Author Topic: Comic Relief!!  (Read 915827 times)

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5760 on: Aug 04, 2021, 03:51:00 AM »


Once upon a time there was this guy who bought a hang glider and took it out to the mountains to fly it. He was cruising along a few hundred feet above the treetops when he spots these two hunters down below. He hollers and waves at them, trying to be sociable.
Suddenly the hunters look up and they both fire their double barrel shotguns at him.
When the hang glider was out of sight one of the hunters turns to the other and says, "What kinda bird you reckon that was?"
The other hunter replies, "I don't rightly know, but I think we hit it."
"How's that?"
"You saw how fast he dropped that man he was caring, didn't ya?"


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5761 on: Aug 04, 2021, 06:04:50 AM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5762 on: Aug 05, 2021, 03:39:25 AM »


A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complained,
"I've been a little sick to my stomach."
The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why don't you cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"
As they left the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How'd you come to your diagnosis so quickly?"
"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick."
"Hmmm," the younger doctor said, "Pretty clever. I think I'll try that at the next house."
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did.
"I'm feeling terribly run down lately."
"You've probably been doing too much extra work for the church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."
As they left, the elder doc said, Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?
"Well, just like you did at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed."   


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5763 on: Aug 05, 2021, 06:44:50 AM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5764 on: Aug 06, 2021, 03:20:31 AM »
A young girl was attending her first wedding, watching the proceedings with interest for a while before growing restless. The groom stood at the altar as six bridesmaids walked slowly up the aisle, one by one. Soon, the girl leaned over to her mom and whispered, “Why doesn’t he just hurry up and pick one?”


« Last Edit: Aug 06, 2021, 03:24:47 AM by 30-30 »

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5765 on: Aug 06, 2021, 06:52:26 AM »
 :D


Offline aquaassassin

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5766 on: Aug 06, 2021, 03:05:41 PM »
This Waste of space thread would be perfect for PMing vs. making everyone else haveto dodge around it each day I’m thinking?
It's not being cocky if you can back it up!

Offline aquaassassin

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5767 on: Aug 06, 2021, 06:26:04 PM »
And what’s sad is everyone agrees but no one has the balls to step up with me. I have a idea? How’s about we have a hunting site about HUNTING! Instead of the 8 of us who involve ourselves each year.

No wonder I bust my ass trying to recruit guys on here all year and it declines in posts by the season because of dogshit posts and 7 guys who care. No wonder this place sucks!

This place was phenomenal when guys tried. Now it’s myself and 6 others guys who shoot deer and 88 others who fuckin think driving to cabelas with the ole lady counts, fuck off!
It's not being cocky if you can back it up!

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5768 on: Aug 07, 2021, 05:05:18 AM »
And what’s sad is everyone agrees but no one has the balls to step up with me. I have a idea? How’s about we have a hunting site about HUNTING! Instead of the 8 of us who involve ourselves each year.

No wonder I bust my ass trying to recruit guys on here all year and it declines in posts by the season because of dogshit posts and 7 guys who care. No wonder this place sucks!

This place was phenomenal when guys tried. Now it’s myself and 6 others guys who shoot deer and 88 others who fuckin think driving to cabelas with the ole lady counts, fuck off!
              Such bitterness. Some are trying to put a little humor out. And complain to the man who started this web site.

Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5769 on: Aug 07, 2021, 05:06:01 AM »


The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.



The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5770 on: Aug 07, 2021, 05:14:26 PM »
 :D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5771 on: Aug 08, 2021, 04:39:22 AM »


Grandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't take it kindly when a bad case of the mulligrubs sent her to the hospital for observation.

By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about everything: the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the mattress - especially, the mattress.

Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord.

"What's that?" she demanded with great suspicion, suspecting it might be one of those high tech items the city folks talked about.

"If you need anything in the middle of the night, Grandma," said one of the interns, "just press that button."

"What does it do, ring a bell?" she asked.

"No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse on duty," the intern replied.

"A light in the hall?" responded Grandma. "Look, I'm the sick one around here. If the night nurse needs a light on in the hall, she can get up and switch it on herself."


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5772 on: Aug 08, 2021, 04:17:52 PM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5773 on: Aug 09, 2021, 04:00:05 AM »


The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the teacher decided to get her small pupils involved by playing a game in which they identified animals.

"I'm going to describe something to you. Let's see if you can guess what it is.

First: I'm furry with a bushy tail and I like to climb trees."

The children looked at her blankly.

"I also like to eat nuts, especially acorns."

No response. This wasn't going well at all!

Finally a kid volunteered:

"Well, I know the answer has to be Jesus....but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me!"




Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5774 on: Aug 09, 2021, 06:57:29 AM »
 ;D


 


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