Comic Relief!!

[Green Mountian Hunter]

                                

[mt.perchman]

Wife and I are laughing !!!!!!

[30-30]

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

[Green Mountian Hunter]

hehehe   

[30-30]

A little girl asked her mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

Mom replies, "No because she is in heat."

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with petrol and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "I've heard that's supposed to work. Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.

Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

The little girl said, "She ran out of petrol about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.

[chuckrudy]

good one

[30-30]

•The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
•The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
•The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans
•The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
•The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
 
CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[mt.perchman]

LOL   

[stka]

[30-30]

             That's funny Steve!

[30-30]

                  This story is similar to one told before with a different twist.

Two couples were playing Poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he notice Bill's wife Sue spread her legs wide, and wasn't wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John, upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments.

Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything you liked under there?"

Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well, indeed he did.

She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500."

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial as well as the moral costs of this offer, John indicates that he is indeed interested. She tells him that since her husband, Bill, works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, that John should be at her house around 2:00 Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house for the planned time with Sue at 2:00pm sharp and after paying her the agreed sum of $500, they went to the bedroom and closed their sexual transaction as Sue had promised. Afterwards, John quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bill came home from work at 6:00pm and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly, "Did John come by the house this afternoon?"

A little worried, Bill's wife answered, "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon."

Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?"

In terror, she assumed that somehow he had found out, and after mustering up her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500."

Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."

[chuckrudy]

good one

[Green Mountian Hunter]

hehehe

[mt.perchman]

LOL