Comic Relief!!

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[Green Mountian Hunter]

                 


                       What does a superhero put in his beverages?

                       Just ice.




 

[30-30]

                   

[30-30]

A kid from Mississippi is on Harvard campus for the first time, he stops a student and asks, "Excuse me, can you tell me where the library is at?" The Harvard student replies "At Harvard, you don’t end a sentence with a preposition." The kid said, "Sorry about that. Can you tell me where the library is at, a$$hole!"

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[Green Mountian Hunter]

             A blonde was speeding in a 25 mile per hour residental zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over.
            The female police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde.

             She asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman,
            "What does a driver's license look like?' Irritated, the blonde cop said, "Don't be a smartass!, it's got your picture on it!"

            The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom.
            She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman.

           The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And,
            if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."

[30-30]

                     

[30-30]

A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.

Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?"

She replies, "Soup and ice cream.

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[Green Mountian Hunter]

                       Why did the man wear his wedding ring on the wrong finger?

                       Because he was married to the wrong woman.

[Green Mountian Hunter]

                                Why did the chicken go to Burger King?
                                To see a chicken strip.

[30-30]

                             

[30-30]

A panda walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food!" The panda yells back, "Hey man, I'm a panda. Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary to panda, "A tree climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats, shoots, and leaves

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[Green Mountian Hunter]

                  A blonde was speeding in a 25 mile per hour residental zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over.
                  The female police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde.

                  She asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman,
                 "What does a driver's license look like?' Irritated, the blonde cop said, "Don't be a smartass!, it's got your picture on it!"

                  The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom.
                  She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman.
         
                  The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said,
                  "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."