Comic Relief!!

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GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do ?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[Green Mountian Hunter]

   

                                         

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A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."

[Green Mountian Hunter]

                              Why do ducks fly over Irving upside down?
                              There's nothing worth craping on!

[Green Mountian Hunter]

                         Little Old Lady;
                A little old lady got on a city bus, and sat down behind the bus driver.
                After a couple minutes, she asked him,
               "Hey, mister! Want some peanuts?", and held up a bag full. "Sure!", he said,
                and popped a handful in his mouth. After eating several more, he asked,
                "Hey...don't you want to have some of these?" "Nope," the old lady replied,
                "Ain't got no teeth! I just likes the chocolate on the outsides!

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[Green Mountian Hunter]

                           Aging Blonde

                   Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?

                   She couldn't find the 10 key.

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A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night ? That's very commendable. What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed !"

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

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An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area."

 "Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[Green Mountian Hunter]

                                             Stand Up
                   
                           "Yesterday, a group of scientists warned that because of global warming,
                             sea levels will rise so much that parts of New Jersey will be under water.
                             The bad news? Parts of New Jersey won't be under water."