hunting jokes

[adkRoy]

I know some of you out there have some hunting jokes to tell. Here's one told to me by a priest this past weekend.

A priest, a business man, and a Navy SEAL were all walking into the woods to go hunting. As they were walking down the woodroad a huge 10-pointer jumps out in front of them. Bang, Bang, Bang! all three shoot at the buck at the same time and down he went. Now they were all wondering who shot the killing shot. Just then a Game Warden comes up the road and they ask him to look at the deer and determine who killed it. The Game Warden goes over to the deer and carefully examines it. He comes back with a grin on his face and says "Congratulations father, you shot a nice buck!"
       "How could you tell  it was my bullet that killed the buck?" asked the priest.
    " Because like your sermons, it went in one ear and out the other"

[bear87]

 

[flockshot]

3 women go hunting....they come across some impressive tracks in the middle of a clearing...the first women insists that they are the tracks of a big buck seen running these parts....the other 2 disagree.. so the second women..wanting to prove her hunting prowress proclaims.."no..they are moose tracks..they have been making a comeback recently and they have been sitted all summer"...lady 1 and 3 disagree...lady three says"no..these are most definitly the tracks of.........."....the train conductor had fallen asleep and never saw the three ladies.

[adkRoy]

 

[millermankt]

those were both good !!!!

[the wizard]

A guy goes hunting for bear with an Indian guide:   As they are walking through the woods the indian puts his ear to the ground ,listens for a second looks at the guy and says ''bear go thatum way''.
  The guy looks back at him and says '' no way , you can tell this ..... oh cut it out!     

 After walking a short distance the indian does it again with same reply'' bear go thatum way'', the guy is  so confused with disbelief he just stared at the guide and kept following.

After about 4 or 5 more times the indan guide bends down puts his ear on the ground a then stand up very quickly looks at the hunter and say ''bear cum here''.  The hunter says with excitement how do you know this?  The indian looks him in the eyes , wipes off the side of his face and says ''EAR STICKY""

[bear87]

A guy goes hunting for bear with an Indian guide:   As they are walking through the woods the indian puts his ear to the ground ,listens for a second looks at the guy and says ''bear go thatum way''.
  The guy looks back at him and says '' no way , you can tell this ..... oh cut it out!     

 After walking a short distance the indian does it again with same reply'' bear go thatum way'', the guy is  so confused with disbelief he just stared at the guide and kept following.

After about 4 or 5 more times the indan guide bends down puts his ear on the ground a then stand up very quickly looks at the hunter and say ''bear cum here''.  The hunter says with excitement how do you know this?  The indian looks him in the eyes , wipes off the side of his face and says ''EAR STICKY""

That is wrong!!! 

[adkRoy]

Hey wiz,
   that was a good one. Come on people there have to be more hunting jokes out there.

[fshnfool]

you'll have to have some french background to find this funny but a few years back while driving around some tote roads scouting different areas, we came across some property that had signs that read...... "No Hunting  No Dogs"     


 so, needless to say, being a couple french wise@sses, came up w/ the perfect reply.....
                                            
......"We no hunting no dogs......we hunting deer"..   

[adkRoy]

I love it ff!!!!

[fshnfool]

one morning, this old man was sitting on his front porch when a young boy comes walking up the road with a small roll of chicken wire. The man asks the boy "where ya goin with that there chicken wire, young fella?"  the boy looks up at the old man and says  "goin to hunt me some chickens, sir."  "Chickens?" the old man says, "you ain't gonna get no chickens with no chickenwire, son." so the boy keeps walkin and later that afternoon, walks back by with about 1/2 a dozen chickens all wrapped up in the wire. the old man scratches his head in wonder.
    The following day, the young boy comes walking by the old mans house with a roll of duct tape in his hands and the old man asks "where ya goin with that there duct tape, sonny?"  "goin to get me some ducks, sir", says the boy.  "You ain't gonna catch you no ducks with that duct tape, boy...you need a gun and some decoys."  So later that afternoon, sure enough, the boy comes waltzing back by the old mans house with about a dozen ducks all stuck together in a big wad of duct tape. Old fella can't believe his eyes.

Third morning comes around and the old man is on his rocking chair, reading the paper on his front porch when he sees the boy coming up the road with a bunch of long weed like brush in his hands...."Now what you got there, sonny?" 



"Pussywillows" says the boy.




"YOU WAIT RIGHT THERE SONNY TILL I GET MY COAT" 

[Out4Trout]

  

There were two blondes out hunting for the first time and they actually shot deer. Well they started dragging it out of the woods by the hind legs. They tugged and plulled for about a half an hour when they met another hunter. The guy said "you know, it would be easier to drag that deer by the head". So the girls took his advice and about a half hour later stopped and said "that guy wasn't so smart, we're rigt back where we started". 

I know, stupid, but it's all I can come up with.

[fshnfool]

a blonde hunting along a river trail spots another blonde on the opposite side of the river gutting a deer.  Thinking there's better opportunity on that side she yells to the other blonde."HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RIVER?"

after a short pause the other blonde yells back...."YOU'RE ALREADY ON THE OTHER SIDE!!"

[shrub]

3 guys are in a deer camp drinking the night before deer season. and they get pretty buzzed. and the next day they go out hunting and one of them had a wicked hang over. he hunted for about an hour and decided that sense he hadn't seen anything he would sit down by a tree And try to sleep it off. mean while the other two were tracking a big buck and then one shot it. and it fell right next to the sleeping hunter. being nice guys they decided not to wake him. so they gutted the deer and dragged it out. a few hours later the hunter wakes up and is still pretty hung over and he starts throwing up like you wouldn't believe. so he figures. that he is took sick to stay in the woods and starts walking back to camp. when he gets there the other two hunters are out side admiring their buck and they see him and one of them says " where were you we were getting worried" and he says " well i took a nap and then i woke up and pucked my guts out and had to shove them back in."