Author Topic: Comic Relief!!  (Read 913846 times)

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #645 on: Apr 06, 2013, 05:26:06 PM »



                     :) :)  Nice   Jeff
« Last Edit: Apr 06, 2013, 05:26:44 PM by Green Mountian Hunter »


Offline Raquettedacker

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #646 on: Apr 06, 2013, 05:49:30 PM »
A Cowboy was going deer hunting.. His blonde wife said she was going with him.. That they never did anything together.. So, they went.. He put her in a stand by herself..
Later in the morning he heard her shoot.. He went over to her stand and she was pointing her rifle at a guy with a cowboy hat on..

The guy was telling her, Mamm, you can have the deer you shot.. I just want to take my saddle off of him!

"Dying is the easy part. Learning how to live is the hard part..."

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #647 on: Apr 07, 2013, 05:31:57 PM »

      Blonde paint job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari

Offline chuckrudy

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #648 on: Apr 07, 2013, 06:00:32 PM »
nice 8) 8)
no information

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #649 on: Apr 08, 2013, 11:35:31 PM »

         Three blondes were sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden came up behind them, tapped one on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses." "But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river." The warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, he left. As soon as he was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?!"


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #650 on: Apr 09, 2013, 04:19:33 AM »




           ;D ;D ;D


Offline hesseltine32

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #651 on: Apr 09, 2013, 11:11:14 AM »
Nice 30-30 lol

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #652 on: Apr 11, 2013, 09:20:50 PM »
A blonde goes into a near by store and asks the clerk if she can buy the T.V. in the corner. The store clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day and asks the same thing, and again he said he doesn't serve blondes.
 
Frustrated, the blonde goes back home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
 
Sure the clerk would sell her the T.V. by now, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
 
To her astonishment, this clerk also says she doesn't serve blondes as well.
 
The blond asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I'm a blonde?"
 
The clerk looks at her and says, "That's not a T.V.- it's a microwave

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #653 on: Apr 12, 2013, 04:05:38 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #654 on: Apr 12, 2013, 03:37:07 PM »

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,"I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked,"Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy!  I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband.

That's against the law!  I'll lose my license!  They'll throw both of us in jail!

All kinds of bad things will happen.   Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different.  You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

 


Offline Raquettedacker

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #655 on: Apr 12, 2013, 03:38:22 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Dying is the easy part. Learning how to live is the hard part..."

Offline hesseltine32

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #656 on: Apr 12, 2013, 04:52:30 PM »
Haha  ;D

Offline maineduckhunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #657 on: Apr 12, 2013, 06:46:43 PM »

Offline maineduckhunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #658 on: Apr 12, 2013, 06:59:50 PM »

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #659 on: Apr 13, 2013, 08:10:32 AM »


              ;D ;D ;D


 


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