Comic Relief!!

[30-30]

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

 A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

 "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people.

The best call came from a man who repeatedly complained that he keeps being paged by "Lucille." He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him.

"She don't never leave no number, so I can't call her back," he said.

After three such calls, someone thought to ask how he knew it was Lucille if she didn't leave a number.

"She leaves her name," was the reply.

After establishing that the customer had a numericonly pager, the light bulb came on.

"How does she spell her name?" the service rep asked.

"L-O-W C-E-L-L"

Another problem solved.

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

Taiwanese Sick Leave




"I NO COME WORK TODAY" !!!





Hung Chow calls into work and says, Hey, boss, I no


come work today, I really sick. I got headache,


stomach-ache and my legs hurt, I no come work.



The boss says, You know Hung Chow, I really need you


today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and


tell her give me sex. That makes everything better


and I go work. You try that.



Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. Boss, I do


what you say and I feel great. I be at work

soon........You got nice house

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and

family values..

Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'

Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my


intelligence come from?'



 


The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother,


cause I still have mine.'

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court


Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'



'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then


I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'

[Green Mountian Hunter]

 

[30-30]

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took


the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'




'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really


good with the kids.'

[30-30]

An old woman goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she


has been living with for the last 40 years.



 


The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that


were used to put the curse on you.'



 


The old woman says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

[Green Mountian Hunter]