Author Topic: Comic Relief!!  (Read 915643 times)

Offline mt.perchman

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1365 on: Apr 17, 2014, 06:12:21 PM »
My ribs are hurting!!!
Keep them coming!   ;D ;D ;D
LIVING THE DREAM IN BIG SKY MONTANA !!!

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1366 on: Apr 18, 2014, 07:12:49 AM »


The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: "There's a car being towed from the parking lot" he shouted. A few moments passed .. "An ambulance just drove by" A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company", he called out.

"Matt's riding a new bike....."

"The Coopers are having sex!"

Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously asked, "How do you know they are having sex?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."

Offline chuckrudy

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1367 on: Apr 18, 2014, 07:27:52 AM »
good one
no information

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1368 on: Apr 18, 2014, 04:32:07 PM »
 ;D ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1369 on: Apr 19, 2014, 08:09:10 AM »


A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him, and finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says..."I would have gotten out today."

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1370 on: Apr 19, 2014, 10:16:07 AM »
 ;D ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1371 on: Apr 19, 2014, 04:10:37 PM »



A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"

"Yes officer, I'm just fine!" the blonde chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ..."

"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off. "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth".
 
   

Offline chuckrudy

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1372 on: Apr 19, 2014, 04:16:51 PM »
nice
no information

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1373 on: Apr 20, 2014, 05:16:43 AM »



I needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.

He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her"...And where do you think you're going?"

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"
 
   

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1374 on: Apr 20, 2014, 07:32:09 AM »
 ;D ;D


Offline mt.perchman

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1375 on: Apr 20, 2014, 07:02:18 PM »
Thanks as always there great . Keep them coming ;D ;D ;D
LIVING THE DREAM IN BIG SKY MONTANA !!!

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1376 on: Apr 21, 2014, 04:28:08 AM »

            There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses!

I thought the results were pretty interesting:

85% of women think their ass is too big...

10% of women think their ass is too little...

The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they would have married him anyway.

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1377 on: Apr 21, 2014, 06:14:56 AM »
 ;D


Offline Raquettedacker

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1378 on: Apr 21, 2014, 06:37:04 AM »
I got called an ass a few times this weekend...   ::) ::) ::)
"Dying is the easy part. Learning how to live is the hard part..."

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #1379 on: Apr 21, 2014, 07:46:09 AM »
I got called an ass a few times this weekend...   ::) ::) ::)
              Sorry to hear that Dom.  :o

 


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