Comic Relief!!

[hickgtx600f4]

nice ones

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his
 

razor-sharp legal mind.

 Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything

about this subject?"

 Professor: "Actually, I think I probably do.

Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, would I?"

 Student: "Okay. So I'd like to ask you a question. If you can give

me the correct answer, I will accept the marks you've given me.

However, you'll have to agree that if you can't give me the

correct answer you'll change my grade to an "A".

 Professor: "Hmmmm, all right. So what's the question?"

 Student: "What is legal but not logical,

logical but not legal,

and neither logical nor legal?"

 The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can't crack

the answer. Finally he gives up and changes the student's

failing mark into an "A" as agreed, and the student goes

away, very pleased.

 All afternoon the professor continues to wrack his brain over

the question but still can't get the answer. So finally he calls in

a group of his brightest students and tells them he has a

really, really tough question to answer:


"What is legal but not logical,

logical but not legal,

and neither logical nor legal?"

 To the professor's surprise (and embarrassment), all

the students immediately raise their hands.
 The professor asks his favourite student to answer.

 "Well, it's quite easy, sir," says the student.

 

"You see, you are 75-years-old and married to a

30-year-old woman, which is legal, but not logical.

 Your wife has a 22-year-old lover,

which is logical, but not legal.

 

And your wife's lover failed his exam, but you've just

given him an "A", which is neither legal nor logical."

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

In the early 1930's, a farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.

 "$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That's too much," said the farmer.

 The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10."

 The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."

 "Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."

[chuckrudy]

nice

[hesseltine32]

Haha

[30-30]

A small zoo in North Carolina obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a
few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon
examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat.
To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their
problem, the zoo keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker
responsible for cleaning the animal cages.
 
 
 
Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to
satisfy a female of any species.
The zoo keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with
a proposition: would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
 
Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to
think the matter over carefully. The next day,he announced he would
 accept their
offer, but only under
 five conditions:
 
"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The keeper
quickly agreed to this condition.
 
"Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' t-shirt." The
keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
 
"Third", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this."
The keeper again readily agreed
 to this condition.
 
"Fourth," Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once
again it was agreed.
 
And last, Bobby Lee said, "I'm gonna need another week to come up with the
 
$500.00."
 

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[chuckrudy]

I like it.

[fishnmachine]

   LMFAO!!  I started laughing at the words "Bobby Lee Walton"!!! 

[30-30]

Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.

First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows."

Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows."

Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows."

Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp.

First Bull: "I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend."

Second Bull: "I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I'm certainly not looking for an argument."

They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting.

First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish -- let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."

Third Bull: "Hell, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."

[chuckrudy]

good one.

[Green Mountian Hunter]

nice 

[30-30]

Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?

A: Because they have big fingers.