Comic Relief!!

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

The dean of women at an exclusive girl's college was lecturing her students on sexual morality.
"In moments of temptation," said the speaker to the class, "ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"


A sweet young thing in the back of the room rose to ask: "How do you make it last an hour?"

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

One day a cowboy walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing that it had just come from the forge. He immediately dropped it and jammed his hand into his pocket, trying to act as if nothing had happened. The blacksmith noticed and asked with a grin, "Kind of hot, wasn't it?"
"Nope," answered the cowboy through clenched teeth, "it just doesn't take me long to look at a horseshoe."

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

A man was brought to a hospital with heavily fractured bones. The doctor in the intensive care unit asks him, "Are you married?"
"No, I've been run over by a truck."

[Green Mountian Hunter]

  

[30-30]

 A Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for her birthday.

"Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested. Cathy was delighted.

"It's your account, Darling," mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application."

Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for 'Name of your former bank.' After a slight hesitation, she put down, 'Piggy.'

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Me: Can we change the subject?
My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a $10 bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys looked at each other then gave the $10 note to the teacher.

[Green Mountian Hunter]

  poi

[30-30]

Two Roofers, Bob and Dan, were putting a new roof on a barn when a bundle of shingles slid down the slope and knocked the ladder over. Bob and Dan decided since it was early they would continue working because someone would surely come around by quitting time.

It was nearing 5 PM and they hadn't seen hide nor hair of anyone. So, they walked around the roof a few times and finally decided there was only one way down. On the West side of the barn was a big manure pile.

Bob says, "It's the only way down. I will go first." Bob jumped.

Dan heard the squishy landing and yelled, "Hey Bob! How deep did you go?"

Bob yells back, "I went to my ankles Dan, come on JUMP!" Dan jumps and goes clear up to his neck in manure.

He says to Bob, "I thought when you jumped you went up to your ankles?"

Bob replies, "I did, but I landed head first!"

[Green Mountian Hunter]