Author Topic: Comic Relief!!  (Read 912626 times)

Offline drobertsinMaryland

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #315 on: Dec 05, 2012, 08:33:33 PM »
That's not you is it? ;D ;D Good one.

Offline fishnmachine

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #316 on: Dec 05, 2012, 08:51:08 PM »
Lol! Nope. Not me. I wouldn't have fit in my ex's...or current's for that matter.
It'll chew...

Offline bassranger

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #317 on: Dec 06, 2012, 07:23:19 PM »

Offline Raquettedacker

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"Dying is the easy part. Learning how to live is the hard part..."

Offline Chucker

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #319 on: Dec 07, 2012, 04:54:24 PM »
I'm bound to stay where you sleep all day, Where they hung the jerk that invented work, in the Big Rock Candy Mountains.


Offline Otto

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #320 on: Dec 09, 2012, 06:39:17 PM »
'Three SCOTTISH Kick Rule' 

A Glasgow lawyer went duck hunting in rural Aberdeenshire . He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.   As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Scotland and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.".   The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Mintlaw. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.   The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!  His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.    Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn." 

(I love this part) 

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck." 

When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear.    When you're intelligent, you know which half. 
Boom, Done!
 

Offline huntny30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #321 on: Dec 09, 2012, 06:42:43 PM »
LOL Good One!
"Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid."
John Wayne

Offline fishnmachine

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #322 on: Dec 09, 2012, 07:11:41 PM »
 :)
It'll chew...

Offline Spikes

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #323 on: Dec 09, 2012, 07:29:00 PM »
This happened to me in a dream once..  ;D
Spikes

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #324 on: Dec 10, 2012, 03:29:29 AM »


Offline Cornbread

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #325 on: Dec 10, 2012, 08:29:35 AM »

Offline aquaassassin

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #326 on: Dec 10, 2012, 08:41:31 AM »
Lol!
It's not being cocky if you can back it up!

Offline Raquettedacker

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #327 on: Dec 10, 2012, 09:31:54 AM »
Thats great Cornbread...  I just watched Rambo a couple of weeks ago....   Not First Blood but Rambo....  It was made a couple of years ago. and at 60 something Sly was awesome.............
"Dying is the easy part. Learning how to live is the hard part..."

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #328 on: Dec 10, 2012, 11:04:20 AM »

           X2 Cornbread, that was really a good 1. Just shows how we are digressing as a society! ::)

Offline maineduckhunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #329 on: Dec 12, 2012, 05:59:26 AM »

 


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