods just go limp


OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just get reel tired


OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just smell that way

[BowHunterDan]

  Good one!

[CAPTJJ]

[30-30]

A married Cajun went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almos' had de affair wid annuder woman."

 The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"

 The Cajun said, "Well, we get undress' and rub together, but den I stop."

 The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

 The Cajun left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

 The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"

 The Cajun replied, "Yeah fadder, but me..I rub de $50 on de box, and 'cordin' to you, that be de same as puttin' it in."

[chuckrudy]

nice

[Green Mountian Hunter]