Comic Relief!!

[loonyone]

hehehehehehehe

[Green Mountian Hunter]

hahahahaha

[30-30]

After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the obstetrician. "Doctor," he said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine."

 "Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."

 "It isn't possible," the man insisted. "We're pure Asian."

 "Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"

 The man seemed ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice a month."

 "There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It's just rust."

[30-30]

A young couple got married. On their honeymoon, they were very anxious about having sex because they were both virgins. Because of their sexual inexperience, they were a bit uncomfortable discussing the subject so they came up with the term "doing the laundry" to use in place of "having sex."

 This made them both more comfortable with the whole concept. Well, the first night of their honeymoon was wonderful. They "did the laundry" 5 times that first night. In the middle of the night the new husband woke up, and he was ready to do the laundry again. He gently shook his new wife and asked her, "Can we do the laundry again?" but she was very tired.

 She told him that she just couldn't do it again just yet. Maybe in the morning. A few hours later the new wife awoke feeling very guilty. What he had asked for wasn't unreasonable, and she decided she should go ahead and "do the laundry" with him again.

 She gently shook him and said, "Honey, I'm sorry I denied you... We can do the laundry again if you want,"

 He replied, "That's ok... It was a small load... I did it by hand."

[chuckrudy]

like it

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[CAPTJJ]

 

[30-30]

 

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.

 The first dwarf, however, is unable to get a stiffy. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of, "ONE, TWO, THREE...UUUUH!" all night long.

 In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"

 The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I just couldn't get a hard on."

 The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?" he asked. "I couldn't even get on the bed!!!"

[chuckrudy]

nice

[Green Mountian Hunter]

Nice 

[joe snag]

good----------

[Raquettedacker]

 

[30-30]

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.

 "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.

 "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."

 "Why?" asked the pilot.

 "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation.

 After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"

[chuckrudy]

I like it.

[30-30]

At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician running for the presidency, "Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this."

 "The truth is," replied the Politician, "That she has a big mouth."