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Comic Relief!!
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Topic: Comic Relief!! (Read 956428 times)
30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,901
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1470 on:
May 18, 2014, 05:42:42 PM »
A sucessful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life in the big city and decides to chuck it all. He takes his savings and purchases a large ranch in the middle of nowhere in Montana. After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude he hears the drumming of hoofbeats outside his cabin. Grabbing his rifle he challenges the man riding up on the horse. "Hold it neighbor" the man says, " I'm your neighbor, I have a ranch only 6 miles from here, and I want to invite you to a Welcome Party I'm throwing for you next Saturday. There's going to be music, dancing, hugging, kissing, drinking, fighting.... We'll have a great time". Not wanting to be unneighborly the new rancher lowers the rifle and ask's " How should I dress?" " Aw, don't matter" replied the neighbor, " Only gonna be the two of us".
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Green Mountian Hunter
30 Point Buck
Posts: 9,256
FREE DROBS !!!!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1471 on:
May 19, 2014, 03:43:54 AM »
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,901
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1472 on:
May 19, 2014, 04:54:43 AM »
At breakfast the husband says to his wife "What would you do if I won the Lottery?".
And she replied: "I'd take my half and leave you".
"Great" he says. "Here's $6.00. I won $12.00 yesterday! Stay in touch".
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CAPTJJ
Non-typical 13 Pointer
Posts: 3,927
Bowhunter
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1473 on:
May 19, 2014, 07:53:49 AM »
Logged
Its always archery season. >>>---------->
Hybrid longbow in hand.
30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,901
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1474 on:
May 19, 2014, 05:25:49 PM »
A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands. "At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works - hell, even the urinal's gold!" The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story. "Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone. "Yes it is," bartender answers. "Do you have huge golden doors?" "Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?" "Most certainly do." "What about golden urinals?" There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that peed in your saxophone last night!
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30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,901
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1475 on:
May 20, 2014, 03:55:15 AM »
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails , he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?" He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They ended up spending the night together. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, "Come on guys, we're almost there!!"
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CAPTJJ
Non-typical 13 Pointer
Posts: 3,927
Bowhunter
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1476 on:
May 20, 2014, 05:33:44 PM »
Logged
Its always archery season. >>>---------->
Hybrid longbow in hand.
Raquettedacker
Cactus Buck
Posts: 13,748
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1477 on:
May 20, 2014, 07:50:15 PM »
Logged
"Dying is the easy part. Learning how to live is the hard part..."
30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,901
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1478 on:
May 21, 2014, 03:14:57 AM »
It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class. The teacher told the class that each student could tell the class 1 thing they got for Christmas. So, the teacher calls on a girl to come up to the front of the class and tell everyone 1 thing she got. "My daddy got me a Bow-Wow," she said. The teacher tells the class that they are old enough to know the correct words for things without using nicknames. The teacher tells the girl to try again. The girl thinks real hard ........ "My dad got me a dog," she said. She sat down and a boy got up and said, "I got a choo-choo!" The teacher scolded him and told him to try again. The boy thought hard and said, "I got an electric train!!" That boy sits down and a really shy kid gets up and sadly says, "I got a book" The teacher feels bad for the kid and she asks, "What was the title of the book??" The boy thinks very hard. The class waits as the boy is thinking. Finally, the boys face brightened and he said, "Winnie The Sh*t!!
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CAPTJJ
Non-typical 13 Pointer
Posts: 3,927
Bowhunter
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1479 on:
May 21, 2014, 11:44:12 AM »
Logged
Its always archery season. >>>---------->
Hybrid longbow in hand.
fishnmachine
8 Pointer
Posts: 651
Take 'em!
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1480 on:
May 21, 2014, 11:52:40 AM »
Boy, that's a mouthful!
Logged
It'll chew...
30-30
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,901
Hunt America
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1481 on:
May 21, 2014, 05:39:00 PM »
I use to be a "T" shirt in another life. hehe
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Raquettedacker
Cactus Buck
Posts: 13,748
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1482 on:
May 21, 2014, 06:06:06 PM »
My mouth isn't big enough...
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"Dying is the easy part. Learning how to live is the hard part..."
stka
30 Point Buck
Posts: 6,221
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1483 on:
May 22, 2014, 10:07:45 AM »
Logged
hesseltine32
12 Pointer
Posts: 2,081
Run and Gun
Re: Comic Relief!!
«
Reply #1484 on:
May 22, 2014, 12:07:29 PM »
Smh. Hopefully this person is sterile
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