Comic Relief!!

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[joe snag]

Ready for another Jeff..

[Green Mountian Hunter]

Yea what you got Jeff 

[mt.perchman]

Thank you guys those just made my day even better..keep it up!!!

[30-30]

             It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little Antartian got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation.
 She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard; she should wait for a snowplow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snowdrift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snowplow went by and she started to follow it. As she follows the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.
 After quite sometime had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snowplow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snowplow when caught in a blizzard.
 The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to K-Mart next.

[Green Mountian Hunter]

hehehe   

[30-30]

        Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a fool-proof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, lets get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?" The guy in the front says, "Well, I don't know how about you but I'm going to start nibbling grass."

[Green Mountian Hunter]

    hehehe 

[30-30]

               
 
There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very
depressed because he loved to play golf. One day in his despair, he
decided to commit suicide.
 
He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He
was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man down on the side
walk skipping along, whooping and kicking up his heels.
 
He looked closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all.
 
He started thinking, "What am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself?
I still have one good arm to do things with."
 
He thought "There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so
happy, and going on with his life."
 
He hurried down to the side walk and caught up with the man with no
arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he lost one of his
arms and felt useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him for
saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if the
guy could go on with no arms.
 
The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels
again.
 
He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?"
 
He said, "I'm NOT happy. My balls itch."
 

[chuckrudy]

Like it.

[Green Mountian Hunter]

Good one 

[joe snag]

Ok---i'll try one------
My 94 year old grandmother was driving down the route 30 in Fulton County and a deputy pulled her over,as he waddled his 400lbs body up to the car,peeked in the window as the window rolled and she said WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT,as he jumped back ,urine ran down his leg and then said c cccccccan I see your drivers license,she said yes no problem but I have a 22 derringer in my wallet,don't be alarmed,,,he said O o ooo ok,,I must see your Registration,she said it's in my glove box and I have a loaded .44 magum in there also,,he said just take it out slooooooowly,,she did,the he said I have to see your insurance card  too,she said it's in the center consoul under my 9mm Luger,I'll take it out slowly for you chump,,after everything was OK he said I have one question for you mam,,with all these guns what are you so afraid of,,,,,
she looked the chunky deputy in the eyes and said NOT A GODDAM THING.................. 

[chuckrudy]

  I like it.

[30-30]

             Good one HB.

[Green Mountian Hunter]

Nice