Author Topic: Comic Relief!!  (Read 913504 times)

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4575 on: Jun 22, 2018, 03:51:13 AM »
 ;D


Offline fishnmachine

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4576 on: Jun 22, 2018, 08:01:37 AM »
LOL! I think I resemble that remark, but I'm not sure because ....... I may be a half-wit!  ;D
It'll chew...

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4577 on: Jun 23, 2018, 03:55:25 AM »


A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.

"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well, and I just act as if I'm listening."


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4578 on: Jun 23, 2018, 07:20:42 AM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4579 on: Jun 24, 2018, 05:14:02 AM »


The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got." The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4580 on: Jun 24, 2018, 05:19:50 AM »


Mark was passing by the bar on the way home from  work when he sees his good friend Tom gulping down one shot after another. Fearing the worst, Mark charged into the bar and confronted Tom. “Tom what’s going on?” Mark asked. “It’s my wife Beckie,” Tom replied. “She ran off with my best friend!” “Hey wait a second! Said Mark “Aren’t I your best friend?” “Not any more,” Tom said with a happy smile.


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4581 on: Jun 24, 2018, 07:43:15 AM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4582 on: Jun 25, 2018, 05:34:44 AM »


A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Husband wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4583 on: Jun 25, 2018, 05:36:31 AM »


A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' And the father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4584 on: Jun 25, 2018, 04:54:27 PM »
 :D :D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4585 on: Jun 26, 2018, 04:35:55 AM »


It was the end of the day when I parked my police car in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.

"Is that a dog you got in the back seat there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the car. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4586 on: Jun 27, 2018, 03:52:33 AM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4587 on: Jun 27, 2018, 05:03:47 AM »


Little Mary was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was over, she asked her mother, “Why did the lady change her mind?”Her mother asked, “What do you mean?”"Well, she went down the aisle with one man and came back with another one.”


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4588 on: Jun 28, 2018, 03:43:49 AM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #4589 on: Jun 28, 2018, 04:35:32 AM »


A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey “Hey! What are you doing?”
The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and have some.”
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they share a joint. After a while, the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’ and is going to get a drink from the river.
The lizard climbs down the tree, walks thru the jungle to the river and leans over the river to get his drink. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?”
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with a monkey in a tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says “Hey you!”
The Monkey looks down and says, “Duuuuuuuuuude…….how much water did you drink?!”


 


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