Comic Relief!!

[the wizard]

OH Man 30-30 that video of the dog is great !   Thanks.

[30-30]

A blonde and a friend were walking down the street. One blonde noticed
 a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it,
 looked in the mirror and said, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar."

 Her friend said, "Let me look!"

 So the blonde handed her the compact.

 Her friend looked in the mirror and said, "You dummy, of course she
 looks familiar, it's me!"

[30-30]

After being away on business, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his
 wife a little gift.

How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

 "That's a bit much," said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for
 $30.00.

"That's still quite a bit," Tom groused.

 Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

 "What I mean," said Tom, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

So the clerk handed him a mirror.

[chuckrudy]

good one.

[30-30]

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

[chuckrudy]

nice

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said
 the sarcastic teacher.

 After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?"
 inquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see
 you standing up there all by yourself."

[30-30]

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was
 speeding down Main Street.

 "But officer," the man began, "I can explain..."

 "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool
 your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

 "But, officer, I just wanted to say...,"

 "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
 
 A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and
 said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's
 wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

 "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell.
 "I'm the groom."

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

     
Why Dogs Are Better Than Wives
 

Dogs don't cry.

*
Dogs love it when your friends come over.

*
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

*
Dogs think you sing great.

*
A dog's time in the bathroom is limited to a quick drink.

*
Dogs don't expect you to call them when you're running late.

*
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.

*
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

*
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dogs name.

*
Dogs are excited by rough play.

*
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

*
Dogs can appreciate excess body hair.

*
Anyone can get a good looking dog.

*
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

*
Dogs don't shop.

*
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

*
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

*
A dog's parents never come to visit.

*
Dogs love long car trips.

*
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

*
Dogs don't hate their bodies.

*
No dog ever bought a Kenny G. album.

*
No dog ever put on a hundred pounds after reaching adulthood.

*
Dogs never criticize.

*
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

*
Dogs never expect gifts.

*
Dogs don't worry about germs.

*
Dogs like to do their snooping outside, as opposed to your wallet, desk or
sock drawer.

*
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their life.

*
Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger than a lobster dinner.

*
You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready 24 hours a day.

*
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

*
Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

*
Dogs never want a foot rub.

*
Dogs can't talk.

*
Dogs aren't catty.

*
Dogs seldom outlive you.




 

 
                 

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[mt.perchman]

😂😂😂😂
Thanks keep them coming !!

[30-30]

The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when  Emily, a young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap.  Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?'

'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly.

'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What  would you like me to bring her?'

Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'

[Green Mountian Hunter]