Author Topic: Comic Relief!!  (Read 914813 times)

Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5580 on: Apr 09, 2021, 09:04:39 AM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5581 on: Apr 10, 2021, 04:09:15 AM »


A college girl was supposed to write a short story in as few words as possible for her English class and the instructions were that it had to include Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.
She was the only one who received an A+ and this is what she wrote:

"Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder who did it."


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5582 on: Apr 10, 2021, 02:50:36 PM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5583 on: Apr 11, 2021, 04:26:39 AM »


A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago."

"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.

"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."

Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5584 on: Apr 11, 2021, 08:27:13 AM »
 :D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5585 on: Apr 12, 2021, 04:57:13 AM »


A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his flying days during the war.
"In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember," he continues, "one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared.
At this point, several of the children giggle.
I looked up, and right above me was one of them. I aimed at him and shot him down. They were swarming. I immediately realized that there was another fokker behind me."
At this instant the girls in the auditorium start to giggle and boys start to laugh. The teacher stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company."

"That's true," says the pilot, "but these fokkers were flying Messerschmitt's."


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5586 on: Apr 12, 2021, 04:37:51 PM »
 ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5587 on: Apr 13, 2021, 04:02:26 AM »


One salesgirl in a candy store always had customers lined up waiting while other girls stood around idle.
The store owner asked for her secret.
"It's easy," she said. "The others scoop up more than a pound and then start taking away. I scoop up less, then add to it."


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5588 on: Apr 13, 2021, 07:40:31 AM »
 :D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5589 on: Apr 14, 2021, 04:07:31 AM »


A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to get them some snacks and drinks. As he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantle.

He picks it up, and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says, "What's this?"

She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there."

He turns beet red in horror and goes, "Geez, oh . . . I . . ."

She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."


Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5590 on: Apr 14, 2021, 07:33:59 PM »
  ;D ;D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5591 on: Apr 15, 2021, 03:59:59 AM »

A little girl was asked what she wanted most for her birthday and she declared: "A baby brother."
"Daddy and I would like to give you a baby brother," said her mom, "but there isn't time before your birthday."
"Why don't you do like they do down at Daddy's factory when they want something in a hurry? Put more men on the job."



Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5592 on: Apr 15, 2021, 06:23:34 PM »
 :D


Offline 30-30

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5593 on: Apr 16, 2021, 03:51:20 AM »


Early one evening a man went out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawn mower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle.
A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale.
"No," replied the gentleman, "my son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date."
"So what's with all the stuff?" asked the neighbor.

"Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him."



Offline Green Mountian Hunter

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Re: Comic Relief!!
« Reply #5594 on: Apr 16, 2021, 05:43:34 AM »
 ;D


 


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