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General Hunting Discussion / Re: Comic Relief!!
« Last post by Green Mountian Hunter on Today at 12:25:04 PM »![Cheesy :D](https://www.myhuntingforum.com/hunting_forum/Smileys/default/cheesy.gif)
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General Hunting Discussion / Re: Comic Relief!!« Last post by Green Mountian Hunter on Today at 12:25:04 PM »![]() 2
General Hunting Discussion / Re: Comic Relief!!« Last post by 30-30 on Today at 05:10:39 AM »A bar owner in the Old West has just hired a timid new bartender. The owner of the establishment is giving his new hire some instructions on running the place. He tells the timid man, "If you ever hear that Big John is coming to town, drop everything and run for the hills!! He's the meanest, biggest, nastiest outlaw who ever lived!!" A few weeks pass uneventfully. But one afternoon, a local cowhand comes running through town yelling, "Big John is coming to town!! Run for your lives!!!" When the bartender exits the saloon to start running, he's knocked to the ground by several townspeople scurrying out of town. As he's picking himself up, he sees a large man approaching the saloon, probably about 7 feet tall, muscular, grunting and growling as he walks. He stomps up to the door, orders the poor barkeep inside, and demands, "I want a beer NOW!!" He pounds his heavy fist on the bar, splitting it in half. The bartender nervously hands the big man a beer, hands shaking. He takes the beer, rips the top of the bottle off with his teeth, and downs the beer in one gulp. As the poor timid bartender cowers behind the bar, the big man gets up to leave. "Do you want another beer?" the bartender calls out. "Dang it, I don't have time!!" the big man yells. "I gotta get out of town!!! Didn't ya hear Big John is a-comin??" 3
General Hunting Discussion / Re: Comic Relief!!« Last post by Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 26, 2024, 05:41:47 AM »![]() 4
General Hunting Discussion / Re: Comic Relief!!« Last post by 30-30 on Apr 26, 2024, 05:15:28 AM »I stopped at a fast-food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat-Free French Fries. I decided to give them a try. I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer, which was dripping with fat. He filled a bag with these fries and put them in my order. "Just a minute!" I said. "Those aren't fat-free." "Yes, they are. We only charge for the potatoes . . . the fat is free!" 5
General Hunting Discussion / Re: Comic Relief!!« Last post by 30-30 on Apr 25, 2024, 05:28:13 AM »On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $25 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $50. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $100. Are there any questions?" At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass" 6
Hunting New York / Re: Turkeys« Last post by CAPTJJ on Apr 24, 2024, 04:04:03 PM »My boat is in a lot down by the county airport, right near farm country and a lot more turkeys down there. Pulling out yesterday there were 2 jakes strutting behind a hen inside the airport fence, safe from predators in there. I pulled over and made a couple lousy yelps without a call and they were gobbling back.
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General Hunting Discussion / Re: Comic Relief!!« Last post by Green Mountian Hunter on Apr 24, 2024, 06:31:12 AM »![]() 8
General Hunting Discussion / Re: Comic Relief!!« Last post by 30-30 on Apr 24, 2024, 04:14:31 AM »Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do." Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers." The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers? It's 1999. We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on and made you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?" Jon says, "Well, sh*t, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up." 9
General Hunting Discussion / Re: Comic Relief!!« Last post by 30-30 on Apr 23, 2024, 04:55:31 AM »Two Roofers, Bob and Dan, were putting a new roof on a barn when a bundle of shingles slid down the slope and knocked the ladder over. Bob and Dan decided since it was early they would continue working because someone would surely come around by quitting time. It was nearing 5 PM and they hadn't seen hide nor hair of anyone. So, they walked around the roof a few times and finally decided there was only one way down. On the West side of the barn was a big manure pile. Bob says, "It's the only way down. I will go first." Bob jumped. Dan heard the squishy landing and yelled, "Hey Bob! How deep did you go?" Bob yells back, "I went to my ankles Dan, come on JUMP!" Dan jumps and goes clear up to his neck in manure. He says to Bob, "I thought when you jumped you went up to your ankles?" Bob replies, "I did, but I landed head first!" 10
Hunting New York / Re: Turkeys« Last post by CAPTJJ on Apr 22, 2024, 06:07:31 PM »Nice, that's a thick beard on that one.
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