Author Topic: Comic Relief!!  (Read 912692 times)

Offline lewk24

  • 10 Pointer
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,383
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #825 on: Jun 18, 2013, 08:42:57 AM »
Haha good stuff...

Luke
5

Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 6,876
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #826 on: Jun 18, 2013, 01:20:07 PM »

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a

BREASTED AMERICAN. '

 

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

 


3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

 


4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a

'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

 


5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

 


6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a

'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

 


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

 


2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is


'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'


3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'


4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'


5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'




6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'




 




Life is short... forgive quickly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably...
 and never regret anything that made you smile




 



 -


Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections             

Offline loonyone

  • Non-typical 13 Pointer
  • *******
  • Posts: 3,341
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #827 on: Jun 18, 2013, 01:30:57 PM »
OMG you kook

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 9,246
  • FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #828 on: Jun 18, 2013, 04:04:41 PM »
OMG you kook
X-2 I was thinking the same thing  :D :D


Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 6,876
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #829 on: Jun 18, 2013, 05:09:47 PM »
OMG you kook
             I didn't write it, I just posted it. ???

Offline fishnmachine

  • 8 Pointer
  • ****
  • Posts: 651
  • Take 'em!
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #830 on: Jun 18, 2013, 08:23:24 PM »
It'll chew...

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 9,246
  • FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #831 on: Jun 19, 2013, 03:43:16 AM »
Nice one  ;D ;D ;D


Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 6,876
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #832 on: Jun 25, 2013, 04:28:11 PM »

                   A Catholic teenager goes to confession, and after confessing to an affair with a girl, is told by the priest that he can't be forgiven unless he reveals who the girl is. "I promised not to tell!" he says. "Was it Mary Patricia, the butcher's daughter?" the priest asks. "No, and I said I wouldn't tell." "Was it Mary Elizabeth, the printer's daughter?" "No, and I still won't tell!" 'Was it Mary Francis, the baker's daughter?" "No," says the boy. 'Well, son," says the priest, "I have no choice but to excommunicate you for six months." Outside, the boy's friends ask what happened. "Well," he says, "I got six months, but three good leads."

Offline chuckrudy

  • 10 Pointer
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,259
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #833 on: Jun 25, 2013, 04:55:41 PM »
I like it :)
no information

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 9,246
  • FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #834 on: Jun 25, 2013, 05:20:05 PM »
Nice  ;D ;D ;D


Offline stka

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 6,221
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #835 on: Jun 25, 2013, 06:07:50 PM »

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 9,246
  • FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #836 on: Jun 26, 2013, 03:51:17 AM »
 ;D ;D   We sure are  ;D ;D


Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 6,876
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #837 on: Jun 27, 2013, 04:25:01 AM »

           A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. "There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. "I’m too young to die. I’m only fifty five." "Fifty five?" says Saint Peter. "No, according to out calculations, you’re eighty two." "How’s you get that?" the lawyer asks. Answers St. Peter: "We added up your time sheets."

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 9,246
  • FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #838 on: Jun 27, 2013, 04:31:44 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D


Offline 30-30

  • 30 Point Buck
  • ********
  • Posts: 6,876
  • Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #839 on: Jul 01, 2013, 03:35:17 PM »

           Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. That evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 point buck. "Where's George?" one of the men asked, noticing that Sam had returned alone. "He's about 6 miles back. He tripped and broke his ankle. I left him there 'cause I figured ain't nobody 'bout to steal him."

 


SimplePortal 2.3.7 © 2008-2024, SimplePortal