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Comic Relief!!
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Topic: Comic Relief!! (Read 975427 times)
30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,910
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6210 on:
Jun 21, 2022, 04:34:35 AM »
An egg and a chicken sit in a doctor’s waiting room.
A nurse walks out of the office and asks, “Alright, which one of you came first?”
“Seriously!” shouts the chicken. ”Here, too?!”
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,910
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6211 on:
Jun 22, 2022, 04:40:44 AM »
A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.
"What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc.
Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand. "Yes Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout Master.
Timmy replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
"Why's that Timmy?"
"Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."
"And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master impatiently.
"Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten!"
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,262
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6212 on:
Jun 22, 2022, 06:27:26 AM »
«
Last Edit: Jun 22, 2022, 06:29:58 AM by Green Mountian Hunter
»
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,910
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6213 on:
Jun 24, 2022, 04:25:27 AM »
God asks asks Adam how he's doing, - "Well, it's ok but I am abit lonely".
"Ok" God answers. - "Let's do something about it. I can give you the most wonderful and satisfactory being and friend you'll ever need you'll never be lonely again, and you'll have everything you ever need".
"But it means I need your arm and leg to create that being".
Adam ponders and isn't willing to sacrifice his arm and leg. -"Ok" God says again.
"With only your leg, I can make a nice and welcoming partner for you, giving you no grief only happiness"
Adam ponders again - he is rather lonely but really wants his leg.
"What can I get for one of my rib bones ?" Adam finally replies
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,262
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6214 on:
Jun 25, 2022, 02:43:55 AM »
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,910
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6215 on:
Jun 25, 2022, 04:38:34 AM »
Two secretaries were talking about their work.
"I hate filing," said one. "No matter how careful I am, I can never find the papers I'm looking for. I forget where I have filed them."
"I used to have that problem too, but no more," her blonde friend said. "Now I make 26 copies of everything I type and file one under each letter of the alphabet. That way, I can't miss it!"
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,262
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6216 on:
Jun 25, 2022, 04:48:38 AM »
;Dout
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,910
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6217 on:
Jun 29, 2022, 03:59:01 AM »
I went to see my doctor this morning. “Some one decided to graffiti my house last night!” I raged.
“So why are you telling me?” the doctor asked.
“I can't understand the writing,” I replied. “Was it you?”
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,262
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6218 on:
Jun 29, 2022, 04:10:12 AM »
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,910
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6219 on:
Jun 30, 2022, 04:34:34 AM »
The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student, "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked.
"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied.
"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the dean much impressed.
"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it."
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,262
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6220 on:
Jun 30, 2022, 04:38:21 AM »
«
Last Edit: Jun 30, 2022, 04:40:43 AM by Green Mountian Hunter
»
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,910
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6221 on:
Jul 01, 2022, 04:46:37 AM »
A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was reciting it all by herself without help from her mother.
She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail."
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,262
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6222 on:
Jul 01, 2022, 05:16:56 AM »
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,910
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6223 on:
Jul 04, 2022, 04:59:25 AM »
A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink.
He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"
But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once, but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."
The bartender said, "Your only son, I'm guessing."
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,910
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #6224 on:
Jul 05, 2022, 03:50:12 AM »
A secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you."
"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once."
"Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile."
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