Comic Relief!!

[30-30]

              A young polar bear came into his den and asked his mother, "Mom am I a real polar bear?" "Of course you are." His mother replied. The young polar bear asked his father. "Dad, am I a real polar bear?" "Yes, you are a real polar bear." A week passed and the young polar bear asked his parents, "Are grandma and grandpa real polar bears?" "Yes" said his parents. Another week passed and the young polar bear asked his parents, "Are all my relatives real polar bears?" "Yes, they are all real polar bears." Said his parents. "Why do you ask?" replied his mother. "Because," said the young polar bear, "I'm freaken freezing!

[chuckrudy]

I'am freezing to. Hate this damn snow.

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[joe snag]

I'm thinking about sun bathing tomorrow-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------just thinking...........

[fishnmachine]

[Green Mountian Hunter]

Nice 

[30-30]

                Dear friends, it is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following:

 The Pillsbury Doughboy died Monday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded".

 Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man, he was considered a roll model for millions.

 Toward the end it was thought he'd rise once again, but he was no tart. Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two children, and one in the oven.

 The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

[Green Mountian Hunter]

Not going to be the same now always wanted to poke his belly to see if he would giggle for me as well , Going to miss the little guy 

[fishnmachine]

 

[30-30]

A young couple were married and they were having sex all the time during their honeymoon.

When the honeymoon was over they had to adjust their sex schedule to their work schedule. So every day the husband would get home at 5 o'clock, and every day they would go to bed at 5:15.

This went on for months, never missing a day until the wife came down with the flu and went to the doctor to get a flu shot.

The shot killed all the germs inside her except for three. These three germs were huddled together inside her body talking over their survival plans.

One germ said, "I am going to hide between two toes on her left foot. I don't think the antibiotics will find me there".

A second exclaimed, "I am going to hide behind her right ear. I don't think they'll find me there."

The last germ said, "I don't know about you guys, but when that 5:15 pulls out tonight, I'm gonna be on it!"

[Raquettedacker]

 

[chuckrudy]

like it.

[Green Mountian Hunter]

       

[joe snag]

good one....

[30-30]

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

 There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

 So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

 On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

 Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

 The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

 The second floor sign reads:

 Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

 The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

 The third floor sign reads:

 Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

 "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

 The fourth floor sign reads:

 Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

 "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

 The fifth floor sign reads:

 Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

 "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

 The sixth floor sign reads:

 Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.